How do you handle personal questions on the holidays from family?

Question

im going to my Aunts for Thanksgivng and I know she'll ask personal questions like.
Are you dating anyone? WHo are they? When will you marry?

I am dating someone but i feel its none of anyones business, i dont want to tell her who im dating, etc,

How do i handle these questions? I always never know how

Answer 1

Ok, first of all, be patient. Remember that she's only asking because she cares, and for a woman from her generation, she just can't believe that you could be happy and fullfilled without a family. When asked these questions, say something like, "Oh I'm way too interested in furthering my career to even think about starting a family right now!" or maybe, "My involvement in (hobby, club, etc.) takes up way too much of my attention for me to be in a serious relationship!" "I'm sure a family is down the road for me yet, but I'm having way too much fun doing (whatever)."

The idea is to show her that a) you aren't going to divulge any information about your love life and b) you are happy and fullfilled with the way your life is right now, so she can be satisfied that you are ok.

Answer 2

Your question is one of the hardest to answer. It involves boundaries that are difficult to establish if someone has previously known you as a young child.
It depends on how close you are to this aunt. There are several ways to handle this situation:
1. Blow them off, don't go to the dinner.
2. Say "Why do you ask?" (previously stated in above answer)
3. The standard response "When I have something to announce YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW! (This implies that they have a big mouth and should shut up).
4. Be rude (not advised) "Wow, did you used to work for the FBI? What's with all the questions?"
5. Or you could just call her or have someone else call her ahead of time and say you will come to dinner but you don't want the third degree and be made to feel embarrassed in front of a group of people. Tell them you like to keep your personal life private.
This is the best I can think of right now. I do wish you luck!

Answer 3

If you don't want to talk about your guy, then when she asks if you're dating, say NO. It's annoying when your relatives keep asking you when you're going to get married, but about the best you can do is tell them "If there's any matrimonial news, Aunt Alice, I'll be sure to give you a call" and "I'm not thinking about marriage and probably won't be unless I meet someone I'd like to marry. Right now, I like being single." Sometimes a gentle "Aunt Alice, you be you and I'll be me, OK?" delivered with a big hug works wonders.

Answer 4

Evasive answers and moving the conversation back to them is the best way. You don't want to seem annoying, but you don't have to answer, either.

Are you seeing someone? Nobody special right now.
Is it serious? Not at this time.
Are you getting married? When I decide, you'll be among the first to know.
When are you planning to have a baby? See answer above.

So, how about those (sports team name here)?

Answer 5

I'm in favor of trying to be gently evasive initially, but as aunties (and mothers...) will, they generally press on until you have to say SOMETHING. When asked if you are seeing anyone, say you're dating 5-6 guys. Anyone special? Sure, three or four of them are special. Getting married soon? Two have asked, you haven't decided yet. Babies? Sounds delicious, I'll have two over easy.

Answer 6

When someone asks a question that is clearly none of their business just look them right in the eye and ask right back "Why do you ask" and if they answer that you don't have to respond to their original question. Just change the direction of the conversation.

Answer 7

It isn't anyone's business and you share personal information only when you choose to.

Try "I'm not here to talk about me, what's new with you". She will probably persist, just shrug your shoulders and say nothing. Just keep it civil, it will be over in several hours.

I know how you feel, I get this stuff all the time from MIL. I keep info I share light and non-personal.

Auntie may be genuinely interested, or (as in my case) want something to gossip about with others.

Answer 8

I would suggest, when a question is asked, shrug it off quickly, for ex: she says, are you dating anyone? quickly say no, and immediately say, How are you doing?, how is your dog? or if you know anything else about them, ask(study up, know your family) always try to come back quickly with a question towards them. Most people love to talk about themselves ( you are young and not as experienced as these older people with responses yet) but you can be a good listener,which is easy.....so, answer with a yes or no and snap back with a question about them....Good Luck...you can do it....

Answer 9

It's natural for your family members, especially the ones who don't see you very often, to be curious. I always used to deal with overly-nosy relatives by being really vague.

"Are you seeing anyone right now?"
"I met someone."

"Who is it?"
"Just someone I met at [insert place here]."

"When will you marry?"
"I'm a little young (substitute "busy" if you're not young) to be thinking about that."

Good luck.

Answer 10

lots of really nice 'aunty' answers here.
i got so sick of hearing it i brought a friend (who happens to be a lesbian and looks it) to thanksgiving and christmas without saying a thing. we held hands 'when we though no one was looking' (when we knew we were being watched from afar) so no one asked ANYTHING from that point on.
drastic , i know, but it worked for me.