I, a girl, made it known to a guy that I liked him. Not in words though. By the way I acted, nervous, giggly, etc. But I didn't have actual intentions. The guy had a girlfriend but I didn't know since we hardly spoke just a few words. Over several months, he would do various acts of kindness & little things to show that he liked me back. When he did, I backed off, then became flirty again. Regardless, no dates, no spoken "I like you." I started to flirt with other guys in front of him & the guy flips out. Starts yelling at me, being really mean like I led him on. Wasn't I being led on if he had a girlfriend? Wasn't it just friendly fun?
1). Am I at fault?
2). Did I deserve that type of mean treatment?
2007-11-04 09:06:27 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, he should not have flirted back if he was taken. He led you on.
Second, he has no right to you at all, yelling at you was extremely irrational. He obviously has issues with commitment and honesty. I would not give him a chance to explain anything...get away, far, far away!
2007-11-04 09:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by pollyzmama 3 · 8⤊ 3⤋
This is pretty much my life story haha. So don't do what I do and feel like an idiot for not being able to meet a normal, completely single guy. It's fairly normal but what I've gathered from it is that it's got to do with insecurities and self esteem. I always feel like the other girl is better than me. I think the thing to take away from all of it is that.. don't waste your time on guys that have other girls too. It's time to focus on your own happiness and do things that make you happy. If the guys worth it, they'll come chasing after you with no other girls around. They're just not quite the right one yet :) Keep telling yourself the things you've said up there, because I'm sure you are very kind and respectful and sweet, and any guy would be crazy not to see! Build up your confidence and self esteem with these thoughts and if it happens again.. don't go be getting heartbroken. Just move along and avoid the same situations in the future. Resist the urge to get involved. I hope that made sense and helped haha :)
2016-05-27 08:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you were "letting him know" with actions but he has a girlfriend. Various acts of kindness sometimes are just various acts of kindness. Nothing was spoken and he has a girlfriend. His reaction was an overaction at best and uncalled for. He has a girlfriend. Being a flirt isn't a crime and he did understand it in a manner in which you wanted him to. But he had a girlfriend and maybe still does. Even though no words were spoken he might have dumped his gf because he thought you and he would become a pair. But a public fit is never appropiate. If you liked him why would you flirt with others in front of him? In todays world that could be dangerous. You were playing with his emotions and do have some fault but you appear to be on the same maturity level so don't dwell on it.
2007-11-04 09:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by thesongfairy 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like you were both a little at fault ..
You may not have exactly deserved it, but you sure opened yourself up to it ..
You should always try to be honest and direct with people, especially when you are dealing with their emotions. I know flirting and little hot cold games are fun and everything, but some people don't get that you are just playing. You can get burned really bad. I lost a guy I really cared about this way some time ago. Now I don't play games, and frankly the guys are much more open and honest with me in return. They appreciate that I don't mess with their heads, it makes it easier to tell what's going on. They respect me for it.
It sounds like you have some chance at saving your friendship though, if you go and tell him how you feel .. let him know you were playing because you knew he had someone and thought he was playing to. I think he would at least understand ... Just be honest .. in the long run your just better off that way. Good Luck!
2007-11-04 09:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by L. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a young thing.... You are a girl? Nothing is wrong with flirting depending on the situation. You aren't married?, engaged? he neigther? The field is open for you all. You are young and just figuring out how this all works. Don't take it too seriously. The answers here are pretty good. Most of all take what you can from the situation and discard the rest. While your figuring this out ask your self some questions:
Do I want to be picked on by other girls because I'm drawing attention to myself from their boyfriends?
Do I want to be known as a tease?
Do I just want to genuinely have fun with people and not cause anyone hurt or pain?
Do i need a strange amount of attention or do I just like being light hearted and love people?
2007-11-04 09:40:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In case you have no objection for a senior to respond to your question here goes., If you do not like just ignore .But I sincerely feel that you need advice from a mature person.
Both of you are quite young. While you have just attained the legal marriageable age(according to Indian standards ,leave out the child marriages in the backward societies) and he has as yet to reach that qualifying age(21 years). I really appreciate this bf of yours who is exercising such a self-control in that he did have much less insist on sex with you.Unless he is impotent or his sexual urge is moderate this is not possible in normal young men.Hid flirting with a gf may be nothing but a show to keep you off for some time as your admitted flirting with other boys is for brining him on.
Perhaps both of you are studying. He may have before him some ideal of what to do with his life(Has he shared this with you?) and this does not brooke any deviation . I find that you are also a girl with self-control. Any other girl would have almost raped this young man but you have shown examplry self-control. Both of you are indeed eminently suited to each other. And now try to have some more patience to have a happy ending to this love story.If he is reluctant to take on the respsonsibility of marriage on account of financial difficulty you can suggest to him without being too insistent that you can take on the responsibilities in the meantime.Believe me when I say that I would have liked a daughter like you and a son like him.You find such exceptions rarely in the present society which believes in only eat,drink and be merry.
My heartiest blessings to you both.
2007-11-04 09:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by Prabhakar G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
mkayy girl, listen im not saying you r the bad guy well girl here but if u knew he had a girl freind u shouldnt of flirted i mean isnt there some other guy at your school/work you could flirt with that Doesnt have girlfreind but i am also on your side too i know what tht feels like i actually just got out of that same mess. i was a little trase to this guy at a dance then the next day i realize i dont like HIMM i like someone else so i kept flirting wiht him and now he likes me and well we arent going out but he told me he likes me just on friday so on monday we r probobly gunna date but WHATEVER back to you yeah just find someone new and that 1. DOESNT have a girlfreind,2. Isnt a jerk. mmkay?
Much Peace And Lovee,
Savanahh xoxo
2007-11-04 09:26:16 · answer #7 · answered by Savanah 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well actually you are kind of at fault because u flirted with the guy and u kind of told him that you liked him. which i guess made him like u back so even if he did have a gf and u were trying to express your emotions you led him on which could have led him to liking u. he then could have broke up with his girlfriend and asked you out. but if you were flirting with other guys and you didnt like him anymore than thats a different story. know what i mean?
2007-11-04 09:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by susie 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
His is like a monkey swinging from limb to limb and you weren't there when he thought you would be. You probably shouldn't have acted the way you did but he shouldn't have been so upset and just told her that he had a girlfriend. For you it was friendly fun but he didn't take it that way. No, you didn't deserve the mean treatment but now when he splits with his girl friend you will know not to get involved with him. don't change the way you are but be careful that the one you are flitting with doesn't take it serious until you meet someone you want that to be serious with.
2007-11-04 09:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all, you probably should have backed off altogether when you discovered he had a girlfriend.
You complicated things for the two of you by flirting with him. And then when you would back off, flirt with other guys in front of him, you only confused the situation more.
Yes, I feel you were at fault. But I don't feel he should have treated you the way he did, when you were not "his" to begin with.
Chart unoccupied waters next time.
2007-11-04 09:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
This guy is a total douch bag obviously he was flirting with you for fun because he has a girlfriend and if he wanted more i think he would have said so. I think that if he felt upset he could have taken you aside and told you or explained what he was wanting from you. In the mean time try to not flirt with men who you know are taken. Hope this helps.
2007-11-04 09:18:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋