I have a friend that's pregnant like me and actually due this month. She is on bedrest and had to pick her child up from school b/c she is acting out bad enough that she's telling the principal of the school, "yeah, you go ahead, just call the police!!!" My friend is at her wits end. I asked about her discipline methods and she said she doesn't spank b/c she (the mom) has an anger problem and refuses to on the account that she's scared that she won't stop.
How in the world are they suppose to put the fear of god in this child so that she'll learn that she needs to stop acting out? The mom is running out of ideas. She's already taking things away like the t.v. in her room and the phone privledges. What else do you think?
2007-11-04 20:20:48 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
It could actually be the beginning of sibling rivalry. Perhaps the child is not feeling part of the family to the degree that he/she actually really wants/needs. For example, is the child participating in the pregnancy by patting mums belly, being taught about what baby might need, is the child helping provide simple decorations (his own drawings) for babys room. My impression is that there is already resistance towards this child...eg. put the fear of god into he/she... lol... I would suggest, next time they go to a birthing class or something, take the child as well. But I agree something needs to be done before the child believes he/she is not wanted when the new baby comes. Simply, extra effort over the next year with the child may prevent a further 6- 8 years of hell and fighting. I am also wondering what kind of example is the father setting... and if he is not there, then maybe there are additional issues here beyond any simple answer! School/community counsellor?
2007-11-04 20:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by latem321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spanking is not the answer and I think it's very responsible for your friend to realize her weakness. Discipline is needed and does not need to be physical. The girl may be feeling lonley because there has been so much attention made towards the new baby and with her mom being on bed rest she may miss the things her & mom used to do together. Mom needs to sit down & talk to this child and really get to the bottom of this problem. If she can't I suggest starting to take away things that the child likes. For example no tv for a month, no dessert, no friends over or a combination of things.
2007-11-05 03:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Cheyenne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds a lot like the child is behaving in this way to gain attention, which is one of the most common reasons children misbehave. She might be worried about the impending baby stealining the limelight.
Children will repeat any behaviour which is reinforced through attention, whether the attention is positive attention, or negative. That means, that even though the attention she is getting through acting up at school isn't "good" - it's till attention, and while she is receiving it, she'll keep doing whatever she's doing to earn it.
The trick is to start giving her attention for things that she does RIGHT. That way, the attention is for good behaviour, and she will repeat the GOOD behaviour in order to get more attention. Start with one little thing, like (I don't know what the jobs may be at home....but just fora suggestion) ask her to wash the dishes...then give her verbal praise for doing so. Make her feel special for doing the right thing. You could make some kind of card, or visual way to track the "good days" she has at school to, so that instead of focusing on the negative things she does, she has to work to earn say, a series of stamps on a card (if her behaviour is extreme, she could have a "morning" and "afternoon" stamp, so that if her behaviour is good for half the day, she is rewarded for that.) If she collects five stamps in a row, (or three, depending on how bad her behaviour is) - she gets some kind of treat, it doesn't have to be monetary either - it could be something like having a friend sleep over?). Then, build it up slowly from there. The important thing is, even though it is the last thing you feel like doing - to acknowledge the smallest things that are positive - and "tactically" ignore the rest. Make it so she wants to do more and more things right, so that she's getting attention for the right reasons. Everyone will be happier, and I'm sure the school will be happy to co-operate - in fact I'm surprised that they haven't suggested something similar.
Anyway, all the best!
2007-11-04 20:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child is obviously very unhappy and "putting the fear of God" in her wold not help in the long term. She needs some practical help in the running of her home (the mom) some quality time with her daughter daily....maybe the girl feels neglected at the moment.
2007-11-04 20:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ground remove toys video games tv no friends no pc time outs things like that. she needs to get firm be for hes arrested. this kid needs attention from her. tell her to get her head out of her uterus (shes obsessing over the baby thats coming and neglecting him) and spend time with. him.
2007-11-05 00:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋