I'm against hunting and my boyfriend is a hunter?

Question

ok I'm not the type of person to tell my guy what he can or can't do but I am strongly against hunting (and yes I do eat meat) but my whole thing is those are all ready dead when I get them and I'm not the one going out and killing them. I guess what I really have a problem with is someone who can go out and one day feed the ducks or look at the deer and then the next day want to take a gun to them. So I told my boyfriend just not to talk to me about it which obviously causes some problems because he wants to talk about it ALL the time. And I can't get it to not bother me. So...is there a way to come to an agreement. I mean I told him I'd even be fine if he just stuck with small game (I understand the bird population is crazy) but he refuses not to hunt big game. So stressed about it right now with it being hunting season please help?

Ok some of you are really mean! I'd rather have a bleeding heart then none at all! I LOVE my boyfriend and I would never ask him to give up something he loves whether we are married or not and I would never leave him for not giving it up. but there is nothing wrong with asking the person you love to try to meet you halfway on something. This doesn't make me a bad person. Also I'm not on PETA's side here and I guess I'm a hypocrit for eating meat but my problem wasn't with hunting itself but with the fact that I don't understand the wanting to hurt something. I eat meat I know it's a necessity but that doesn't mean I have to understand why the butcher chose his job! (Also people are overpopulated and dying of disease all over but does that mean we should start hunting the sick people!!) (sorry but I'm a little mad at some of the comments here)

Ok some of you are really mean! I'd rather have a bleeding heart then none at all! I LOVE my boyfriend and I would never ask him to give up something he loves whether we are married or not and I would never leave him for not giving it up. but there is nothing wrong with asking the person you love to try to meet you halfway on something. This doesn't make me a bad person. Also I'm not on PETA's side here and I guess I'm a hypocrit for eating meat but my problem wasn't with hunting itself but with the fact that I don't understand the wanting to hurt something. I eat meat I know it's a necessity but that doesn't mean I have to understand why the butcher chose his job! (Also people are overpopulated and dying of disease all over but does that mean we should start hunting each other!!) (sorry but I'm a little mad at some of the comments here)

Answer 1

I empathize with you and your dilemma.

It is certainly a difficult situation; however, don't let the hunters on this forum sway you from your convictions. To you it's wrong, and that's OK: there are many people who would agree that hunting is an antiquated and unnecessarily violent form of recreation.

This question really belongs on a relationship forum, not an outdoors one, and I think you should approach it from that perspective. You have asked for your boyfriend to modify a behavior that you find distasteful, and he has refused. Does he understand how important this matter is to you? Have you made it clear? Relationships are all about compromise. Make your convictions clear to your boyfriend, make sure he understands your perspective, and look for signs that he is willing to meet you halfway.

Answer 2

Boyfriend Hunting

Answer 3

I have got to tell you, (no offense) your reasoning makes absolutely no sense. You eat animals and you have no problem with hunting birds you just don't want him to hunt deer. It has no basis in rational thought.
You have 2 issues that I see from your post
1. You don't want him to hunt deer because they are cute and cuddly and you don't want to think about him killing something like that. You don't see birds that way so it is all ok. You ignore the fact that the hamburger you eat was raised in the most unnatural fashion imaginable and had probably the most miserable life and death an animal could have; but you're ok with that. But the thought of a deer growing up wild, living in it's environment, doing all the things a deer does right up until the instant the lights go out somehow bothers you.
2. You said you can't reconcile the idea of him feeding the ducks then wanting to hunt an animal. You are seeing some duality that really isn't there. You are equating a respect for nature and an understanding that we as humans use animals to survive with some kind of dual life we see in the movies about sociopaths and killers. In the movies, we see people all the time who can function in society while hiding the dark underbelly of their sociopathic needs. What you have to remember is there is NOTHING wrong with harvesting game to use as sustanence. It is how it is supposed to work. Your boyfriends enjoyment of hunting and his appreciation of animals (feeding the ducks) are not mutually exclusive. When the situation is right, he loves animals (feeding the ducks) and when the situation changes, he still loves animals (hunting to control population, stop illness in deer, make the herd stronger, etc.)

You should go on a hunt with him and experience the emotions first hand.

Answer 4

He's able to be responsible. Our society is rather mixed up about these things right now, but enough old-fashioned values linger that you still get a pass for being female.
If you eat it, it has to die first. It's "already dead" because somebody makes it that way. If your boyfriend can take responsibility for that, he's to be commended. If you have to hire somebody to do your killing for you, which is what really is happening whenever you buy chicken at the grocery, we'll forgive you, though it is a little bit of a character flaw that you should recognize in yourself.
If you understand the bird situation, let me tell you about deer in my state. In the 1920's, the deer population was only a few thousand. Hunters pushed to restock, developed rules and regulations, asked for a state game commission and taxes, and did everything to support their well-being. Now the population is vibrant and healthy, and hunting keeps it so, and there are more deer than humans in the state.

Answer 5

Ok, if you would just get educated about the ethics of hunting, you would realize that you are being a big hypocrit. You eat meat that lives in little cages it's whole life, and think that's ok? Are you serious? Hunting big game is way more moral than supporting industrial meat. You should either go vegetarian, or let your boyfriend bring home some lean, organic, toture-free meat.

Answer 6

So, what your saying is that you have no problem hiring assassins to do your 'dirty work'? You don't mind eating meat as long as someone is hired to kill it for you. But you were asking about your 'relationship' weren't you, not your personality.
Right now, while you are still trying to "hook the fish" you allow him to hunt, and you will stick your head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist, right? But I would venture a guess that as soon as you have your claws into him, He will be Grounded from the sport he loves and you hate.
Other than making an appointment with Dr. Phil, I would recommend you move on and not ruin this guys sporting life.
But I'm just making a SWAG here.

Answer 7

Well, you have to ask yourself if he is the right guy for you. If you are not married and are already having this big of a difference of opinion on something that is important to each of you, maybe now is the time to cut your losses. Whatever you do, DO NOT marry him until you find out if this can be resolved to the satisfaction of both of you. DO NOT marry someone with the idea of changing them. It just ain't likely to happen and then you soon find yourselves dividing up the household and God forbid that you have had any children that have to suffer for your mistakes. I am an avid hunter and doubt if there is anyway that I could change. I imagine, from your description, that he is much the same so I would advise you to either accept him the way he is or cut your losses now 'cause he ain't likely to change.

Answer 8

Hunting is not just killing an animal.........hunting is a way of life for alot of people ,I love being in the outdoors and yes I harvest animals for food,hunting is a great tool to keep the population down ,if people did not hunt ,there would be no animals,they would get overpopulated ,and disease.......your boyfriend could be doing alot worst things than hunting,I'm not asking you to like hunting ,but don't make him choose between you and hunting or you may be hunting a new boyfriend

Answer 9

asking a hunter to give up hunting would be like asking a woman to give up talking. There is NO agreement that can be reached between these two apposing sides. You don't have to like killing an animal... seriously, taking an animals life can be a difficult thing to do for some people. If hunting is his passion and you also mean a great deal to him then it will probably hurt him to not be able to share that part of his life with you. There is no comparison between animal cruelty and hunting. He's not out there running down turkeys with his truck. If you are sensitive to it then it is just going to be hard to deal with, period. If you two have something special together then it wont be worth breaking up over, I don't see an agreement being reached... hunting is a part of life for some people.

Answer 10

You people out there need to stop empathizing and placating to this girl she needs to grow up and understand that this is the real world, not mary poppins fantasy land, she just needs to accept that fact and stop being a bleeding heart maybe what needs to be done with you isnot let you eat for a week and then the only way you can eat is something that you have to kill yourself!! Theres nothing wrong with hunting as long as you utilize the meat taken so suck it up and go hunting with him and become part of the experience I think you'll find it rather enjoyable just don't think about that poor poor little animal who cares! It's a hard life out here sister better get used to it

Answer 11

the population of birds are crazy so would every other species of game without adequate conservation (hunting) so instead of, lets use deer as an example, deer dying of chronic wasting disease, starvation, hit by a car say your car for instance. and suffering a slow painful death we control the population so these things don't happen as frequently. the problem is there aren't enough predators to keep large game populations in check we must hunt to do this now a days. the wildlife and conservation agencies from each state spend thousands of hours each year collecting data on species specific population and then set regulations and quotas in different zones of the amount of animals to be harvested and strictly enforce poaching laws to keep animal populations at an optimum level for the benefit of the animals themselves there is only so much foraging can be done per acre so when you exceed the limits of the land that population suffers severely starvation then becomes a problem . so would you rather the animal be taking by ethical hunters for a quick death or suffer due in large part to over population. let him hunt he is fulfilling his responsibility as a hunter in wildlife management