How to raise my self esteem.....I hate my physical apperance?

Question

Ok i had been told I am an cute guy but I just don't see it and I hate it there are times that I want to go to talk to a girl and if there is an other guy with her that I know is her friend that is better looking than me I just quit with out even trying because I feel I am not good enough and I am getting tired of that.

PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

change how you see yourself and not how you look, you have to be comfortable with who you are and you are the only one who can control it. listen to the other people, they wouldn't say it if they didn't mean it.

Answer 2

I have a friend that looks like a young Rob Redford and the gals go nuts over him. When we used to go out in the old days to a bar. I would always go up and ask girls to dance. If I got turned down when I came back to the table he would give me a hard time and tell me i had been shot down by a minnow (his rating system was a minnow or a marlin) and then sometimes he would say I had taken a broad side (another rating system was good looking, a battleship, super an aircraft carrier and not so hot a row boat) .

Well I dept plugging away because I like to dance. Once the women got to know me I had a dancing partner all the time because if they declined I 'd thank them and move on.

i have noticed that many men get drunk and take it to heart when a women asks them to dance. They do not act nice and these gals liked the fact that I was always nice. So I had agreat time and my friend would tag along.

So you no you just have to try and keep getting up. If you do not try then it's over.Besides is it that bad. once it happens enough it will be like water of your back and trust me the ladies can tell if a man has esteem and respect that.

But it doesn't hurt to be a millionaire, drive a Bentley and look like a 6'2", Brad Pitt with blue eyes either. Naw just kidding. Make that move and you will be glad you did. take care.

Answer 3

OK for 1 Sweet u need to stop thinkin something is wrong with u for 2 u gotta love u for u before anyone else can love u have confidence in yours self if u know those other guys are just her Friends go spark up a convo if she deni u move 2 the next hey if u are young then u have ya whole life 2 find a girl that interested and like u for u don't b scared cause being scared will get u no where....so loosen up Sweet good luck

Answer 4

I also read the other people's answers, and this makes sense because it is a common theme in development of humans. We all want to be liked and because of our American and Western European societies, we link our self-esteem to our looks alone. I am no exception, and in my 40's I have finally realized that my self-worth is all about who I am and what I do, not about my looks or beauty.

Take your time to choose your values, morals and friends. Be yourself and listen to your instincts, those gut feelings and heart felt emotions when you go against the "In" crowd because you know you are better off not following the leader. Take care of your body, it's the only one you have. Cleanliness and nice clothes are very attractive, and following basic fashion can be easy Even on a budget. Get a good hair style that fits your face and that is easy to keep styled. Lots of magazines have great tips on fashion trends and hair and skin care.

This answer could be a whole book, so check out some books that might be appropriate for your age, you are not alone! Be the best person you can be and be kind and set safe boundaries. Taking good care of yourself and honoring others can be all the confidence building you need and in my opinion makes you immensely attractive to others! Learning and living life to its fullest was always my motto, no one likes a dumb Blondie really! :-)

Answer 5

Get yourself a fitness trainer you feel comfortable with. Change your eating habits if they aren't good ones. When you look and feel good inside and out, it does wonders for your self confidence. You will not have the feeling of intimidation when you approach a girl, no matter who's around. Even for what ever reason she's not available to you, it won't matter because you will have other girls approaching you. You are good enough, you just have to feel it. We could all use improvement in someway. You will have a new confidence that will allow you to see how shallow people can be and realize some of the girls you were once attracted to, no longer are good enough for you. It's the greatest feeling in the world to be able to pick and choose. It's a win, win situation. You will love yourself for it. Trust me.

Answer 6

LOL. I am right there with you. I have no ideal what you look like so I can't say anything.
I have had somewhat a lot of women tell me that I was attractive but I knew them all so it didn't help me any. From what I was told that the reason I have a issue with women is because I am afraid to talk to them, but having low self esteem prevents me from doing that. I have been in 2 "long term" relationships with 2 hotties but that still didn't help my self esteem.
Only you can change that and it would be by getting comfortable with your self. Looks aren't everything. Be yourself and no one else. I was given this advice awhile ago, you can't love anyone if you don't love your self.

Answer 7

If you were able to look inside other people's heads, you would see that everyone has doubts, fears and insecurities.

The whole journey of life (I believe) is about learning to discover our own weakness and fears, face them, and move to a new level of confidence.

You sound like you are still young and learning the hard way that life is difficult and complicated.

The only advice I can give you is to start to talk positive thoughts to yourself and remember that everyone feels the same.

There's an old saying "Fake it, 'til you make it". In your case that would mean "acting" more confident than you feel. The more you act like this the more your fears and doubts will be proven wrong and the more confidence you will gain.

Good luck and remember there is only one of YOU in the whole Universe, make sure you find the best of who are you

Answer 8

Ok....I used to feel that same way. Then a few years ago I started "stepping out of the box." I pushed my limits - but a little at a time. Now I have pushed my limits so much and stepped out of the box so much that I can't even see my box. Now I talk to just about everyone and anyone. I still get scared but now I tell myself that I have to step out of my box and go say hi! It is like that old way - put a fake smile on and eventually it won't be fake. Even if you don't feel like it - fake it!

Answer 9

Your probably over thinking the whole situation. I use to have the same problem so what i would do was hide my face and let people talk to the back of my head. I didn't get to far and less people wanted to talk to me so what i eneded up doing was I stopped over thinking. If that one person don't like you trust me there are others that like the way you look. There is no real definiton to ugly cause everyones taste is different. Personally I started walking around my house naked and got use to it and soon enough i started letting people talk to my face and not the back of my head. Don't let it get to you and remember this...we are our own worse critics. Your looks are your looks get use to them cause trust me without some money and hours in the operation room your going to always have them looks. Walk with your head up...screw what people say.

Answer 10

under common situations i'm narrow 8 a million/2 stone 5 feet 10 and in good condition at wellbeing center thrice WK yet thinking my third infant is due in feb i'm like a budda and might hardlycontinual cant get close to guidance wheel a million yet i'm hoping i will spring back i did with my different 2 so decide for my first one

Answer 11

Victor, you are not alone on this one.
Most teens feel the same way.
Seems like it's just a part of the whole growing up thing.
The first time a girl walks up to you and starts a conversation, you're going to feel like a million bucks and forget that there was ever this awkward stage .