Evil stepdaughter I heve one ,too?

Question

English is my second language please for give my bad English.
She constantly makes problems.And She dislike her mom mom,too.She wants to stay with us.She is 15.
She tells a lot of lies hard to trust her.
But every week some thing happens.
Of course I up set and say to her father to teach her !
But always end up I got alot alot alot of bad wards form him mainly It means I am the one making things worth ...and she got non these punch of the words.
I really wondered why?
Only one guess I can make is he loves his daughter very much. May be more then his wife.
If I said that he deny it but I can't believe it!
I am so unhappy and I have night mare at night..I love my husband but very close to my limit!
Last week the cash in may wallet vanished..
What I can do this situation....

Answer 1

Children always come first, always. I'm not saying the child is always right, but between a child and a spouse the child always comes first.
I would sit down and have a serious talk with your husband and ask him what he expects from her, tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels about the way he is treating the both of you. Once you come to a solid conclusion as to what you expect from this child then you need to sit down with the girl and set clear expectations and punishments that will happen if the expectations are not met.

Answer 2

Kids always come first,,,,,however, the step parent step child role is the hardest relationship you will ever be in. I have been in that role for 3 yrs, her mom is totally in the picture which is awesome, however i always feel like I am under a microscope, I don't care how much people say, well you need to put up with it, that is crap, its your house also, take control back. No she isn't your bio child, but treat her as such, and if she doesn't like it she can live with her mom. It is your job to keep her safe and provide her needs NOT be her scape goat. Best of luck to you, and yes your husband does love his daughter more than you , the love is different, you need to accept that. She doesn't have a right to walk all over you.

Answer 3

OK, first of all, you dont have to make any excuses for your English. It's perfectly fine. But your real problem is your new family. I am beginning to imagine the horrible scenario that you have to endure. Maybe your stepdaughter just wants more attention. She's jealous of you because you're the new woman in the house. Your husband is obviously in denial of what his daughter is doing. It may just be his way of making up to his daughter. OK... First thing, maybe you have to have an open-heart talk with your husband. Lay you cards out. But DONT nag him into choosing between you and his daughter, that is the biggest mistake you could make. And ALSO NEVER push him into punishing his daughter for whatever she is doing. Also, you have to listen. Try to be more accomodating of your stepdaughter. Maybe you could exert more effort in making her feel more welcome to your household. Be more like a friend to her. It's not easy having a stranger as a new mother figure. Adolescents doesn't react well to this kind of setup. Be more like a friend rather than some authority figure. Maybe this could help. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

This kid is going to take advantage of the situation for as long as she can. Her dad is in denial right now. You know the kid is hurting and she is lashing out. You are the one reminder that her dad will never go back to her mom, and things will never be the same. Take her in for counseling if you must.

* You need to take a few steps to halt the theft... like putting a deadbolt lock on your bedroom door, or at least on your closet door to turn that closet into a safe. Wear the key around your neck.

* You can try to tape record her behavior... perhaps install some small remote PC cameras and have them feed into your computer at home, or set up a video-camera on a counter if you suspect an on-coming fight. Such evidence can help to get her dad out of denial and start to get you two on the same page regarding this kid.

* Truth is, you only have 4 years to teach this kid all the basics of how to get along in the world... traits like self-control, diplomacy, respect, responsibility, ethics, morals. If you have to, it is reasonable to use any means possible to instill the lessons... including the occasional slap on the face or spanking. Her rebellion can easily get worse than sassing you and stealing from you... don't wait until she gets on drugs, goes to jail, or comes home pregnant.

* You and your husband need to spell out that you are providing her with a home, clothes, food and the opportunity for an education. You really don't ask a lot in return... go to school, do the studies, get good grades, stay out of trouble, behave in a civilized manner, pick up after herself and do the few paltry chores assigned to her. It isn't much to ask for respect, either.

* You will probably have to use the ol' "carrot-and-stick" approach on her. If she behaves reasonably, she gets some kind of treat... trip to the mall, movies with friends, sleepovers... whatever. If she behaves like a brat, she gets something taken from her... her freedom, her iPod, or whatever gets the message across.

* She may be testing you in any number of ways to see how far she can push your buttons. You can't allow her to play you. You have to be the adult and the authority figure.

Answer 5

Ok, first of all, even though you may not like your stepdaughter, she is his daughter, and of course he probably loves her more than he loves you. Second, you are the adult, so you need to stop trying to fight her for her father's attention and start acting like a mother would act like. What you are doing is not in your favor. As for the money, make sure she took it and not someone else, then if you can prove it, ask him to get it back from her and start keeping your money in a locked place that she cannot get to.

Answer 6

She is not a small child, her dad should be the one to help her.
If she wants to live with you, she must follow your rules. It is your house. She must respect you and home. Your husband should be on your side or the problem will still be there. If he does not believe you then he is not a good father. Tell you husband about the missing cash and have him talk to his daughter.

Answer 7

i think of people are being too confusing on the lady. i do no longer understand precisely what she's dealing with, yet i understand that if my dad have been given a clean lady buddy(my mothers and dads are divorced besides, for as long as i will undergo in techniques), i might probable hate her. it is common teenage behaviour, perhaps you may desire to spend greater time together with her, act such as you prefer to be friends, do never attempt and be the bigger man or woman, this might make her even worse. i'm thriteen.

Answer 8

I dont think you will change your husbands mind. Let the girl run wild and get herself in trouble. Maybe she needs to. Just be ready to help them when it all goes wrong. Let the girl know that she can always come to you, let the father handle the discipline or lack of it. Otherwise you will always lose.

Good luck.

Answer 9

in ANY situation involving children...children ALWAYS come before a spouse. they are your flesh and blood..it's a known fact they'll be number one. He probably yelled at you because he feels you have no right to yell at HIS daughter that isn't even yours. I understand where you're coming from. A longggggg time ago my mother had this issue with my step sister and my step father. Tell him that he either needs to handle his thieving, lying, manipulating daughter, or you're out the door. You shouldn't have to put up with her pettiness badazz just for him.

Answer 10

There are always problems with the child who has step mom or step father. of course she is a child and immature . dont have harsh feelings against her . i know its very difficult to do in practice but for a fortnight treat her as ur own child ignoring her deeds as childish iam sure ur husband will come closer to u. dont compare ur hubbys love for her with u . it will make things worst. it is in ur hand try AND MAKE UR HOME --- A HOME SWEET HOME