We have been together for a year now and their are alot of things that I have put up with during this time. I love him. However, I am finding him hard to deal with to the point that I am cursing him out left and right. Because of him, I feel uncomfortable talking to men because he acts as if every man I speak to has an alterior motive to screw me. I can't have guys on my myspace page because he thinks that it is a form of trying to get with someone else. He wants me to cook and wash clothes all the time (which isn't really a problem but I don't want to feel obligated to do it for him). My best friend and I went shopping for 2 hours after work and he got really upset over it thinking that we were doing something else. My best friend and I talk about everything. He feels that he is obligated to be told everything too. He wants to be my best friend too (which I clearly understand) but he wants to know my every move and step. Their is more but no more room. What are your thoughts??
2007-11-04 00:30:39 · 9 answers · asked by cocolatecafe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I tottally agree with all of you guys. However, when you love someone and they live with you, it is hard to just break up with them. I remembered something else. One day, I had sent a myspace message to my cousin and I didn't tell him. About a couple of days later, my best friend and I was looking at the funny comment together and he told me that,"You can tell her that you sent a message. When was you going to tell me?" This is rediculous. We are both 27 years old and I vow that if we do break up, I am not going back into a serious relationship until I am 30. However, being that it is very hard for me to have children (I don't have any), I wanted to stay with someone that would be able to help me in this area (in my 20's). I might sound a bit weird. However, all you guys are pretty much right!
2007-11-04 00:56:54 · update #1
His needy, eventually you will leave him no matter how you feel about him.
What you need to do is tell him, explain to him that by clinging on to you he is giving himself a self furfilling prophecy by making you leave.
Not even married couples can stay together through all that. Eventually another guy is going to come along and one thing will lead to another and before you know it you actually did leave him. Its a self furfilling prophecy, by giving you space however and letting you do what you do, he would have alot more benefits.
EDIT:
I think that this goes beyond love, its not healthy for you to feel like this and him to not know. Talk it out, explain to him how you feel about him, tell him what will happen if he carries on doing what he does, tell him theres more benefits in giving you space, reassure him that if you were to cheat/or leave that you would of done it by now.
(Im a guy, i had to learn the hard way)
2007-11-04 00:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that he suffers from low self esteem but for the fact that he wants you to cook and wash clothes for him because that makes him more of a control freak. you may love the good things about him but when the bad outweigh the good it is time to move on and find someone more in tune with you before your own personality is overtaken by his. Divide a piece of paper i half and list his good qualities on one side and the bad on the other and I think it will be easier to move on and look for someone else who has those good qualities without the bad ones as well. Life is too short to live by the standards set by another person and that is what he is trying to do to you. Good Luck!
2007-11-04 00:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts are this. Your boyfriend is trying to be very controlling of your every move. That is just wrong on so many levels. You should NEVER EVER allow anyone...male or female to control you. You are your own person...and you belong to nobody. I would either sit down and tell him this, and if he doesn't "get it"...see ya later dude. Remember, controlling people are dangerous... and he will zap all your self confidence from you... that's what controlling people want to do. Be strong... I would suggest that if he doesn't change, you need to move on.
2007-11-04 00:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by Racer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mine is the same way we live togetner and if i hang with my friends or a guy he thinks that the guy wants to get with me and he tries to start **** with the guy and i am sick of it. he always wants to be told what is going on if i am emailing or calling or talking with someone he is just whos that what do they want is it that guy. me to is getting sick of it so i know how you feel i would sit him down adn talk to him and if he has any problems with it or continues there are plenty more men out there that will treat u right
2007-11-04 00:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by josephine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but for the most part any guy you talk to does have that ulterior motive - whether it's reasonable or not.
Hey, we're guys. We're wired that way.
2007-11-04 00:38:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason he is feeling insecure, just check out with him, be good to him, talk to him, crack jokes upon him, show lotz of affection, he really loves u, treat him well. Good luck.
2007-11-04 00:37:46 · answer #6 · answered by chaitra s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-10 05:43:46 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know he is a control freak. you know whether you want your life to like it is now a year from now...he will not change...unless you enjoy being questioned (accused!) about your every move and thought, move on to a more rewarding relationship..someone who makes you feel like cursing them is not your friend!
2007-11-04 00:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by fretochose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is he looking for a maid or a girlfriend ?
2007-11-04 00:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by aunt_webby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋