watching tv and seeing many people with gender identity confusion is scary. we have a 15 month old son and it would be hard to find out one day that he doesn't like girls! I know it's a horrible thought to have, I can't help it.
right now he seems to be really interested in all of Daddy's toys, he has transformers and cars and our son is always pretending to drive them and make car noises and makes roaring noises with tigers and other toys. He also loves my baby doll that I have and he's always trying to help me cook and clean and is always wanting to kiss any little babies that we see out in public. Is it too early to see any signs of gender confusion?
2007-11-05 03:03:59 · 10 answers · asked by JumpingBean 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
NO i do not tell him what boys should play with. we are actually getting him a play kitchen for christmas and it's my husband who doesn't like him playing with my doll but i let him and gave him a bottle to feed her with. my mom even got him a little broom because he loves to sweep over at her place with the big broom. he carries that little broom around everywhere when we are there.
2007-11-05 03:24:56 · update #1
First of all, your toddler is just beginning to develop a sense of self. He is just figuring out who he is, separate from mom and dad. He has plenty of time to figure that out!
Boys need to learn how to clean and how to be tender, kind and care for a baby. All children need to have access to toys of all kinds. Doing tender things, or things that are considered typically within the femine stereotype is not a sign of sexuality. He will not even begin that phase of development until he is at least 7 or 8, maybe older.
Let him play with what he wants to. Encourage him to learn what he needs to to be a good daddy and husband. This has nothing to do with his sexuality!! Seek some help if you need further assurances and guidance.
My son did the same thing. He is now 11 and has many crushes on GIRLS. But even if he didn't, I'd love him anyway! When he was younger he said he wanted to be a daddy when he grew up, and an astronaut. Now he's says he'll get married, but is unsure if he'll have kids. At least he'll be able to help keep the house clean, who doesn't want that in a husband?
I think many mothers do their sons a disservice by not letting them develop all sides of their personality, or let them explore how to be gentle, kind, and clean as well as manly. All good qualities, atractive male qualities! Your son is great, don't worry. He's luck to have a mom who lets him explore that side of himself!
2007-11-05 05:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children as young as your son do not understand gender. All three of my boys wanted Barbie toys until they were four, lol. I would allow your child to play with whatever makes him happy. It's much too early to see any gender confusion. The reason he likes to help you cook and clean is because you are his world and he is learning by example. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job showing him life and love (kissing all the babies, cute!).
You know, I've never thought it would be horrible to find out one of my son's are gay. I mean, of course, I hope to have grandchildren and three daughter in laws, but if I don't... I'll gladly accept it for who they are. Our children have so much stress coming from every side... I think I could accept it. I just love my sons that much.
Best of luck!
2007-11-05 04:25:29 · answer #2 · answered by Amy G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he loves the baby! In his world everyone loves the baby! And he sees mom and dad and grandma use a broom so its a fun thing. When my son was small he loved vaccuums because Daddy did the vaccuuming in our house. Don't worry about little things like that. Now if he was 8 years old and having a tea party - I might get a little concerned then.
2007-11-05 04:06:00 · answer #3 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly fine for your son to want to play with dolls and help you around the house. It's natural for children that young to do that, they are too innocent to know the stereotypes that society places on gender roles. If you tell him that dolls are not for boys, then you are doing more harm than good to him. When boys play with dolls it is teaching them to become caring and compassionate men when they grow up.
2007-11-05 03:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by sugarbear1a 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so and I hope not! lol. My son is 14months old and he does all the same things. He is very friendly and loves kissing babies and even pictures of babies. He plays with cars and boy toys but he also likes to brush his hair with my brush ... So I really hope its normal. Good Luck!
2007-11-05 03:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
No.
The gender differences you refer to are not differences that come naturally. From birth, even the most open minded of parents encourage their sons to like cars and trains and various sports. Little girls are encouraged to like princesses, butterflies and babydolls. It's not something we do consciously, but it does happen.
At one point, certain toys and activities were clearly gender specific. Little girls played with dolls and house-keeping toys, imitating Mommy. Little boys played with tools and cars and imitated Daddy. But today's children are most often parented fairly equally. Moms go to the office, and Dads often change diapers, cook dinner and dress their daughters and fix their hair. So today's little boys can be playing with the traditionally "housewifey" toys, imitating their dads.
The term "gender confusion" implies something of a sense of sexuality. Toddlers and preschoolers do not have that sense, they just know certain activities and toys are fun. So they play indescriminately, based on what they think is fun, not based on whether their activity is good "for boys" or "for girls."
For the time being, encourage him to want to love on babies (or a baby doll), pretend to cook, help cook or clean, etc., because those activities are just good things for a man to know how to do. It's good for ANY child to learn to be nurturing and affectionate. It's good for ANY child to clean up after themselves. Take advantage of his attitude about those things now, so he can learn early on, while he WANTS to.
I dont' know if your son will be gay or not. Neither do you. He SURE doesn't. But right now, that's not what this is about. It's not even what this hints at. You have at least a decade to deal with that issue, if it is even an issue.
By the way, every decent man I know was like that as a child. My cousin was the one boy among seven girls (very close cousins, not sisters), and he was the oldest. I was born a year later, and the nickname "Babydoll" has followed me for 28 years in my extended family, because my 18-month-old cousin was not used to real babies, and was convinced I was a babydoll like the ones at school, and he was very affectionate to me when were toddlers. As we grew up, that changed to him being really supportive and protective of me, and of my sisters and four other cousins.
Another cousin, on the other side of the family and 11 years younger than I, is this big varsity football player, as manly as a 16-yr-old can be. My sisters and I really enjoy holding the fact that he used to dress up in his mom's clothes and carry around a babydoll when he was a preschooler over him.
Sorry, I know I've ranted. Just know that what your son enjoys doing right now is not an indicator of whether he will be gay, or that he is showing early signs of gender confusion. He's just being a little kid.
The next time his dad acts uncomfortable about your son's decision to love on and take care of a baby doll, remind him of any nurturing he has done with your son, from feeding and changing him, to sitting with him to cuddle and look at a book, to tucking him in to bed at night.
2007-11-05 04:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gender confusion is a load of bull crap. Its just a bunch of hippy parents who noticed something small in their child and fed it. I dont care what anyone says. Its a load of crock.
Your son sounds perfectly normal. Its completely normal for a baby of 15 months to want to kiss babies, and help you with whatever you're doing.
Dont stress over it, its not worth it.
2007-11-05 03:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
He isn't having an issue with gender identity .... he is mimmicking the people around him and what they do.... he is a sponge and so things he sees you do and your husband do, he does! I bought my son a doll! I think that it is important for us to teach them to be tender as well as to jump off the couch!!
Relax and enjoy watching him explore your world!!!!!
2007-11-05 03:10:09 · answer #8 · answered by Michele J 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
No hes fine, my son does exactly the same things, dont worry about him just let him be a kid.
2007-11-05 03:12:57 · answer #9 · answered by .............x.................. 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
let the kid be a kid -- boys will play with dolls -- girls will play with trucks -- let'em -- nuff time to screw their little mushy brains up in school
2007-11-05 03:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by de viking 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋