mom wants me to have fun?

Question

some background info:

I'm a senior in high school, i have a few friends and a girlfriend that Ive been dating for 2 years, i also have a job where i work 25 hours a week because we are poor and its the only way i can get a car.

okay
my mom is always telling me that i need to go out more and have fun and that senior year is my last year to have fun party and that im not normal. she tells me that if i go out and drink and even if i smoke weed she really wouldn't care. this really pisses me off and kinda hurts my feelings you know. she thinks its becuase of my girlfriend and that i spend to much time with her. but when im not going to to school or working i barely have time to her and a few close friends.

to my mom highschool was the time when she screwed around and had fun and then she had to work hard to make a decent living. i dont want to be a screw up when i get older what do i tell her?

nevit

she also tells me to get good grades at the same time

Answer 1

She is right about having fun. After your senior year, college will be ten times harder. But about her telling you she doesn't care about you smoking weed, that mean that she is not a good mother. Not being mean. But don't do that. That is the first step to mess up your life. Don't drink too. I have bad memories of both of them with my family. Go to work and enjoy you senior year at the same time. If their is a party and you have work, ask your boss if you can work a day your free. About your girl and friends, talk to them on the phone or internet. Ask them to get a job at where you work if they can. Do your homework with them after school. Take one day out of the week to spend with them. Life is to short to waste it on working. Have fun because when your older and have a career, their is no time to play around as you can now.

Answer 2

Well that might have been your mom's life in high school but it sure didn't work for her, did it? She's not in a profession that keeps her family out of poverty, and apparently she has no common sense.

In her defense, its hard to parent a teen. Its really hard to not confuse your past with your kids present.

You cannot control your mothers behavior but you sound smart enough to know right from wrong and what's right for you. You are not your mother, your life is not hers.

Study and get good grades. You will have an easier time getting into a good college and getting financial help. Ignore what she thinks about your g/f, again its your life not hers. If you need a mother to tell you that smoking weed, drinking and partying is the wrong direction for you, then I'll do that. All those things will simply complicate your life in a way that could effect you all your life. While not horrible evils, they are a way to avoid living the life you have. And you could be setting yourself up for a lifetime of failure and sorrow. I imagine if my ex husband could go back 40years that would be one of the things he changed. A life of drinking, smoking weed and partying cost him his wife, his kids, numerous jobs, his home, his drivers license, his car, his freedom and almost his life. While he's 4yrs sober now, he'll never regain the price he paid.

I can't believe that your mother doesn't know better than that, and I wonder if she's having problems dealing with aging and her child becoming a man. I would show her some compassion and respect and simply tell her that you don't want that kind of life and she raised you to want better.

Good luck with your future.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have a sense of responsibility that your mother didn't have when she was in high school. Usually parents want their children to have a better quality of life than they had, but that doesn't seem to be the case with your mother.

You are right to use your high school years to get a basic education. Perhaps with good grades in your senior year you might qualify for some scholarship program to go on and further your education. If not maybe there is a community college where you could take classes and work around your part time job.

Basically you can either 'have fun' now and spend your entire life scraping by, or you can apply yourself, get a good education, get a good job that pays better, and have the rest of you life to have some fun.

Tell your mom you appreciate her concern, but that she needs to appreciate that you have different feelings about these things than her.

Answer 4

In a way, I can relate with your mom's feelings in that you are only young once. But, I think she is presenting this in the wrong light.

Some people just aren't "party" people. What your mom found fun may not be what you find fun, and vice versa. I think she is missing that point.

As long as you are keeping things in perspective, you should be fine. On one hand, I will agree that now's the time to enjoy life as much as you can because your responsibilities are few and far between, but do what YOU find fun.

Answer 5

Just tell her that you are enjoying yourself just the way you are. Thanks but no thanks. Continue being yourself, she is thinks that you are not enjoying yourself because her idea of having fun back then is so much different than yours. I mean, suggesting that you smoking weed would be ok, is not ok. You can simply tell her, why would she want you to be someone you're not. Hang in there, sounds to me like you'll be a success some day. I think you're doing ok.

Answer 6

Become an alcoholic! It is a great disease in the early stages. Later on, not so good, but that's later on...

Answer 7

Tell her you don't give f*ck what she thinks. Just say what you said here.