Unplanned pregancy at 16 help?

Question

my bf got me pregant, he said that he would stay with me and support this baby, i'm worried though. My brother does'nt know yet, he is 21. Kale (my brother) told me when i was 15 and had him as a boyfriend that if he got me pregant, he would kill him. I have a stepdad and 3 step sisters all much younger, (7, 7, 9.) and 1 step brother (jake, 14.) i have 3 bio brothers all oler (18, 19, 21) My step dad hates me. I'm afraid to tell him because i know he and Kale will kill my boyfriend. How do i tell them i'm pregant? How do i get them to not kill Adam? Any good parenting tips?

Answer 1

There are no magic wands or fairy godmothers. You have some very unpleasant choices. None of them are good.

1) Have an abortion.
2) Give the child up for adoption.
3) Try to raise the child with the help of your family and boyfriend.

If you live in the USA, the child is white and you don't take drugs, there are couples who will pay all of your medical expenses for you, if you let them adopt him/her. There are lawyers who specialize in arranging adoptions like that. This would be the best for the child, although most teen mothers don't think so. They are selfish.

I knew one, an acquaintance of my daughter, who told me "no one can love my baby like I can" with a cigarette in her mouth while child-to-be was still inside her. She wouldn't even stop smoking for the benefit of her child, and she said she loved it. Love is sometimes a warm feeling and sometimes an action; quite often the action is a sacrifice.


If you choose to become a mother at 16, your chances of your boyfriend doing anything useful after the first month or two are 95% against. Most unmarried teens don't believe that, either, and think their man is one of the 5%. You mom will end up being the chief care-giver, 9 times out of 10, and her husband the step-dad will resent it every day of his life. It may destroy their marriage.

To take just one small example, someone is going to have to get up at 2 in the morning to feed the baby for about 6 months. To take another, unless you put the child in an enormous sand box, someone is going to have to buy Pampers every week. Kids cost $3,000 - $10,000 a year extra in supplies. If you have a trust fund or BF is a software egineer, easy; if not, step-dad is going to have to make budget cuts elsewhere.

You tell you are pregnant by buying a kit at the drugstore.

You get them not to kill Adam by telling them about the laws against pre-meditated murder in your state, and about homosexual rape in prisons.

Parenting tips would fill a book.

Is there a coach, minister, social worker, teacher you could call or talk to? Even the mom of a friend would help.

Answer 2

Well I personally would tell your family by telling either a parent or older sibling first, because then you can tell the others later... Don't believe your bf will stay with you, sounds like he planned on you being preg... or he wouldn't have said he'd stay he'd help if he got you preg, most guys say that so you feel comfy having sex with him.... so don't believe him actions speak louder than words... he better have some money saved and he better have a job and start saving ask your mom if you can go get your ged and look into colleges while you work and have the state help you pay for both and also you can goto college when the baby is 2 months old or so and sign up for all the assistance you can and see if your state will help you... go to the docs I have 0- blood type and the baby is poison to me if it has any other blood type I need a shot while I am preg and after if the baby ahs a diff blood type and the baby gets a shot too or the baby and/or I can die after it is born (I can also have misscarriages and die later on due to differences in blood types) so you better talk NOW!

Answer 3

I got pregnant at a very early age, and I never told my parents, partially because I was afraid my dad would shoot the guy I was with. I got a surgical abortion, but abortion is not the right solution for everyone. I advise you to talk to a school counselor. Even if they can't help you with your violent family, they can offer some support, which you will definately need. Don't go to a crisis pregnancy center unless you already have your mind made up to keep the baby and not adopt out or terminate, because the people working there are very conservative and single-minded. Planned Parenthood can be a very good resource no matter what you choose to do. They can set you up with various groups for advice and support. Good luck!

Answer 4

You are in such a hard position! I am so sorry that you are here, but there are ways to deal with your situation that are very good, so even though you may have a tough time for while things can only get better for you.

1. Please, please, please don't have an abortion. I have two adopted boys and I am so glad their mama's chose us to be their mom and dad. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to bring these boys home after not being able to conceive.

No matter what the majority says, you will be severely emotionally scarred for many years if you were to go ahead and have an abortion. Not saying that you can't heal, but most women realize that they killed their baby when all is said and done.

2. You can run, not walk to a crisis pregnancy center. They are there to help you right where you are without putting all kinds of guilt on you and pressure. They will help you find direction and will give you honest facts. I have a baby bottle on my dresser filling up with change to donate to our local center.

Please get some help. There are places you can go, but please don't go to an abortion clinic. Hold on to that baby with your love, either by getting help to raise it yourself, or offering it to a family who can raise it through adoption.

Answer 5

You and your boyfriend got you pregnant. It takes two people to make a baby. You are going to have to grow up and bite the bullet. You need to sit them down and calmly tell them the situation and move on from there. You and your boyfriend have some serious things to work out and you need to start working on them now.

First of all you have to tell an adult so that you can start receiving proper health care not only for yourself, but the baby you are carrying. It is of the utmost importance to you and the baby to get excellent care.

I hate to hear that you are in this situation, but if you are acting as an adult and having intimate relationships these types of situations usually come up. It is now time to put away the stuffed animals and start buying diapers. Lots of girls go through this so you aren't alone. You can do this...you have no choice but to do it. Your life isn't yours any more you have a child of your own to think about now. You are going to have to be strong not only for yourself but your child.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

I was 18 when I had my first child. I knew absolutely nothing about parenting & was extremely unprepared for the difficulty it would be. I was terrified to tell my mom. But I did. Nt telling your family will not help. If you have a church, talk to your preacher. He can help. If you don't, seek out a priest who can give you guidance.

Also, talk to your family. Just be honest with them. It takes two to have sex, not just 1. So you are both equally as responsible for the pregnancy. They may be upset at your boyfriend, but overall, you & the baby have to be the most important factors.

If you decide to keep the baby, they will be there for you. if you decide to put him or her up for adoption, there are plenty of couples who want children. But the important thing is to think every aspect through carefully.

As for parenting tips - there are alot of parenting classes. Look into them. Hospitals also have good parenting resources too. But please, sit down & be honest with your family. You want as much support as you can get.

Answer 7

The first this you said was unplanned pregancy. What do you think would happen if you did not use birth control?

Answer 8

They wont kill him they are going to be very upset at first and your brother may give him a good a$$ wooping but that is just because he is protecting his baby sister!! Your going to have to tell them though, things will cool off a bit after a few days of shock and disappointment! But they need to know so you can get the care for you and the baby! Best of luck to you in life, it is going to be a hard one from now on! i am 26 married and still not easy to raise a child!

Answer 9

i really dont know but i am srry to say this but i hope it doesnt happen to u the boyfriends usally leave u when they find out ur pregnet even though they say there not do u have a mom if so tell her if not tell the person that u trust the most a person that will be there the whole time if u feel u cant take of it put it up for adobtiopn but what ever u do dont abort it if u have to try to find a place u can live during ur pregnacy i really hope nothing bad happens to u hope this info helps

Answer 10

Crap dude I'm sorry. I'm 14 just found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend left me before that. And I tell him I'm pregnant and he doesn't even care. So I hope your boyfriend doesn't leave you. Good luck with this hun. I would tell your mom. I think she will be a little disappointed but she will take you to get an abortion. I have yet to find the courage to tell my mom.