Should I encourage my brother and husband to quit smoking or hope they will decide for themselves?

Question

I recently quit smoking after having smoked for 22 years. I really want both my brother and husband to quit so that they will not suffer the way several family members did until finally dying. I personally watched my grandmother and father-in-law die of lung cancer. Neither of them went quickly either. My grandmother took about eight years and my father-in-law about six years. It was years of watching their therapy that really broke my heart. But despite all this, I hated when the non-smokers in my family gave me any grief about smoking. One day I woke up and was finally ready to quit. I hope my brother and husband will do the same. However we are all getting up there in age and that possibility is getting more bleak. I don't want to preach to them, but I also can't stand the thought of watching another loved one die in such a manner. Someone please help...I'm so torn.

Answer 1

Its good you remember how it felt when you were hounded to stop when you weren't ready. Just let your family know that if ever they want to quit that you are ready to help them through it, when they don't think that they can finish a day without lighting up.

Your instincts are right because you quit when you were ready and decided, this is the way it is for most things, you need to do it for yourself. Knowing that they will have support may encourage your sibblings, so just let them know of the hard times and what you did to overcome.

Congratulations and I'm so sorry to hear about your loved ones cancer is a terrible thing I wish we could eradicate it.

Answer 2

Natural Quit Smoking Magic

Answer 3

I'm also an ex-smoker (10 years, thank you).
This is probably one of the hardest things to do and you're right...hounding won't help! If you haven't already...set the rule that there is no smoking in the house or at your doorways! Give them a place outside with an ashtray and give them time. It's no fun having to leave the family dinner or gathering and go stand outside alone! Trying to find a place where smoking is welcome is becoming harder...make it that way at home too. By the way, my husband walks around with an oxygen bottle and has COPD from smoking 3 packs a day! Hard lessons.

Answer 4

I think you can be encouraging without being a nag. Try by letting them know that when they are ready you are there to help them. And then let the subject drop. You can show them the benefits of being a non-smoker with your actions instead of your words. Try to think if there is anything active that they enjoy to do and maybe are having difficulty doing because of smoking. If they like bike riding offer to go bike riding with them. They might notice that you can ride longer or faster than they can. Eventually they may want to be able to keep up with you and they may come to the conclusion to quit on their own.
Like everything, choosing to quit does take time.
They biggest complaint I hear from people trying to quit is the methods that are offered. You might want to let your brother and husband know of the many different kinds of help out there. Try some of these links and see if any of them might interest your loved ones.

https://www.nicorette.com/cinnamonsurge/cinnamonsurge.promo?mn=YnJhbmRlcXVpdHk%3d

http://www.chantix.com/content/Chantix_Branded_Homepage.jsp?setShowOn=../content/Chantix_Branded_Homepage.jsp&setShowHighlightOn=../content/Chantix_Branded_Homepage.jsp

http://www.cigarrest.com/land02b.php?sid=45158

http://www.quitkey.com/?OVRAW=quitting%20smoking&OVKEY=quitting%20smoking&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=5454432522&OVKWID=47804171022

http://www.aerosinfo.com/?OVRAW=quitting%20smoking&OVKEY=quitting%20smoking&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=6430071511&OVKWID=36064658011

Hope some of this helps. Good luck and congratualtions for quitting!!

Answer 5

I quit nine years ago and my wife is quitting now.

I'd suggest that you encourage them AFTER they decide to quit. There's already a lot of societal pressure on them to quit and extra pressure won't make quitting any easier.

Be as supportive as you can.

I suggest that, after they've decided to give up smoking, they use as many weapons in the quitting arsenal as possible. As an example, when I quit, I used both hypnosis and nicotine gum. My wife is using the prescription pill Chantix and also went for hypnosis. So far, she's doing well. I can definitely recommend hypnosis but be sure to use private hypnosis, group sessions are cheaper but worthless.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I understand what you are saying -- I smoke too and I'm 49 and my dad died of lung cancer (2 years) -- he didn't "suffer" much though. But I should think about this and quit myself but the truth is, I'm not ready to. I WISH I was but you have to be in a right place in your own head to do that. When someone bitches at me about smoking, it makes me want to smoke more (psychological added with being a brat - ha ha). You should also know --- there's sometimes nothing worse than listening to a reformed smoker (remember?). All of us who smoke KNOW it's bad for us....(as you know/knew) -- they'll have to decide for themselves when it's time unfortunately. If it was that easy, I would encourage people to complain to me about smoking. Of couse, I don't do that.

Answer 7

my husband and i quit in January, it was joint decision. you cant make someone quit thats not ready. all you can do is give them a good role model to go by and hope they will quit on their own. Pushing someone to do something they dont want to do is never good.

I would say if they smoke in the house get them to stop. Act like you allergic, something like that. If they cant smoke around you they might slow down. Also if they continue to smoke around you odds are you will not stay quit.

Good luck.

Answer 8

No, you give the same consideration that you wish you would've had and that is to not nag about the matter.

Smokers know the risks, as do other addicts, they will not quit until THEY are ready.

When they are ready it's your turn to show them how YOU did it.

I quit drinking 8 years ago but just because I quit does not mean that I'm out to save the world, just the ones that ASK.

Peace.

Answer 9

Keave them alone = this is a personal decision and everyone else in the world, including their doctors are hounding them about stopping. Personal family members that interfere in such a personal issue are always thought less of and discounted forever for being "holier than thou". Nag nag nag - they know the danger = you know the danger = they have a decision to make and you can only hurt yourself in their eyes by becoming "that" nagging pest.

Answer 10

You can encourage them all you want but in most cases until the other person decides that is what they really want it doesnt do any good. If you do try it make sure you point out all the good things that will happen if they end up quiting good luck!