Have I played it a bit too cool and ruined everything?

Question

I was getting annoyed that my bf wasn't being as affectionate as usual, not calling as much etc. My friend told me I should play it cool, so I didn't phone him or message him, and when he phoned me I kept it short and said I was going out with my friends. I went out partying so I missed his call and didn't reply to his text message til the next day. But he started being a bit funny with me and asking questions about what I'd been doing and why I'd got back so late. I haven't heard from him since. Do you think he might think I lost interest or went out kissing other boys? I admit, I sort of wanted to keep him on his toes, but maybe this was a bad idea?

Answer 1

At least only one of you are playing games, im sure he can already tell you arent interested in him. I read your very short story and figured it out. dont be shocked if he dumps you before your done playin him.

Answer 2

Sorry to tell U Katrina, but you gave your bf the wrong impression; he has been misled by your lack of assertive communication. It is always best to deal head-on and with direct honesty w/ such issues as feeling taken for granted. (U felt this way, correct?).
Your approach was passive, perhaps a little deliberately vengeful, and surely hurt his feelings to some degree, at least as badly hurt as were yours. I'm sure you'll both recover, and it was no doubt affirming for U (& him) to feel his jealousy. However, U would have both been happier if U had directly sought honesty from him about his behavior.
When I feel my sore pride taking precedence over the love I have for another, I am going backwards (I feel guilty & like "everything" is falling apart.) I've experienced that the resulting poor communication and hurtful actions lead to relationship errors, further compounded by both of our subsequent, misunderstood actions having deeper, even more harmful ripple effects. All of this is, at best, time wasting; usually much worse as things will eventually become too cumbersome and inextricable if left unchecked or uncorrected.
Katrina, U still need to confront the issue (if this is a serious relationship.) Don't allow the original issue to become mired and obfuscated by errors, time & actions of the pride & jealousy that have now created an even larger deficit.
The question remains: Is he actually waning in his desire towards U, or do U simply need to imagine new ways to challenge his attentions (if that's what U want)?
Don't be afraid of the answer K. Worse case is, he could want out (or U should, if he has waned irretrievably.) "Rejection" (so it is called) is always about the unavailability of the one doing the rejecting, for whatever reason.
Always!
So now, to continue to take the relationship seriously, U are still left with having to clear the air between U by more direct means. Take heart; U will either be affirmed, or U will need all the pride U can muster. At any rate, men (& women) always fail at Guessing101 when it comes to understanding the other gender.
Hopefully, U'll both end up laughing about it later, (that is, if U still want to challenge his interest level after all this.)
-Ta, WT.
(PS, Your friend's advice garnered the response she felt appropriate, as she holds not the love for bf. Be careful .....)

Answer 3

Don't you think its mean to get into a relationship and then start playing head games? If he was annoying you, you should have told him what was bothering you and why you were annoyed by it. At least give him a chance to fix it.
Now what ever it was that annoyed you is sill there PLUS he is upset. Seems to me the advise your friend gave you to "play it cool" has backfired. So yep it was a bad idea. Now come clean with the guy and tell him why you didn't answer his call, why you didn't answer his text. The tell him what it is that annoys you

Answer 4

Games in a relationship are never a good idea. If you are having a problem with your boyfriend talk to him, not play games. Relationships are about communication and what you just prbably communicated was you were seeing someone else. Quit the games, call him and have a real conversation, you maybe able to save your relationship.

Answer 5

He deserved that. You did a cool thing. Men need to get jealous sometimes. They are still hunters, whatever they say. He will phone you! Keep being cool but let him know that you like him!

Answer 6

yes he probably does think that.You have to communicate with him , tell him whats been going on and see if you can sort it out. Dont play games, it was a pretty bad idea because now he wont know what you want untill you tell him

Answer 7

He's been ignoring you and taking you for granted. He just doesn't like to experience it in return. Just let him know you didn't appreciate his reduced attention and wanted to show him what it was like. If he's still bent out of shape about it, maybe it's time to re-examine the relationship.

Answer 8

I think what you did was perfect! Just enough to let him know/realize what he has, and how much he wants to keep you (hence the jealousy... asking why you had gotten back so late, etc.) ...

Just slowly get things back to normal... how you used to be, and how you like it!

Answer 9

well u should have told him dat u dont fell loved as much...so he knows wo hes doin wrong. but wot u did mad him suspect dat u twotiming him. n mabey thats y he is not replying 2 your txtx or calls.

Answer 10

Playing games w/ you BF is a bad idea -always. You don't want him to mess with your head, so don't mess with his.