help out non-stop and when you cannot help on one occassion they cut you out of their lives? if so how did you deal with? cannot talk it through other party refusing to communicate!
2007-11-04 21:36:02 · 13 answers · asked by tkf57 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
jane d - i did not want anything for myself - i helped out wherever i was asked - i did not manipulate anyone!
2007-11-04 22:22:05 · update #1
What an awful situ\tion to be in. I think you have had a lucky break, they are obviously a very selfish person with no concern for other peoples feelings.
From personal experience there really is very little you can do. If they wont talk to you and you have tried to explain your situation then you will just have to leave them to their bitterness.
You could try writing them a letter as they will probably open it and therefore read it, whereas an email they can delete without opening and they can just hang up the phone.
To be honest I think you are better off without them, if this is how badly they treat you then you are better off surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care for you.
2007-11-04 21:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay i know how you feel from experience you kill someone with kindness and you give,give, give and they take, take,take and then *poof* you hear nothing from them they stop talking to you. and the truth is if they can do that do you without a second thought then they weren't really good for you in the first place. I know some people have heard this before but it was really good advice and i take it to heart: you have a lot of people in your life, now some of those people, compared to a tree, are the roots, they have known you all your life, know all your secrets and aren't going anywhere, then you have the trunk they are there thick and thin no matter what, the you have the branches they may not be there when you need them but they are there for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to lean on, lastly the leaves they maybe there for a short period of time but not for long and those are the ones you need to let go of because if you don't then it could mess up your life....... now i don't know if you actually going to read that but there's my advice and i follow it so it might help you out a bit....^_^
2007-11-05 12:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by floetrygurl_loves_poetry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think everyone has done this at some point the thing is the more u do for someone the more they expect and another thing u find they appreciate the people how don't do alot for them like u they take u for granted and spit there dummy out when u say no there just selfish people who want people to runaround after them if they don't want to talk don't lose any sleep over it coz if that's all it takes for them to stop talking to u then there not as gud a Friend as u thought sounds as if u have no use for them if u do not do what they say just move on that all i can say i did and Ive never looked back trust me you will be better off with out them sort of people ;-)
2007-11-04 21:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now be extremely honest with yourself on this one. I want you to ask yourself: "Am I helping them because I care about them? Or am I helping them sorta-kinda thinking that I will get something back as a result? (like some kind of relationship, etc.)"? Think hard, and really try to know yourself. Because if you were truly giving and doing and helping this other person for their sake AND NOT YOUR OWN, then you wouldn't even be asking this question. You see, doing nice things for other people is its own reward. *wink.
My guess is that this other person feels you've done all this in order to trap or possess them in some way - to get them to like you. And now they feel they owe you something (their heart). And nobody wants to feel the pressure of owing someone. If they are not communicating at this point it's because they are "on to you". Your tender, sweet manipulations have chased them away (and you didn't even know you were doing it, right?) *wink.
2007-11-04 21:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by jane d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this goes deeper than not being able to help out on one occasion. that might have been the catalyst, but...
that's all that i can usefully say really - and as usual there isn't a solution that can be handed out on a plate because both parties have to work on solving this particular problem and as long as one won't then there can be no solution. sorry
the only thing you can do is to work on how you process this - give it a place (which might be in a pending file) in your mind and try your hardest not to let it damage you. easier said than done, i know...
have you thought about meditation?
2007-11-05 02:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by vetaler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Worry not - they will need you again soon - in no time and then they will see how much you did before!
keep trying to communicate though - don't give up.
BUT when you get back again draw some boundries and ensure that you are no longer taken for granted.
Good Luck!
2007-11-04 21:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by Pagan Pip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like, his or hers philosophy on life is 'You only get out of life what you take from it' Treat it as a wake up-call. Life is too short. Give them no more until you get the respect you deserve and they start giving back to you.
2007-11-04 21:44:24 · answer #7 · answered by rattyrat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with ginger. All or nothing people are very high maintenance in my experience and drop you like a hot brick as soon as you're not able to pander to their needs. They are often very inflexible people who put their own needs first. Put it down to experience and move on. You did your best.
2007-11-04 21:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really mean. So they only had use for you when it suited them? Stuff them. They could be alot more understaning especially since you've always done things for them
2007-11-04 22:40:39 · answer #9 · answered by gstar 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sadly, there are people like that. i sometimes wonder f it's b/c they've become accustom to the help. not much you can do except back away for a while.
2007-11-04 23:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋