5 year old started fire in bed room, how should I punish him?

Question

I am a single mother of twin boys that are 5. It was about 7:30 a.m. on sunday. My kids usually sleep in till about 9 or so. So I usually get up right before them. Well they woke up early. My littlest son desided to take my burse which I had right beside me and go through it in his room. He found my lighter, as my oldest one states what happened. " He started to burn a cryon and then he did it to the bed, but he tried to put it out." Since he couldn't put it out they came and got me up. They said the bed was on fire. I freaked, I grab a cup and then I grabed a bowl took as much water as a could. Anyways it ended up I ran and got my neighbor and he put it out with the hose.

After the fire was out I called my mom to comepick them up cause I didnt know what to do. My dad had him sit in one spot all day. Didn't get to do anything. But is that enough.he knows what he did wrong, but is there something else I should do? I just need some insight, on what i should do next?

Answer 1

First of all the punishment was enough in my opinion. That is a pretty big punishment for a 5 year old. I agree with lots of other people on this. Educate him. For example, I live in a pretty safe town. But we were at a fire works show and my 10 year old wandered off with his cousin. He got a spanking, but I think the most effective thing was on the way home, we stopped at Wal-Mart and just showed him and his younger brother the pictures of all the kids that were missing and had a long talk with them about the dangers and did what we could to scare them into not doing it again. Odds are the fire scared your son up pretty good.

Where I don't really agree with some other people is the advice to put it out of a 5 year olds reach and that will solve the problem. Yes, it may help some to put it out of his reach, but if he is anything like my boys, HE WILL FIND A WAY to reach it if he wants it.

I think the best thing is to teach him that you understand that he is curious about how things such as fire works, but the next time he wants to know how something works to come to you and you will explain or show him. you should let him know just what could have happened. And also teach him about fire safety. Be sure that you do let them know that they did the right thing by coming to get you, but next time there is an emergency they should not try to fix it themselves first they should come get you immediately.

Answer 2

Geez, the kid was probably scared to death by the fire, plus already had a way too long time out. That's plenty of punishment. Stop punishing and start educating about fire, how quickly it can spread, and what to do if there is one. Sounds like he didn't know what to do. Do you have smoke alarms? How come it didn't go off??? Check your alarm batteries and make sure you have smoke alarms ... they can save all your lives. Have a practice fire drill. Make sure he knows to get out of the house right away. Teach him about crawling under the smoke, feeling a door to see if it's hot before he opens it, having a meeting place outside, and what to do if a fire traps him in his room. Teach him about 911. Do not ever ever leave a lighter or matches in a place where a curious 5-year-old can get to them. Go to your fire station and have a firefighter talk to him (they'd be glad to if they're not in the middle of an emergency). Give him a hug and tell him you're glad everybody was okay this time, but he could get really really hurt if he ever did that again.

If it happens again (which it shouldn't, if you're keeping fire sources where he can't get them), talk to your pediatrician about whether he needs to talk to a counsellor. Some kids do get obsessed with fire. But probably this first time it was just normal 5-year-old curiosity.

Answer 3

If he grew to become into ok final twelve months and all this began at appropriate to the comparable time the 13 twelve months previous moved in, i might say it is your reason, not upload/ADHD. He went from being the eldest to the midsection infant and lost some necessary interest alongside the way. In his innovations, undesirable interest remains greater constructive than no interest. this is advisable to take a seat and communicate with him approximately what he's feeling. permit him comprehend which you already know his international has replaced some and which you already know his frustration, yet that behaving badly won't help him. tell him that the two one among you may artwork collectively to strengthen his habit and the quantity of particular time you spend with in basic terms him - Make it a team deal and spot how that is going. stay not common while he misbehaves, yet be beneficial to reward him while he does nicely too - beneficial reinforcement is a smart gizmo.

Answer 4

First, you are the mother, it is not up to your parents to decide how to punish your kids. They need to know that you are in charge, and that you are strong enough to teach them right from wrong.

Next, I don't think punishments are a good idea at that age, at least not for something like this. You can't just tell him he was bad, because he won't understand why. The last thing you want is for the kids to hide something like a fire from you because they think you will be angry. You have to explain to both your sons why playing with fire is dangerous.

Answer 5

Five year olds understand but need to have things explained to them. You need to tell him it isn't ok to play with matches or a lighter. They understand a logical punishment to the child's action like cleaning up mess, replacing whatever burnt, and talking to a firefighter to find out how bad fires can really be. I work with five year olds so what I say is only what I have used there maybe other and better thoughts.

Answer 6

Rather than punishing him, you should educate him. Call your local fire department and tell them what happened. Ask them if they have any "fire safety" programs coming up soon that you and your sons could attend. They should learn how dangerous fire is rather than being punished. Who better to teach it to them than a firefighter?! Thank goodness everything and everybody was OK. Remember to keep things like that out of their reach and/or locked up in a safe place.

Answer 7

I would find an appropriate fire video for your childrento watch. When my oldest son was young he would take off his seatbelt in the car. I found a video that showed what would happen, of course it was with dummies. it worked.

Answer 8

First of all, keep your purse and all matches out of your boys reach. You should take away something that he values for a week, such as TV time. It sounds like your son could also benefit from seeing a counselor to rule out other issues.

Answer 9

you need to lock your matches and lighters up at night. take them to the fire house for a fire safety lesson then get yourself some parenting lessons. you should have heard them up if they took something from beside you. that boy needs his backside torn up for that. and grounded for a week nothing fun no tv no toys. school work and bed and of course meals.

Answer 10

Your kids are 5 years old. It is YOUR responsibility to keep them safe. You can't rely on them to not touch things that can cause them harm, so it's up to you to ensure these things are OUT OF REACH. Your purse by your bedside isn't out of reach. Please learn from this experience and remove any potentially dangerous devices that may be within their reach, and talk to your kids about such dangers. Putting them in corners is good punishment, but ultimately, teaching them about being safe will be the best thing you can do for them.