How can I get my boyfriend to last longer?

Question

We have been dating for 4 years now, and he just cant last in bed. Its difficult to tell him that it bothers me because I dont want to hurt his feelings. Iv read the other answers to this question and none of them deal with telling your man that he's not doing it for you. Iv tried to talk to him about it but he looks like a wounded deer in the head lights. He also acts like the 1 minute is enough. As if he has done his bit. How can he not know it's too short? I dont act or fake it, but at the same time its so hard to tell him. What can I do thats subtle? Or how can I tell him without crushing him? He is 28 and Im 25.

Iv tried the stop start and me on top and him on top and being drunk... Nothing seems to work.. Iv tried sex every day, adn sex once a month. Nothing helps...

Answer 1

Well from a guys point of view, try easing it in there when you are gonna tell him. Psychology works in situations like these. For instance: you like it when I do this right? Well tell me why can't you do this? Do you have a problem? It don't matter to me, cus we are what-ever you are, but do you think if you were to try this out it would be better for both of us? Lead him on that he is doing good, and then hit him with a negative. It's not like he's gonna get heart broken, cus if he does thats when you comfort him. But standing up and taking charge is what makes relationships stronger. So just remember that.

Answer 2

tough subject... I would try you on top and you controlling the speed. when it seems like he is going to go stop and just lay there for a bit and then continue to go in a little bit. You could try getting him drunk I am sure he will last longer then... There are also condoms that make you last longer, preformax from durex works well. If all else fails try talking to him and ask him to think about something else, because that's the only way to help.
I am nor sure how your sex is but my guess is he is on top and plugging away as fast as he can.. You prob just need to slow him down and get him to work with you. Also the more you have sex the longer it last. Try having sex a couple of times.

Good luck

Answer 3

Chickyboo - that's a cool "name"
you've been together 4 years - you've tried talking to him about it and he looks like a wounded deer? - I don't know how your relationship is otherwise, but it sounds to me like he may be a bit self centered - I'm not sure being subtle will do it. He has done HIS bit, so you either need to just be honest about it - I"d really love it if we could make love longer.................
or maybe try to extend the foreplay -
but you may need to just be blunt about it - tell him your not getting your needs met - don't tell him he's lousy - just that you need more stimulation.
I highly recommend extending foreplay - and getting him just about to *** and then stop - and then play around a little more - preferably w/him stimulating you before you actually have intercourse - sometimes it helps guys to almost ***, and then stop ......that's what I've been told...............but I'm a female so I could be wrong about that.
And I hope this doesn't violate any guidelines - just suggestions. The system starred my one 3 letter word. It could also be spelled w/4 letters.
Good luck and have fun.
added edit : How can a man make love to a woman for 4 years and not know she hasn't or rarely gets what she needs????????

Answer 4

Instead of telling him he sin't doing it for you, say you want to get a little more playful and creative with your lovemaking.

See if he will let you tie him up/cuff him to the bed so you can control the pace, and then show him what you want. Experiement with candles, toys, ice, chocolate body frosting, and whipped cream. Tease him, make him beg for it, and don't let him climax until you are satisfied.

Buy some kind of lover's game to help you experiment with more foreplay. Don't just have sex, make love, and make him wait to get inside you until you are almost ready to explode.

Telling him he isn't cutting it will hurt his feelings. Telling him you want to spend more time touching his body and kissing himevery where, and having him do the same to you should turn him on.

Answer 5

I think it might be too late. If you have waited four years to tell him he might be hurt even more that you waited so long to tell him. I would, it's embarrassing enough but to have you girlfriend come out and tell you after four years? That's a little harsh. You could try sitting him down and letting him know that you're there to support him and you wouldn't have stayed with him as long as you have if you didn't love him.

I wouldn't suggest lying about the desensitizing gel, the truth always manages to get out. If you are going to use it, tell him the truth.

Answer 6

u can but a de-sensitizer gel that makes him not as sensitive to the sensations that "gets him there" so quick. buy some and tell him u've heard it adds a really cool, new sensation to things. If he hasn't been getting the job done, then finds the way 2 get it done, if he cares about u, then when he see's how it affects u then, he will want to use it every time.

Answer 7

Just come out and tell him. Yes he'll be offended for a bit. Have suggestions on how to slow him down.

I've always gone though sex under the idea if I keep my woman happy in bed there'll be more sex than if I didn't keep her happy in bed.

Answer 8

It's really advisable to give him a condom.. and be on top.. you must stop if he is near for 15 to 20 sec.. then, start slowly... focus on your satisfaction.. if this doesn't work..

Make same gimmick.. do it under the table or under the bed.. tie him and put a blindfold.. etc..

Answer 9

Wrap a rubber band tight around the base of his penis, I guarantee he will last along time. Or you can squeeze his nuts hard when he is ready to come. If all fails find another man, you will never be happy with your sex life with him.

Answer 10

Don't listen to cyril. More than one condom is more likely to cause friction and rip. Try taking it easy. Stop every time he's about to finish, then start again.