So he doesn't like confrontation with his bm because she and her family will be mad at him, but what about my feelings. We live together, drive the same car, and they know about me. Why should I have to feel like a secret? When his son comes over he's with me. I buy his clothes and take him out every weekend. But he's more worried about what his bm will say than me.
2007-11-05 01:56:14 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He probably is doing the best for his child. He does not want his son to see any dramas.
If it seems important to you, please talk it over with your fiance. maybe you , the birth mother, and your fiance can one day talk privately without his son present , and you can try to work out your problems in a civilized way.
She needs to know if your his fiance, and probably his future wife that you will also will be a part of her son's life and deal with it to.
2007-11-05 02:01:07 · answer #1 · answered by me 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are pretty selfish. First, the bm probablly does cause alot of drama, even more so when she see's you. Do you like her giving your man drama? Why should it matter if he drops you off first, he is only trying to keep things calm. Most people would want to do that around their children. You need to chillout and quit thinking about yopurself, have you ever thought how his son might feel to have to see and hear the arguments from not only his mom, but also with you and his dad. The poor kid just can't get away from the crap that you guys are doing.
2007-11-05 02:18:04 · answer #2 · answered by gotbeerimez69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's protecting your feelings by keeping you separated from the confrontations that may likely arise if the bm and the new gf meet. I go through this all the time. My wife appreciates that I keep distance between her and the bm.
2007-11-05 02:01:37 · answer #3 · answered by Me again 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he cares enough about you to not want you involved in his past affairs. There seems to be lots of bad blood between him and his BM and her family, so I am sure he just doesnt want you to be burdened with it. He wants to keep your relationship separate from this other girl. His son probably has a great deal of affection for you, and it probably makes the real Mom jealous. You never know, you might be better to him than his real mom is, you might actually try to show him kindness and love that she cannot.
2007-11-05 02:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by Brad 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly its one thing for his bm to know about you, and another thing to physically she you with her son. Your boyfriend knows her better than you do, and if he thinks this is best...go with it. Do you really need or want extra drama and stress in your life? I doubt it, this has been working so far, so why change it? There will come a point in time, when both of them will have to come to terms with things, but its something they have to decide between the two fo them. So just be patient, and it will work itself out!
2007-11-05 02:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to avoid confrontation and trouble. His son needs to see amicable parents and it's not your fault but your fiance is being mature and avoiding trouble that doesn't have to be a problem. Your concern should be his son and him, and as long as you are doing well with those two you're good! Your fiance probably isn't trying to hide you, just trying to avoid what he knows will happen (again, not your fault or his...seems it's his ex's and her families issue). Just continue to be there for his son and him. And he IS worried about his ex because he probably knows how she is and doesn't want any trouble where his son is concerned.
2007-11-05 02:03:54 · answer #6 · answered by laura1977 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he's right here.
The only thing accomplished by you being there when he drops off his boy would be to cause drama. If his family knows about you and his son knows about you, then I wouldn't say you're a "secret". He's just trying to avoid needless arguing in front of the boy. In my opinion, he's trying to do right by his son AND you...unless you're itching for a catfight with the ex.
2007-11-05 02:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by Greg R (2015 still jammin') 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that your fiance is trying to do what's best for his son. I don't think he is favoring his bm over you. It sounds like you are wonderful with his child. Relationships where there are children and exes are difficult. There's no getting around that.
2007-11-05 02:02:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hope you get that issue straightened out before the wedding. You and he need to have a serious discussion on that subject of if you are a couple or are you just a room mate. Either way he has no need to be hiding you. After the first confrontation the Birth Mother will either accept it or you all can meet in a public place to do a child swap and that way you will not have to be on her turf.
2007-11-05 02:01:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This aint right. If you are living together, then you should meet the child's mother and be included. Maybe he thinks yall will fight. You need to assure him that you will not start a fight with bm, and that from now on he does not need to drop you off anymore.
2007-11-05 02:02:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Might one assume that 'bm' means 'birth mother'?
Give a little or leave. Think about the child. He may have accepted you, but she's still his mother and there's no point in making the child choose.
2007-11-05 02:01:15 · answer #11 · answered by cymry3jones 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋