Anyone with a 7 yr old boy who....?

Question

has a bit of a problem with yelling at his parents and being disrespectful and sometimes down right rude? I have been having this problem with him for awhile now and am always trying to explain to him that he cant be so disrespectful...he gets time outs and the whole time he sits there saying how we hate him and we are so mean and we never feed him, and what ever else he can come up with....I get so tired of explaining the rules to him...what are some good methods of dealing with 7 year olds who think they are already all grown up and know everything?

the time outs are never over 5 minutes.....I think consistency is the key to making a child understand the rules, I take away his video game privileges and up his chores but he never seems to care or try to earn back his video games (unless he is really bored)...but I am enjoying all of your advice and I think I will take him to his ped' if I can not find a cure for this behavior :)

Answer 1

I don't think your time outs are long enough, for one thing. He should have one minute for each year of age. Also, his time should not start until he starts cooperating. If he is supposed to be learning not to be obstinate, then he has to be made to stop being obstinate, even if he sits in time out all day...once or twice doing that and he'll start making some better choices. Try the 1,2,3 magic program. Give him the opportunity to correct himself with warnings. Also quit "explaining" things to him. Lay down the law....this behavior is not going to be tolerated. Period. He knows what he is doing is against the rules, you shouldn't have to discuss that. In short, firm discipline is the key. When you are constantly "discussing" the rules with a child, he or she begins to see himself as your equal, and that appears to be what is happening here.

Answer 2

You've got to find a method that works.

I've got an idea. Rather than putting HIM in time out, how about his favorite posession...be it a toy, video game, the TV.

When he acts up, he loses a priviledge or the item goes in time out for X amount of time, depending upon severity.

Some of my friends who use this tactic also make "good behavior" tokens or coupons where the child is rewarded for good behavior by receving coupons of which they can use to "post bond" on the item in time out.

Some parents have also found that putting up a cardboard box around the time out area has a good affect...they do this and tell their child that their words in time out are "bouncing off the box" and their parents can't hear them.

A lot of this is social behavior...it *could* be psychotic behavior, but rule out just plain out disrespect (and honestly evaluate the parenting skills, too...you can't say no and 5 minutes later grant something) first before hightailing it to a shrink.

It would also be an appropriate subject to ask your pediatrician at the next visit.

Also, is your time out too long?

They say it should be a minute per every year old they are.

Hope any of this helps.

Answer 3

Simply ignore him. It sounds like hes doing it for attention. As for saying things that are rude, sit him in time out, or stand him in the corner(it embarass's them), set a timer for 5 mins. or however long and everytime he says anything at all, reset the timer. If hes in trouble for being rude theres no reason to let him continue being rude when hes in time out. Also don't keep talking and explaining when you reset the timer, hes old enough he only needs to be told once or twice. He's also old enough that you could take things away or ground him. For example, if hes rude then he gets no tv for a week. Basically just take away whatever he likes, then when he mouths off about it take something else away or make it 2 weeks instead of 1. The key to this is being consistent, he won't stop if he knows that he'll have it back in a day. Eventually he will stop. Hope this helps, Good Luck

Answer 4

Wow. This is serious. I have a 7 year old and he ever spoke to me like this he'd see some serious consequences. I would seriously try some new strategies with either punishments or incentives. What does your son love to do? My son will do anything not to lose the 20 minutes a day he gets on the computer. You may want to talk to a child psychologist if you can't make any headway in a short amount of time.

Answer 5

Well, you should sit him down in another room. Tell him the rules in a stern (but not yelling) voice. Then if he cries don't leave the room, just wait until he stops. After that say, "This is the last time I'm doing this. You are a seven year old boy who is acting like a four year old. You are old enough to get punished so until I think you are acting respectful to the people around you, you will not be able to have playdates with friends and ___________ will be taken away." Then leave. If he cries so be it, just do not react. I hope this helps :-)

Answer 6

My daughter was like this at 7, about the time other behaviors showed up that made us test for ADHD. My suggestion is to make sure he gets 'time in'. Are you spending time with him when he is behaving appropriately? Rewarding for good behavior could help. Personally, we use 'dimes for disrespect' in our home. My girls 11, 8, and 4 have to put a dime in a jar when they act disrespectful to any one else, including each other. If they do not have a dime from allowance they must do a chore to work it off. They do not like giving up their bubble gum money.
If you want to stick with time out, then put him in another room where you can not hear what he is saying. He is trying to make you mad because you made him mad. He is old enough to know the rules and follow them.

Answer 7

"This is the worst day ever!"

That's what my son always says. He's also 7.

I totally disagree with taking him to a doctor to get a "diagnosis". All that means is they will want to give him drugs to experiment on him, like so many other unfortunate children in America are being experimented on.

What works with us is removing him from the situation or giving him a situation appropriate punishment.

For example: if you are in a grocery store, and he starts whining about wanting a box of cookies, tell him, "No". If the whining persists, leave the store. Immediately.

It may take two or three times, but if you consistently react to his behavior in the same manner, he will knock it off.

Now let's say that he has trouble getting out of bed in the morning. He shouts "I don't wanna!" and tells you "No!" when you attempt to wake him.

Explain to him that starting tomorrow, you will tell him to get up only once. If he does not get out of bed when he is told, then you will know that he is telling you he is extra tired, and will need to go to bed early. So, if he is not out of bed and dressed by a certain time each morning, that night he will go to bed at 7pm. He will continue this bedtime until he is able to get out of bed correctly.

Be prepared for this to last 2-3 weeks.

Parenting is hard. But you are in charge. There is nothing wrong with your son, and even though you believe you are being consistent, honestly the problem probably lies with that. I know when we are having trouble with our kids I can trace it straight back to my becoming inconsistent with a particular rule.

Another option would be to check his diet. Does he eat a lot of processed foods, white flour, and high fructose corn syrup? I know my munchkin goes sour when he eats too much junk food. We are strict on food in our home, but sometimes he will trade part of his packed lunch to other kids at school and will get very unhealthy junk (ironic that all the other kids want his health food, lol). He tends to get snotty on those days.

Eliminate sodas and sugar (including masked sugar words like high fructose corn syrup, etc) from his diet, and make sure he is getting enough fruits, vegetables, and whole grains each day. Also be sure to feed him a good breakfast.

Trust me, it will improve his attitude.

Answer 8

It sounds like your child has a problem, with not feeling wanted. Try to set some time with just him, and you. Doing things that he enjoys. Give him props for what he does do, and when he is nice. Try to avoid punishing him all of the time. Believe me it is very hard. I have a 7 year old that keeps pooping his pants, and since stopped pooping but is now peeing. We have just stopped stressing over it again, and he stopped doing it everyday. Kids pick up on all different vibes. And bad attention is better than none at all. Make sure that this kid knows you love him very much, and then model the way you want him to be. He will eventually stop. But make sure that no one is hurting him. It sounds like something is wrong. very wrong.

Answer 9

When my sons are naughty I hit them where it hurts, I take away what they cherish most.....technology and friends.
Sure I have to endure lots of whining and bad behavior but they do not get whichever one I choose back until they behave! My 16 yr old rarely gives us trouble and when the 6 yr old acts up I can hear him say; "don't mess with momma you wont win!"
LOL
Lisa

Answer 10

you should take him to a psychologist if this problem persists. try to show him what his behavior is like "in the mirror" so have someone else his own age yell at him and disrespect him and see what he has to say about being treated like this.
and if he says that you hate him... could it be possible that he might have a reason?