When I was 13 I made an oath to God that I would not have sex until I was married. I'm now 17. I haven't. In fact I haven't even kissed a guy yet. Lately though I've been wondering if maybe I should. I mean maybe then guys would go out with me. Maybe I would not have such a hard time finding a boyfriend or even a date. I know virginity is one special and to rare. And I'm not the type of girl that would just go out and do it with the first guy I saw. At the same time I have fears of one breaking and oath made to God and two regretting having sex if I'm not ready. Please if anyone has some good advice I would greatly appreciate it. I don't know where else to go. It's not like i can talk to any of the people that are around me. Thank you in advance to all of those who take time out to answer my question.
2007-11-04 17:11:54 · 46 answers · asked by casey p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i never made any oath to god but im saving myself for marriage, and please dont think just cause you go and have sex the person will love you more because if someone truley loves you sex wont matter they will love you anyway.. but you have to find the right person cause some guys will push and push and if you crack ur braking an oath but not only that but to a person who is the most imporatant in life God you should never break an oath with him especially... im not forcing you not to have it just because of the oath its ur decison but sex is so precious its something a girl can actually decide to keep on there own and alot of girls who loose it regret it and always do.. i hope i helped if u need anything else just private email me ill be glad to help.. good luck
2007-11-04 17:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by Found love... 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm eighteen, still a virgin and just waiting for the right person to come along. Your not alone, there is nothing wrong with wanting to wait for the right person. Their are too many people that have no feelings for each other having children together and then discarding the child. I believe what I do, not out of respect for god or wedlock, for I have little respect for either, but out of respect for the concept of love. I believe in love, pure and simple. Not carnal love, but more of a sensual love, a platonic love. The love you have for your family, or a good friend, and taken further the love you have for the single person you would be willing to spend the rest of your life with, given the choice. Sex before marriage isn't the problem, it is sex without passion, romance or love. Without those things it is simply a carnal act, no different then what your dog does to the mail mans leg. Whomever you decide to have sex with, and whenever that may be is solely up to you and nobody else. I am not going to criticize you for making a promise to god at such a young age, though I will say that you should have given it more forethought. However if your god is the way the bible (NT) says he is, I doubt he will hold it against you if you decide to deviate from a promise that you made when you were too young to be accountable for your words and actions.
I am not suggesting that you should go out and have sex right away. Nor am I suggesting that you remain abstinent until you marry someone. I merely suggest that you should give careful consideration to the person or persons you may choose to have sex with, should you choose to have sex. Also consider the impact of such a decision. What are the repercussions? What is the extent of your sexual knowledge? What precautions must be taken? and after all this do you still want to go through with it?
Call me a hopeless romantic if you if you like but I think sex is taken just a little too lightly these days.
Where's the love?
2007-11-04 17:41:36 · answer #2 · answered by hiwokakeru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As some of the other viewers said, saving sex until marriage puts you in the minority, but I am in the minority with you the only difference is, I'm 21. I always believed that sex should wait until marriage and I am planning on keeping it that way. I plan on waiting for the right guy and the right time. Another point that someone else made, kissing is not breaking your oath, neither is dating. Go out there and have fun just make sure you stick to your beliefs. Also, don't change yourself for other people. If you have to have sex with someone for them to notice you or go out with you, then you are doing it all for the wrong reasons. I say stick with your oath and your heart. If you feel like you should wait, then wait, don't let others make the decision for you.
2007-11-04 17:26:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Join a church or fellowship where you'll meet like minded folk and not have to put yourself in the way of temptation.
And don't rush into marriage too early.
These days with the cost of housing etc, you need to get a deposit happening and a career to obtain the sort of income to enable you to be elegable for a morgage so you can live comfortably in a home you can call your own.
Marriage before thirty or even thirty five tends to shortcut your financial preparations and set you back years. You have plenty of time on your promised schedule before you even dream of doing sex, or anything like it.
*Everyone is kind of saying the same thing here, so let me be the devils' advocate (sic) for a moment:
Temper this with the fact that if you wait until you're married, (circa 2020) that guy will be the ONLY guy you will ever have experiences of the loving kind with, and if you decide he's just not doing it right for you, and you have made a big mistake, what are you going to do then?
You've made a HUGE and important promise to someone or something you've never met face to face, about decisions that may change the rest of your life.
We wouldn't buy a car without first driving it, a house without going inside or a dress without trying it on.
How important a decision is finding the right life mate, without a test run to check that they are fully compatable?
You want to find out later he likes (insert mildly weird and outrageously annoying thing here) and you don't?
Welcome to the rest of your life.
Careful your girly promise doesn't send you blindly into something you will regret later.
Good luck.
Danny.
*switches off devils' advocate button*
PS>
You're seventeen, just starting out.
Nobody should be thinking they HAVE TO anything at that age.
Take it easy, enjoy life, and when the right guy comes along, you'll know.
Make your considered decisions then, and don't become fixated on a prepubescent girly thing that has obviously echoed down through the years and has the capacity to affect your now adult life.
(Ask yourself what you thought you were going to be when you grew up at that age, a nurse, teacher, astronaut? How did that work out)
Think carefully at each turn and make your decisions now as an adult, not as a thirteen year old.
After all, I would be a sheriff in tombstone chasing badguys right now. lol.
Cheers.
.
.
2007-11-04 17:29:39 · answer #4 · answered by Danny Dix 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah okay so i am just saying that, you took an OATH with God...last time i checked that means a promise. and i wouldnt want to break that promise. with God especially. and besides if you go on and have sex with a guy just so its easier to get other guys thats just very very shameful of you. thats not christianlike at all. and yes virginity is rare and even though there is a such thing as a second virginity that will NEVER be the same. remember its called a SECOND virginity that is saying that its not the FIRST but the SECOND and i think that you would gladly like first place in completing life. i like you have taken abstinence class when i was in 8th grade. and i can relate to you....i know its hard but just keep on with it....dont give up!!!
2007-11-04 17:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am 21 years old and I was once in your shoes. I grew up telling myself that I was going to be a virgin until I was married. I can remember being 17 and wondering why I didnt have a boyfriend like the rest of my friends. I just thought that there was something wrong with me. I didnt have my first REAL boyfriend until I was 17 years old (I had my first kiss then too). Im basically saying that its ok that you havent kissed anyone yet. There are a lot of temptations out there now a days and sex is one of them. Unfortunately I didnt keep my promise to myself but its not really anything that I regret becaue the person whom I shared that moment with was someone that I loved.
I dont think that it would be right for me to tell you not to have sex but I think that you should for sure wait. Wait until you find someone that you love with all your heart. I know I dont know you and this may come off weird but just ask anything else if you need some advice. I like to help people out when I can.
2007-11-04 17:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by jll 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's OK for you to be a virgin at 17. If you want to save yourself that fine. If you are wanting to give up your virginity just to get more dates that's not a good enough reason. If you are not ready for sex my advice would be no, don't have sex. You will know when you are ready. If you are not getting dates because you will not have sex, then the person or person's are not the people you should be dating. You want a guy to be interested in who you really are not what you can do for them, such as having sex with them.
2007-11-04 17:27:46 · answer #7 · answered by sandy b 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust me a guy will respect you alot more if you do not have sex in till your married. Most guys want to marry a virgin, I know this for a fact. Most girls regret the first time they have had sex anyway, why not wait till your married to have the best time of your life.
I am not big on Oaths but I understand that you are, I would not break one if I was committed to it like you are. Especially just to be popular with the guys. You will meet a guy that respects your beliefs and will not push you. I am sure every guy will test you if you will give it up. But I would Keep what you have its a wonderful thing.
2007-11-04 17:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by ptftball2006 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Trust me on this one... SEX DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! You think that you are gonna have sex and suddenly be this totally different person or feel more grown up or that people will see you differently. This doesn't happen... you have sex for the first time (and believe me it isn't even that enjoyable) and life goes on just the same as always. If you have made an oath you should keep it. You would be suprised at how many other girls have made the same choices as you... even though it feels like you are the only one. Plus, when you get older you will meet guys who will respect the fact that you've waited and see you as girlfriend material. Mature guys don't want a girl who has been around the block! Just wait it out and realize that when you are only 17 you should be worrying about yourself and not men!
2007-11-04 17:16:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
You sound very mature and level headed. I can also tell you have a good moral compass. And your at the age where you do start wondering about having sex (you probably have been wondering for a while now it's just ..now you wonder more often maybe?). I love that you that you have fears - it shows wisdom. I'm very impressed with your own insight into your problem. And I think you may have answered your own question. Dear, your not ready. Wait and God will let you know (right after the "I DO's")
Love,
a sister in Christ
good luck and God Bless
2007-11-04 17:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by 1mom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋