Feel insane inside...yet oddly not here.?

Question

I don't know what to do. In the last year I have been a self harmer, tried - sort of - to commit suicide twice. Been in hospital. Been admitted to a psych ward for a week. Come out. Stopped therapy because i decided i hated the psychologist. They all judged me. Spent today feeling numb. Haven't got energy to do anything. Keep having really odd trains of thoughts. Cyclic. Am i mad. Madness? Never diagnosed with depression. Cant understand what people think of me - drives me insane. Get obssessive about people, and jealous of others. Cant seem to gain independence. Tried samaritans - tried talking - tried asking for help - fed up of trying. Dont have energy to try to kill self again. Stuck in nothingness of not acting, not wanting to. People scare me - I dont understand them - they say they'll help yet they dont. Please help.

I've spent the whole day alone, in my comfortable room, not controlling my thoughts. My thoughts control me. This is all pointless

Answer 1

No one can help someone else with the psyche - a person has to help themselves. Other people can only provide some direction, but no one can see inside your head, so no one can know the thicket you must traverse. Try to think of understanding yourself as a kind of fantasy adventure. Only by traveling through it are you able to learn the lay of the land. As you go along, everything will become revealed. Don't be afraid to explore every nook and cranny of your mind. Whatever you think there is to fear cannot really harm you, you just have to come to grips with it. See every obstacle as a challenge that must be overcome so you can move on to the next part of your adventure. Move slowly at first and look deeply at everything so you can familiarize yourself with it. Realize what follows from every action and learn the consequences so that you can predict what will happen and learn to use your behavior as a tool to move on. See your behaviors as tools that can be used to produce various outcomes, just as chemicals have various results.
By the way, there are really only people writing back to you, so people can help. Good luck and I hope you find someone who can help.

Answer 2

Get a handle on yourself. Help yourself. You have to want to get out of the funk you are in. You have a comfortable room - think of all the others out there who don't. You sound like you don't want to be responsible for yourself. People have tried to help you and turn away. This may sound harsh, but your actions all point to you not wanting to grow up and take care of yourself. Buck up and cooperate with the treatment being provided to you. It only works if you want to get better. If not, you will stay stuck in your little dream world where nothing makes sense.

Answer 3

just sit in a place u r the most comfortable for and hour at least and just sit there. let ur mind flow don't control it just sit there until u have found urself. whatever u do, don't control ur thoughts this will help u. if it doesn't , i don't know what to tell u

Answer 4

i think of that the human beings who're asserting bi-polar illness are incorrect. i took a type in psych and that i dont truly think of you have bipolar illness.. i think of you're depressed. you assert which you're frequently depressed so im assuming you recognize the indicators of it, and so on. between the indicators is composed of habit this is rather on the subject count number of bipolar illness. this being, unhappy down interior the sell off habit, and then different circumstances they could have moods whilst they're OVERLY happy, then they are going to bypass back to being unhappy. i understand the way you experience simply by fact i even have long previous threw this. on the time sessions whilst i grew to become into overly happy, a number of my friends concept i grew to become into intense.. reason i grew to become into SO happy. it didnt final long simply by fact then i went back to being unhappy and lazy lower back. i think of which you're able to desire to communicate on your mothers and dads or in step with hazard attempt counseling despite if that's melancholy. additionally i'm sorry you failed your type, the comparable element got here approximately to me.. yet i actuallly kicked butt on 2 of the finals(i think of) so i surpassed those training, yet i failed the different 2. attempt doing harder this semester and that i wish you solid success. attempt chatting with a doctor or your mothers and dads or somebody who could desire to help you. i do think of there's a huge hazard of you being depressed , despite if it may additionally be something else. take care ?