Was this the right way to control my son?

Question

I have an nineteen month old toddler, whom I stay at home with all of the time, he's not in daycare. Last night, I was sitting on the couch beside him and he was lying down because he had felt sick all weekend (stomach virus). He then got up, walked over to me, put his mouth on my arm and bit down as hard as he could it left teeth imprints and even a small rash the next day. I pulled him off of my arm, told him firmly "no you don't bite" took him to his room with the lights off and closed the door. That is the only form of time out I can use, it actually works. Then a few minutes later, I went to his room, he came out and I told him "you don't bite, that hurts, do you understand" he just sniffled and I kept repeating until he looked me in the eyes to let him know I was serious. Then he walked into the living room, laid on the couch, I ignored him and began cleaning the kitchen, and he fell asleep. Did I do this right? I was stunned, but hope he doesn't repeat this behavior. Advice?

Answer 1

That was good. He was punished, and then you made it clear what he did that caused the punishment so that he is less likely to repeat that behavior because it produced an unfavorable result.

Answer 2

Time-outs are healthy for everyone involved because it gives the parent some time apart from the incident!

The only issue I would have is if your son was terrified of the dark, putting him in a pitch-black room could be wrong. Otherwise - if there was some light, or if he handles the dark well - you did nothing wrong.

Answer 3

Good news/bad news. You handled it well but there are some best practices. You expressed disapproval. That is good. The time out is good. But turning out the lights; probably not good. Repeating the message, i.e. closing the issue is good. But the continuing "shunning" is probably not a best practice as he will see that as "unlove". The phrase, "love the sinner, hate the sin" is a good practical rule. In this case, you clearly communicated the action was bad. But the best practice is to include lots of love at the same time, or shortly thereafter to distinguish between a "bad act" and a "bad person". After the incident is closed and punishment completed, accept him back into the fold with love, i.e. forgive and forget.

Answer 4

No, the way you behaved was not right: to put your toddler in a dark room was too much for punishment, even if it was only for a few minutes. I didn't read about you asking the child why he was angry at you ? the only thing you cared about was you. Something made your child behave that way toward you, children have feelings, you know ?, and yes, a bite hurts, but something was hurting your child too, and you didn't bother to find it out. Putting him in a dark room only added insult to injury. That's a good way to create phobias in a child.
Maybe you'd benefit from parenting classes, parents are not born knowing everything about raising children correctly. There are many parenting groups in cities, and it's not expensive to join them, actually many are free.

Answer 5

I think you did wrong,you should just have told him how naughty it was that hurting people is unacceptable be firm let him give you a cuddle sorry and that should be the end of it,or even a tap on the back of the hand.All kids go through different naughty phases,biting ,spiting,kicking even swearing,the older they get the more firmer you can get with punishment but at that age its still a learning phase.

Answer 6

Bite him back just as hard as he bit you SERIOUSLY . I have 4 kids 3 of them use to bite so I bit them back to let them know how it felt and trust me they didn't bite any more.And don't play with him bite him just as hard as he bit you..It's a stage he is going throw..good luck

Answer 7

You Corrected him right but after you corrected him you should of set him down and explained to him it was wrong and told him you loved him

Answer 8

A swat on his butt would of let him know that you are serious too.