I have 3 BEAUTIFUL babies with my husband of 6 years. Our oldest son just turned 3, our daughter is 17 months and our youngest son is 3 months. I don't know how many times I get the "Oh my goodness! Why did you have them so close together?" question. Why does it matter? I know that some people are just curious, but many of them say it with disgust almost. Like they can't believe that someone would want to have so many children so close together. Like I'm crazy or something. I've gotten to the point that I get kind of snippy with people.
What's a better way to answer them without going into a detailed discussion of our family plan but not being rude either?
Does anyone else ever get that "look" when you tell people the age difference of your children? I know that my mom gets the same look when people realize how far apart in age me and my siblings are. (At least 4 years between all 5 of us)
2007-11-05 03:10:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Its so easy to take a step back and know exactly how to handle the situation when your looking back on it. When I'm actually in the midst of the situation though, I get so irritated. lol I'll blame it on hormones.
2007-11-05 03:28:29 · update #1
Mari M: Hahahahahaha. That's EXACTLY how I've been lately. I told a woman last night, "I don't know. Because we felt like it! Is that OK with you?!" The poor lady just stood there with her mouth opened. I felt really bad. I just excused myself and walked away. lol Again, I blame it on the hormones.
2007-11-05 03:32:02 · update #2
People do say the oddest things. Try not to be offended, and chock it up to simple ignorance on the part of the other person.
I had my kids 14 minutes apart. When I was pregnant, a stranger (woman) asked me what I was having. When I told her one of each, she said, "Oh my God! I'd kill myself if I were having twins!" What a perfectly dreadful thing to say to anyone! You just have to let those comments go.
As to what to say at the time, of course, you'll always come up with great comebacks after the fact....let's see, you could say, with a surprised expression, "Gosh, that's such a personal question. I'm really surprised you would ask that!". And let that be that. You don't have to be rude, but if you say it in a nice way, they'll be left to think about what they said.
When I was out with my babies, perfect strangers used to come up to me and ask me if my twins were "natural"! And someone asked me once, in hushed tones, "Where did you get them?". I told her they were having a sale at the grocery store...
Personally, I think your spacing was great! We had five when I was growing up, and each of us was between 16-24 months apart. Work for our parents early on, but a blast for us!
2007-11-05 05:36:37 · answer #1 · answered by Liza 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot more than the current greedy insurance company. And none of the insurance companies use Doctors to make their medical decisions now so how will that change anything? And Government Health Care has not destroyed any country that has started providing it. It would however break the stranglehold that the Insurance companies have on health care, NOW. Personally I think it is about time to break some of the big companies strangleholds like Big Insurance, Big Oil, Big Coal! And I have family in Canada who tell me the health care system there is a heII of a lot better than we have on this side of the border. They are very happy with the health care in Canada.
2016-05-27 23:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother's kids are 12 months apart so he gets those comments ALL the time. He usually just says, "we planned it that way because we want our kids to be close to each other."
Sometimes he says, "Not that it's ANY of your business, but we planned it that way."
One time, my brother's wife actually said, "Is it a crime? Like your outfit should be?" The look on that lady's face was priceless...
I think it's great that your kids are close in age...they will grow up really close like friends.
Regards,
mari
2007-11-05 03:24:31 · answer #3 · answered by mari m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, I do now.
My eldest is 14 and youngest 9 and I'm pregnant with number 3.
I always get asked ' don't you think that age gap is a bit wide, how will your kids cope when you have the baby?' Its like I must be a terrible mother for inflicting a baby on my older kids (who are as excited as the rest of us about the new addition)
I just ignore the idiots.....
2007-11-05 03:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I get that all the time...as well as the "do you know what causes that?"and "are they all yours?"
You dont have to tell them anything. Some people talk before they think, some people just talk and never think!
But if you feel you need to answer them, just tell them you loved being a mom so much you couldnt wait to have more.
2007-11-05 03:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by SKITTLES 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont see anything wrong with that... my kids are only 18 months apart ( my son was 9 months old when i got preggy with my other son) ... I think it is a good idea to have them so close together
It is none of their business why you had them so close together
2007-11-05 03:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by Kim S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people are rude for some reason they think if you are a mom or pregnant they have the right to ask you tons of personal questions and then give you their opinions or advice.
I have 5 kids so I here comments like "Well are you having any more" "don't you know what causes that" "I thought people in the south only had big families like that"
2007-11-05 03:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your right some are just curious. But others dont know how to mind there own business. Some think they know how everybody else should run their lives.
You should proudly tell them that you and your husband wanted to have your children exactly when you did and that you think it is was timed perfectly!!
2007-11-05 03:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by sheena708 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its better to mash them all close together. Its more fun for them as they grow, and its nice to know that you can be done birthing children and building your family all in one go- instead of over the course of 10-15 years.
Who cares what people thing. Its their objective to assume what they want.
2007-11-05 03:14:34 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think people are just trying to make conversation really and don't know what else to say. I see nothing wrong with having them that close. If they ask why they're so close in age...say "I guess we're just blessed".
2007-11-05 04:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋