we broke up because i said i was unsure how i felt but maybe it would work later. I hook up with a new girl. That didnt go well ex was mad. My ex cuts contact and removes all our photos from her facebook. I ask her why and she said she cant live for "maybe" and deserves someone who knows how they feel and I should remove the photos too. She said its too hard to be friends but she wants to move on. isnt she being a little pessimisitc and overreacting?
2007-11-04 15:29:10 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, she is right move along.
2007-11-04 15:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not necessarily a jerk. But it sounds like you cut loose, got a new girl, but still want the ex as a "back-up" date. Won't work, friend. It's OK to feel unsure, but NOT cool to want to double-dip. Do you believe it's ok to date different people at the same time? Does SHE? if not, then there's the conflict. If she DID date someone else, would YOU be mad or jealous? If so, then you're a jerk, if not, then you just want to try out more relationships. I would guess you're not over 20 years of age, right? There's nothing particularly permanent about early relationships, but you must be prepared to let the other know your feelings on THAT up front. Could be what's bothering her, she's a monogamist, and you're a polygamist seeker right now. So, resolve that, and maybe you can patch it up, if not, move on.
If you like the photos, keep them...it's YOUR Facebook, and memories, no reason to dump them...she may just be testing to see if you TRULY want to dump her, or will keep them. Do what you FEEL is right, and go from there. You can tell her you're keeping them for the positive side of your relationship.
Could be she's a Clinger. Don't know. Sounds more like she's hurting, and is just reacting emotionally. Let her lash out some, and don't take it too personally, she needs to let it out. Then she may change her mind and give you some space for awhile.
Bottom line is, nothing is permanent in youth, and relationships can come and go. Some take it more seriously sooner than others, and this is one of those adjustment periods you both are going thru. Hope it works out for you both.
- The Gremlin Guy -
2007-11-04 23:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I kind of have to side with your ex---at least on the moving on--seems you have done so by dating someone new--did you want her to wait and see if your feelings will change for her?? your comment about not knowing how you felt but maybe later it will work--that was probably not the best choice of words however honest you ment them to be--I think the term Jerk--was a bit harsh--but you need to just let her go--no strings --and as far as your photos that is your business--not hers--she can do as she pleases and you do the same--let some time go by and she will more than likely be glad to become friends--she is just very hurt just now by your rejection--who wouldn't be--walk in her shoes--how would you feel if she had told you these things??
2007-11-04 23:39:25 · answer #3 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No she's not...actually she is doing it really well if you ask me....she's taking the adult approach...my boyfriend of two years said the exact BS to me and it is hard to move on and go from couple to just friends especially when the guy moves on and you are still at the hurting level...she sees it as you have moved on so why is she being the idiot and waiting around for you to *maybe * come back...i did the same with my ex...i started putting my life back together actually started seeing other guys having fun ...at first i was like how am i going to make it through this...cause girls have more emotion tied up to relationships most of the time...and slowly each morning i would wake up and be like oh that is how i make it through..one day at a time...and soon i was hardly thinking about our past ...i realized other guys would be intrested in me other than him...she will too ...good for her but *maybe* bad for you if you end up like my ex...he was so use to me tryin to be back with him and whatnot that when i quit calling him and telling him i still cared that it freaked him out into thinking about how he felt...he called one night out of the blue i was on my way out on a date.. it was hell and i dont envy your ex...i am now back with my ex...it took him a long long time to get me to listen and everything...not a day goes by that he doesn't say something about how lucky he feels that i did eventually let him back in....my advice to you is to take a step back and decide if you can handle just being friends with her...watching and knowing she is dating some other guy be it someone you know of or some new guy..because once you get into the *friend* zone thats all you can do is watch her date guys because you have no say in the matter...good luck and no offense intended to you but when you love some one there is no maybe ...its either yes or no
2007-11-04 23:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got two options:
Decide that you want to be with her. This means telling her that you were a little scred/confused, but your time apart has made you realize how much you care about and want to be with her. This also involves buying lots of flowers.
You still want to see other people. She wants to cut contact, and you should respect this (delete the photos off myspace). Maybe in the future you can be friends again (or not), but the wounds are too fresh now.
The option that does not exist is to see other people but remain friends with her. It would be nice, but it ain't gonna happen in this case.
2007-11-04 23:36:28 · answer #5 · answered by jglick1999 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually she did right.
You said you were unsure about your feelings and you went and started a relationship with other woman.
Wow figure it out how could you possibly know what your feelings would be for her when you just up and picked up with someone else.
You obviously didnt care for her. She did what all grown women do when a man still acts like a child....They move on with their lives and don't waste anymore of their time on the past.
No she's not overracting.
2007-11-04 23:38:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i think she is reacting fine since you broke up with her she is trying to move on with her life and the only way she can do that is buy getting rid of the "memories" so she can get over you and move on with her life when you are in a relationship you should know where you stand from the beginning and let the person you are going out with know that you are not wanting a serious relationship at the moment so they wont get there feelings hurt in the end and so on well hopes this helps
2007-11-04 23:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by Jane M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how long you guys were together. It is never easy doing the let me make sure thing but when there is true love involved it really hurts and once the trust goes out the window it is just like a souffle in the oven going POOF and its all over.
2007-11-04 23:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by Allison from Puerto Rico 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least she was being honest about how she felt and not be the type that waits around for your love. Of course she had hard feelings and was taking it out on you who was also being honest but should have kept that information to yourself for a while. Be apart and don't call her for a while and if she misses you she will call, if not then move on.
2007-11-05 13:16:50 · answer #9 · answered by howard.gilman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think how she feels is understandable. Some people are not able to stay friends. She was honest "its too hard to be friends". And yes we do deserve (everyone does) to be with someone who truly wants to be with them. If you can't offer this, it is actually healthy for her to want to find someone that cares about her instead of just waiting for something that might never happen.
2007-11-04 23:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by Peter 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's not overreacting. Women want security and don't settle for maybes. We want to feel special and not just be someone to a guy we really care about.
2007-11-04 23:33:16 · answer #11 · answered by Cryptic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋