Target Meltdown????

Question

I have a 4 year old Daughter. her tantrums have become few and far between, so I take her more places. anyway, last night I went to target with her, When I bring her with we always bring my 2 year old home a surprise for staying home with daddy. Well she wasnt happy about the surprise that I got for her sister so she decided to throw a tantrum right there in the dollar section at Target. At first I tryed to ignor it, thinking that if I started walking away she would follow. (diddnt happen) I left my cart and picked her up to go out to the car. (I also had my 13 year old along so I was going to leave her in the car with him and go back in and pay for my stuff) Anyway, on the way out to the car people were glareing at us. It really made me very angry. Well we got to the car and I had a talk with my daughter, and she promised to be good. we went back in and she was the perfect little girl. my question is, How could I have handled the situation better to please these glareing, perfect

continued... people and have you ever been in this perdicament with one of your children?

Answer 1

i've also been in similar situations
just ignore the jack asses that glare

i bet you anything that the 4 yr old wanted to get something specific for the 2 yr old so next time let her pick it out and tell her that she needs to tell you stuff nicely instead of throwing a fit because the fit doesnt let you know what she wants

maybe the 4 yr old wanted a treat to

dont try to please the glaring perfect people they obviously dont have children or have bratty children that get everything

Answer 2

Hi, I so know where you are coming from. I have four children under 6 and it is my six year old boy and my 2 year old boy who have the tantrums just like you explained in shops. My six year old does not stop in the car though his last for the whole day and I am not exaggerating.
I personally don't think you can do anything to handle it better and anyone out there with children would so understand your point of view.
I get the same looks from people when my boys play up and it is actually the looks from onlookers that bugs me more then my children playing up. People think you can control your children's actions all the time, what they forget is kids are human beings as well and are expressing themselves in a way that they no how. Kids have not learnt life skills and only see what is directly in front of them. They are just being kids and it is all a learning process for them at this age. Shore it is frustrating and embarrassing at times but like I said anyone with kids will not think twice at how you handled it. It seems to be so easy for people to forget what there children were like when they were young and if they say they did not do this I think most of them would be lying.

Answer 3

My daughter had a melt down on Friday Night while at Kohl's. My husband asked me when we got in the car don't you like it whenever one stares at you. I just always want to tell them that I'm sure there children through a fit ever once in a while. People who have their first child and they are an infant and they are staring I want to tell them that their child will act this way at some point in their life so be prepared and yes I said before I had children that my kids will not act like that in public. But they do and sometimes you can help it because you don't know when it's going to happen.

Answer 4

It's really best for children if you talk to them in a calm manner, even if they are thrashing around and acting like, well, children. They have the right to do so.

If she's really throwing a fit, you can simply stand calmly and observe her, not in a mad way, but simply gesture that you're waiting for her to stop. You can try calling her name in a soft way.


After that, you can have a sit-down with her. but don't make the child feel as if she's being scolded. Just calmly tell her that whining won't get her anything. Tell her the truth, kids value honesty in parents and older siblings. Tell her that if she whines, you don't like it, and tell her that soon enough if she always whines she's going to have big ugly veins around her face and she wouldn't be pretty anymore!

It's best for a child, children, to see things logically.


At this certain predicament, however, you couldn't really stop the glaring. You know, it's not like you wanted your daughter to throw a fit now, did you? Ignore the people.


Children really don't like it when they're seen as "bad". They need love and comfort as much as they you could give them.

It's best if your daughter can look at her mistakes and realize that it's not good for her to do that.

And remember do things in a loving way... it really helps a lot, especially in her age, which is very critical.


Smile when you talk to her.


I'm sixteen, and eldest of three girls, and I wish my dad didn't get mad at me as often as he did.


I really wish he told me how I was wrong, and explain why and what to do the next time.


I know it's like hard to keep your temper, (i know, my sisters are annoying!) but you should keep in mind that affects toddlers a lot when there's a negative atmosphere.

If you really can't help being angry, tell them that you are upset, but not before drinking a glass of water and heaving a deep sigh!!!


Smile always.

Answer 5

You did the right thing. Maybe people were glaring because they thought you should have taken her out sooner. My son is 3 and just getting to the defiant stage. He tried to throw a tantrum in the store one day and I got down, gently, but firmly grabbed his shoulders, looked him in the eye and said sternly "You WILL NOT act like this!" He was good as gold after that.

Answer 6

Been there, You handled it appropriately. Unfortuately there are ignorant people in this world who a) don 't like kids and can't tollerate them having melt downs ruins their day( my ex husbands parents were like that) b) feel that they can do a better job at raising your child c) forget themselves what it is like.
I smile at those people and shrug my shoulders because I am not going to let the glares from strangers get to me.
I have to agree on one of the other comments Maybe your daughter wanted to pick out herself or maybe she wanted one for herself?
Don't beat yourself up. I would have done the same thing and have.

Answer 7

I've been in very similar situations. It's quite possible that these people weren't glaring, but they made you feel that way because it's hard not to notice a screaming child! I know I feel like the entire store is looking at me when my son gets like that. You handled it perfectly. Don't second guess yourself. If anyone DOES glare at you, glare right back. They're ignorant.

Answer 8

It is always easier for people to judge when they are not in that situation or their children are much older that they do not even remember going through it. I have this problem with my son and I usually look straight ahead and do not make eye contact so I don't start feeling weird about having to take my child out to the car. You did fine in this situation.

Answer 9

you did a great job, you didnt let her get her way and you talked to her about it and she went through on her word of being good. make sure you tell her she needs to use her big girl words instead of crying and throwing a fit. she needs to talk to u, and tell u whats wrong. next time you should ask her what she think the baby would like, talk to her about her decision and let her know if it would be a good toy for her or not and explain it to her.
good luck~ and dont worry about what other people think about you or your kids, it is kinda hard not to check out why a kid is upset and tryin to see if they kid is ok. they could have just been curious.

Answer 10

Sounds like you handled it perfectly - you didn't let her get away with a tantrum, you removed her from the situation, let her get calmed down and then gave her a reward (going back in the store) for behaving in an acceptable manner.