My Mom cheated on my Dad. Now we don't know what to do?

Question

My mom cheated on my dad after 23 years of marriage. I understand why my mom cheated; my dad isn't the nicest guy, nor does he always treat her well. But now he's heartbroken and he shows it. My brother and I are both very confused, very nervous. Where does our family go from here?

Answer 1

First of all I know you and your brother are hurt an confused, but this is something your mom and dad have to figure out for themselves. The only thing you can do is still love them both the same, just because your mom cheated doesn't make her an worse of a mother to you and your brother, so you two shouldn't treat either parent differently.

Maybe your mom has just had enough, not to ay that makes it okay, but maybe its her time to move on. Or maybe some marriage counseling would work!

I know its hard but they are the ones in the relationship, not you and your brother, so just be patient and understanding!

Answer 2

The very first thing I want to say is that this is NOT YOUR FAULT or the fault of your brother.
That your Dad is heartbroken is a CONSEQUENCE for his choice to not treat your Mom well. He is NOT THE VICTIM here, Sweetie....
I,too, understand why your Mom would be unfaithful but I dont agree with the choice to cheat.
Where does your family go from here? This is an adult issue that your parents need to work out....this is not something that you and your brother need to try to solve.
If the 2 of you need support, ask to see a councilor at school. As I see it, your only responsibility is to tell your parents how you feel . You are probably feeling very afraid that they may break up? Let them know that and tell them you want to talk to an objective person. If they dont support that, then go anyway.....and if there is any violence in your home.....RUN, RUN, RUN as fast as you can to the councilor. HUGS

Answer 3

You are going to get a bunch of answers excusing your mom or saying it was somehow your father's fault. That's a cop out. If the marriage is that bad then it needs to end before you run around cheating on your mate.

As for what to do, just love them both and try not to take sides. This is their battle. The relationship between you and each parent has nothing to do with the relationship between tyhem.

Answer 4

Ask your dad a hypothetical query. Say, "Dad, there is this minister who has a 40 3 year old spouse and 5 childrens, 3 sons and a couple of daughters. The minister's spouse is cheating on him, and the two between the daughters have considered it. Do you think of I (oops, I mean the oldest daughter) could desire to tell you (oops lower back, I meant 'the minister') ?"

Answer 5

A man is always sad and heartbroken when he realizes that he didn't take the time to appreciate his wife, but don't ask what do "we" do, "THEY" need to figure it there the adults who made those decisions you should just focus on being you and keeping your sanity and being there for both of them should they need your ears to just talk even though the talking should be between both of them, maybe if they would have done that it could have prevented your mother looking somewhere else.

Answer 6

I've been there, done that. It sucks, but what are you going to do.

What I did. My mom and dad put the house up for sale, split the money and each bought their own house.

I helped my dad move and I helped my mom move.

You need to encourage him to get THERAPY to help him through this. He will be depressed. BUT, you are NOT A THERAPIST and it is not helpful for you to try to be his therapist.

Also, you may need a therapist yourself if you get depressed. I didn't get any, but I was in a daze for a couple of months.

Answer 7

i dont know alll the details but it sounds like yor dad took your mother for granted andyour mom found somebody else that would treat her better. maybe your dad your take some classes on how to be a nice person and treat people with kindness and love.

Answer 8

gosh, this is sad that for unknown reasons you know and are involved. this should be between them two not you two. it takes two and not 1 more or whatever. there are reasons and its sad. well she probably got fed up and he knows why and he knows how it all started but apparently giving you one side his and not letting you see all the situation. i bet that you hate your mom. well that is not what you shoudl be doing. you should be on the side and not interferring with this. you need to stay out and be cool. i know this to be very hard not taking sides but its the best way to stay one sided. remember someday you will have this opportunity to find out what this thing is about and make decisions so hopefully you can make good ones and sound judgemetn. take care.

Answer 9

This is between your mother and father...the only thing you and your brother should do is NOT choose sides and just continue to love them both. Your parents are people just like everyone else and they make mistakes just like everyone else, the relationship between them as husband and wife is different and totally separate from their relationship to you and your brother as your parents and you should leave it that way.

Answer 10

first of all: i'm really sorry about what happened to your mom and dad...

maybe there is some time left to make their marriage work...
let them realize that they love each other and hello!!!they've been married for 23 years how cool is that...., i think there is some love deep inside your mother for your dad...