I went out to dinner the other night with my brother, his wife and my mom. My brother had gotten a margarita. I asked him if I could have a sip. I asked my mother, she said it was fine, sure, go ahead. So I took a sip. Then she got mad because she had expected me to "use my judgement". Now she's mad at me and thinks I'm irresponsible even though I'm 16, I've never gone to parties, I've never smoked pot, I've never done the things parents worry about their kids doing. So what's up with her reaction if she told me it was fine? I think thats really confusing and I don't think she should have told me I could have a sip if she didn't want me to. What do you think?
2007-11-04 11:57:05 · 27 answers · asked by Speak 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
From your question, this sounds like a very confusing reaction. Maybe your mom isn't really mad at your "judgement" but at the fact that when you asked, you sounded like a kid, but when you actually took a sip, you looked like a young adult. It is difficult to watch your children reach that threshold.
It sounds as if you try hard to be responsible for your actions and should be proud of yourself. Stay strong and take care of yourself and you will do fine. You can try talking to your mom at a different time about the situation. When you are having a really good conversation, you could bring it up, something like "I was really hurt the other night when we went out to dinner. I asked you if I could take a tiny sip and you okayed it, then you blew up at me and called it a bad judgement on my part. I honestly don't drink alcohol and don't plan to, but felt it was a safe time and place to taste it." . Maybe she will explain why she felt angry.
At your age, I remember it seemed I would never be able to get along with my parents, and my mom explained that it was nature's way of making sure the fledgling left the nest. Boy, was I ready to leave! But now I am as close as ever to my mom. We live in different states, but talk and email daily.
You sound like a great kid, someone who cares what their family thinks and ponders over an incident like this. It may not really be about you, but about her seeing you in a different perspective that is very scary to a mom.
Good Luck!
2007-11-04 12:18:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Omg thats so not fair, she cant "test" you on something that she says is right. Thats like her saying, "im testing you to not do something when i tell you its ok, and not trusting me". That makes no sense. Im sorry that happened to you, that must have been embaressing. But she will get over it and realize it was just a sip that she told you it was ok to do, she should be mad at herself. Just explain to her that you have nothing to apologize for because you are a smart and responsible girl and have not done anything for her to accuse you of being irresponsible for. Good luck girl :-)
2007-11-04 20:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by tiun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I think she was testing you to see if you would do it, and when you did it pissed her off. But I don't think it was fair for her to do that though. And just because you had a sip, it doesn't make you irresponsible. There are far worse things you could have done that would make you irresponsible, not just taking a little sip of a margarita.
2007-11-04 20:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Shania♥ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It wasn't right, but you should forget about it and move on. Even apologize to her and tell her that she confused you. To make her realize what she did, tell her that since you are 16, you thought that her allowing you to take a sip was a nod not toward you drinking but toward her recognizing your transition into adulthood and that she had trust in you to allow you to take a sip.
2007-11-04 20:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Dina K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is inconsistent. The bad thing is that it's bothering you. Most unfair--to you. Ask your mom to be more clear in the future then forget it and move on. That was a really lousy trick and speaks of disrespect. Some moms just don't appreciate good kids. She's supposed to be the adult. Don't worry about it.
2007-11-04 20:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by chooesy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's an insecure jerk. She was just testing you. I've asked for sips of alchoholic beverages when my family was around so I could try it and didn't get that response.
Just ignore her and don't let her ruin you. You didn't do anything wrong that night.
2007-11-04 20:48:35 · answer #6 · answered by Butterfly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it was unfair of her to expect you to read her mind. If it was only a sip, what's the big deal? Obviously there are trust issues -- you should ask her why she feels this way.
2007-11-04 20:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by wiccanhpp 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she changed her mind. She was going to be the cool mom and say, sure go ahead, but then when you actually did, she changed her mind. This is her problem to work out. It's a tough transition. But she didn't do it too well. Just give her a break this time. No big deal.
2007-11-04 20:02:34 · answer #8 · answered by brando4755 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
While I agree with you about your mother playing "games" with you. You should know that you shouldn't drink underage, especially infront of your mother. Maybe your mother thinks if you will "try" a sip of alchol infront of her, what are you "trying" behind her back? I would apologize to her for using poor judgement and let her understand that you don't "try" anything else behind her back and she can trust you.
2007-11-04 20:02:32 · answer #9 · answered by hurricane 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mother sent you mixed signals. If she didn't want you to have a sip, she should have said so. If you were my daughter, I'd rather have you take a sip in front of me, rather than behind my back.
2007-11-04 20:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋