Interracial dating and older man?

Question

I'm 30 years old Asian woman dating a 48 years old causcasion. We have been good friend for 2 years and he aways been there for me. We started dating and we become more than friend. I'm concern with our age gap and our race. My parent are old fashion and I know they will not accept it because they want me to date my own race. The age gap doesn't help either. Any suggestion?

Answer 1

The ages should make no difference at all.

the race thing is still a problem in some areas but it is getting better and more accepted. If your parents are old fashioned and oriental you will be fighting an uphill battle, and you already said it, "They will not accept it..."

You may have to make a decision whom is more important over all, your parents and tradition or your feelings for this man. It is a very hard decision to make I know but you may have to give up one or the other.

Answer 2

You have to keep in mind that you parents want what is the best for you. Some people thinks that dating someone of a different race can be a problem because society do not treat all races the same way. Some people also thinks that it would be an issue if the interracial couple has kids. But I think it is a personal choice, the color of the skin has nothing to do with the qualities of a person. I understand that for your parents can be a concern because of the gap between the age and the traditions of different backgrounds, but I truly believe that it is your choice, if you feel he is the right one for you, then do not let something like the color of the skin or the years to be in the way of true love and happiness.
You will have to help your parents to know him and to see he is a good man and that you will be ok.
It is for sure not a simple situation, but the ultimate question would be, is it worth it? Is he worth it? Is this realtionship worth fighting for?
In a world where true love and meaningful happiness are rare treats, is this man the one that will take you by the hand and guide you to it?
If the love is real and the person is worth any sacrifices, then what else matters?
I wish you the best! =)

Answer 3

The difference between 30 and 48 is not that great. My father was at least 13 years older than my mother and they loved each other always. I have a Chinese friend whose father is 30 years older than her mother and no one seems to see the difference in age as a problem. I think that you have to be yourself. You are not your mother or your father and you don't have to think the way that they do. On a certain level age is an illusion. It's just a number. As far as inter-racial couples are concerned, I see inter-racial couples all the time. This is not the same world that your parents grew up in. There are enough barriers between people. Why do we have to get involved in artificial barriers? You have to know what's in your own heart. You're 30 years old and no longer a child. You don't need to seek out your parents approval. If your parents love you and I'm sure they do, then they will learn to accept a non Asian boyfriend in your life. From what I've seen, it seems to be very acceptable in Asian cultures for the man to be a lot older than his wife. At your age a 14 year difference in age is no big deal. The real question is do you have a problem being with a caucasian man? Are you happy with this man? Why are you making a big deal about the age difference? What do you want? What is your heart telling you? I have a Japanese woman friend whose husband is Polish. They have a beautiful son who is four months old now. I have a Jewish friend who is in his 60's and recently married a Chinese woman who is in her 30's. I can tell you for a fact that they are very much in love and very happy together. This is a new world and all kinds of barriers are coming down. Be happy! Be strong! and know what is in your own heart.

Answer 4

Um my suggestion would be to realize that you are 30 yrs old and no longer need your parents approval. I'm going to assume you are on your own paying your own bills. W/ that being said, I also understand that we as "children" all want acceptance from our parents, but at the same time you cannot give into what they want and the expense of your own happiness. If they are upset, they will get un- upset if you will, my mom used to always say when someone was angry "the same clothes they got mad in, they get glad in"! So no it will not go over well , what do you do? Go over to their house one day when you know they will both be home. Sit them down and tell them the deal. If they give you the ultimatum, then I say be a woman and stand on yours. They will come around, if they don't. . . . . .you will have to decide whether you want to wait for around to become attracted to an asian man to make your parents happy or do you want to be w/ that man that is here for you and makes you happy even though he is not asian. That is easier said than done, I know, you see my sweetie. My mom can't stand the fact that my bf (and they have always been white) is white, it makes her blood boil. But I don't care, I do what is best for me because I am living MY life not her. You have to do what 's best for you, and believe it or not only YOU know what that is. . . .

Answer 5

Hi

You are 30 yrs old. You are old enough to make your own decisions about your love life. It sounds like you really care about this guy so age and race should not matter. Do you really want to give up the love of your life just because your parents wont accept it. It also sounds to me that you have not given your parents a chance to accept it yet. I really think you should introduce him to your parents so you can give them a chance to see how much you care about him and that he is a good guy. Its might not be easy at first but your parents may come around when they see how much you care about each other. I know your parents love you and just want what they think is best for you but sometimes we have no control who we fall in love with.

Answer 6

a double whammy huh? Let me tell you a story. 30 years ago, i was a 17 year old white girl from a very small farming community in central Indiana (can we say KKK) that fell in love and married a 36 yr old black man from the big city. My parents disowned me. This was devistating for me at first. I almost left my husband and children to go back into the family fold. But after some very deep soul searching, i realized that my family didn't love me. Real true love is unconditional. So I don't care who it is, siblings, parents, friends, family, if they put conditions on their love for you, then they don't love you anyway, so not only would you be caving into their wants you would be going back to family who are selfish and racists. You have to do what makes you happy.

Answer 7

age is just a number,, if your parents wants what's best for you,, then they should want to see you happy! if your in a loving and stable relationship with someone, it shouldn't matter what an outside opinion will give you,,, not even your parents! Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is unconditional, and if ANYONE places conditions on love its no longer love,, it's control. And, at 30,, you control your own life and decisions, so make a decision for yourself and stick with it.

Answer 8

if you can't be your own person and stand up to your parents then stop seeing him. There is nothing wrong with the age gap and there is nothing wrong with dating or marrying different race so if you can't deal with it then stop the relationship now and go be with your own kind.

Answer 9

Follow your heart.I say love is blind colour-blind,and there is nothing wrong with Interracial dating and older man.Just do what u want to do.Maybe u can have a good talk with your family,I think they all hope u happy.I once told my family that i want to marry my wife who i met on interracialmatch.com,i also met some problems,but i never give it up,and now i'm in a happy life

Answer 10

Im a supporter of interracial dating/marraiges being a black woman(almost 23) who is with a white guy (28), however I dont really like the idea of older guys and younger women going together. It kinda icks me out.