I'm about ready to give up. I've been rejected by about 15 different girls. My confidence is in the toilet. I'm a nice guy, and I don't understand why no one will even give me a chance. Girls have laughed at me, lied to me, and just flat out rejected me when I've asked them out, and these were girls that I thought I was friends with. I am good looking, even though I'm somewhat on the chubby side. I've fallen in love and had my heart broken many times. Some say they just want to be friends, but I have friends, and I'm not looking for more. There's a void in my life I need to fill, I need to be in a relationship. I need someone to think I'm number one, to be excited to see me, to feel for me what I feel for them. I've been through a suicidal phase, and the only thing that got me through it was the thought that I have a very bright future ahead of me. I've never kissed, never gone on a date, never had a girlfriend. I just want to know, what's wrong with me? What am I supposed to do?
2007-11-04 13:58:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm about ready to give up. I've been rejected by about 15 different girls. My confidence is in the toilet. I'm a nice guy, and I don't understand why no one will even give me a chance. Girls have laughed at me, lied to me, and just flat out rejected me when I've asked them out, and these were girls that I thought I was friends with. I am good looking, even though I'm somewhat on the chubby side. I've fallen in love and had my heart broken many times. Some say they just want to be friends, but I have friends, and I'm not looking for more. There's a void in my life I need to fill, I need to be in a relationship. I need someone to think I'm number one, to be excited to see me, to feel for me what I feel for them. I've been through a suicidal phase, and the only thing that got me through it was the thought that I have a very bright future ahead of me. I've never kissed, never gone on a date, never had a girlfriend. I just want to know, what's wrong with me? What am I supposed to do? Im 16
2007-11-04 14:06:55 · update #1
You seem like an awesome guy, the kind most girls crave for. The key is to express those qualities in the perfect package instead of dumping them all over the place. When you meet a girl you like, don't be too eager to show her you like her. That scares most girls away. Girls like a little bit of a challenge... it's more fun and seems more worth it. Instead, show her your confidence and just be relaxed and nice. Ask her to hang out... but to something cool and fun... like a concert or comedy club. This will lessen the tension and shows your fun to hang out with. Always do interesting things... and slowly let her know about your interests, life, etc. When you do things at the right pace, girls will melt. When your too sweet in the beginning, it feels clingy and needy. We like to be clung to and needed.... just at the right time, if you get my drift. Good luck :)
2007-11-04 14:07:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe, you're a little on the dry side. If you look like Brad Pitt, that's probably the only time girls won't care about your personality. Although, from the way you make it seems, if i were you, i would just go for girls, that maybe i wouldn't have gone for before. Saying all that, i do question your mental toughness(e.g. suicidal phase). You might be a nice guy but you might give the wrong vibe to girls though. The only thing i would do if i were you, is go to the gym more. When i say go to the gym, i mean, that's a good way for you to let out your frustration, and before you know it, you'll probably look and feel a lot better. Also, you could also find a sport you enjoy and play it a lot, which can also help you get your frustration out. Good luck though!
2007-11-04 14:10:45 · answer #2 · answered by NBL 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get to know the person first before deciding to ask them out, not random "out of your league" girls because it's obvious that you will be rejected. Also, if you have a bad first impression when asking girls, they will usually reject you. You should take some time to find the right girl for you. Remember, being in a relationship is not the only priority in your life. Girls your age tend to be very shallow, so they tend to be mean to guys if you aren't hot or popular. As you grow older, girls will start to realize that they want guys who have a personality.
Anyway, good luck with the future girls.
2007-11-04 14:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by =P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am decades older than you, but I'll still answer. Your question really made me sad. I was kind of the same way in high school - attractive, smart, nice, but a little chubby. And none of the guys ever really wanted me. I think if you just keep on being you, some girl will notice you and like you and want a relationship with you. I am positive of it. Women want a man who is nice, smart, and has a good future. Just keep your chin up, keep being you, and you will find a good girlfriend. Did you ever think that these girls that slighted you weren't worthy of you?
2007-11-04 14:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by Kate J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude.......
I will give you a baseball analogy.
Mickey Mantle was a baseball player who played for the Yankess in the old days (the 1950's and 60's). He struck out alot and people asked him why this was so.
His reply was that he was trying to hit a homer on EACH at bat. He of course didn't hit a homer in each trip to the plate, but he hit a lot of them.
The moral to the story is this......KEEP SWINGING and don't walk back to the dugout. So what you got rejected 15 times. You will most likely get rejected a lot more, but the key is to embrace failure and learn from it. You will hit many homers, but you can't hit them sitting in the dugout.
Keep swinging.
2007-11-04 14:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by The Hard Truth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? It can be rough. I never had a serious a serious relationship until I met my wife when I was 23. If you are older than 18 maybe you should try a website like match.com. At least you know that the girls are also looking for a relationship. Good luck.
2007-11-04 14:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by thedude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do two things: 1) keep trying. If you haven't yet found what you're looking for, and you know it's out there, then go get it, and don't stop until you do, and 2) think carefully about what you're offering women. If you can offer genuine companionship and respect, then women will gravitate to you naturally. If you're looking for a possession, then they'll behave in the way you're describing. I hope this helps you.
2007-11-04 14:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by DayinthePark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joey, don't worry about it. Maybe you don't need to date. There probably isn't anything wrong with you, its just the girls you asked out. But just remember that Jesus Christ can fill that void and is the only one that will never break your heart.
2007-11-04 14:08:23 · answer #8 · answered by Ethan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How old are you? Your time will come.
"There's a void in my life I need to fill, I need to be in a relationship."
That should never be your main goal in life. You'll only get hurt.
Not everyone is going to like you. On the other hand, not everyone can possibly hate you.
2007-11-04 14:00:46 · answer #9 · answered by scary mary 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's your approach. It could also be where you are looking for the girls.
I would suggest emulating someone who is successful at dating and also someone that is similar in personality to you. Modeling behavior is a good way to achieve success.
2007-11-04 14:02:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋