whats the best way to get over somebody?

Question

my bf & i finished this week after a year together. it has ended badly after a series of rows in which he accused me of being inconsiderate for his feelings etc & i was really starting to think his behaviour was very controlling & dominating.

but, for the first time i had made the decision split...normally he finshes with me then i apologise for something i dont feel i have done wrong in the first place.

however, i still feel sad about the split & about plans we had made for the future. he could be a really nice person at times but that gave way to being insecure & accusing me of things.

what should i do?

Answer 1

Be grateful he's out of your life. You exercised good judgment splitting up with him.

Answer 2

As they say (and I at times don't agree with).....

....Move on.

Let this be a learning experience, but be forewarned...

He could either be viewed by you in the future as "the one that got away", or maybe he would have been wrong since these little flaws you've detected could grow into major problems...ultimately ending the relationship where is would have been far advanced and much more ugly.

Having given your experience my best shot, there really is no way of knowing whether your aqaintance could have become a great husband, provider or father...but it would be too risky to try and find out at this stage of the game.

Better course is to split, forget and proceed.

Better luck next time.

I hope it was truly a learning experience, one that will fortify you.

Good luck in your quest.

Answer 3

Did he have any validity for his complaint? That he claimed you were inconsiderate of his feelings. Do you feel that was true sometimes? We all need to feel validated, like we count or matter. If he felt you were not considerate of his feelings, then he might have had a valid complaint.

Also, he might try using that as a way to control you, by going overboard or even inventing this complaint just to control you.

Do you have any good friends who knew you both from when you were together? Ask them what they honestly thought.

If you decide to stay away from him, then keep very busy. It will help you keep your mind off of him. Go out and meet new people. It is better to be alone then to be in a bad relationship. Best of luck to you. God bless.

Answer 4

First take some time. You need time to heal and learn. Do some self examination to make sure you really are not the person he said you are. But if you are then own it and fix it.

If he is a jerk, you need to look at why you chose him as a BF. You don't want to keep getting into relationships like this. It is all about growing and becoming a better person.

Answer 5

I just answered this thing till the page was full. Then accidently hit the wron button and erased it all. so now I don't know if you got the answer or not. take a break. time off for your self . do what YOU want to do,.
half the time I wish I didn't have a girlfreind. oops sorry didn't mean to be a liar. 90% of the time I wish I didn't have a girlfreind. I am sick and tired of people telling me what to do including her. or especially her. YOu be you. and if they like you the way you are. then ok. if not. check out other people. oops bad idea my bad. there are only another 7,000,000,000 other people out there. can you count to 7 billion. me neither. sorry for giving bad advice. hey that
'w why i'm no Dr Phill.

Answer 6

You don't have to put up with a controlling, abusive, domineering relationship. Be glad you are through with it.

Take some time for yourself. Make new friends and go out and enjoy yourself.

Do things that make you feel good and get to know yourself again and become the person you want to be.

Answer 7

I would suggest that you stop worrying about how he is feeling, and concentrate on your own future, dont let his domineering side undermine your confidence.
Make a list of all the positive things you can think of about yourself (your friends may also be able to help with this by telling you the things they like about you). Then armed with your list think about how lucky he was to have you and how much he will be losing and missing out on by not having you.

Answer 8

Hard night in the local pub with some girlfriends ought to help.

Sounds like you just took the right step out of a relationship that is already spiraling downwards. Be sad and be glad. Time to find someone who treats you better - you probably deserve it.

Answer 9

Girl!!!!THE GUY doesnt really love u dats the truth like it or not.................u deserve someone who can treat u right and as an equal rathern than throw u around and make u feel low...............ur seem like a good girl so hell yeah therd be lotta better guys u can see...........gettion over someone is all in the mind really.............u just have to stop being love blind and open ur eyes to reality and see how his love is making u loose ur identity..............kee pr self buzy with other stuff stay positive and there are lots of fish in the sea so chill out and clelebrate how wise u are to realise this rather than continue and ruin ur life............like other woman do.................ull get over it before u know it

Answer 10

This is called, "Afterburn" Forgive him, forgive your self,
Work through your feelings, ask for help from the God of your
understanding, Learn from this experience, All of life are
lessons to learn from. So your next choice may have more wisdom, Take the healing a day at a time, Time will ease your
emotions, Keep hope and faith there are better days in front of you. good luck.

Answer 11

forget about him, and realize if you 2 never broke up you probably would have never met your true love your future husband. Remember there's a whole lot a guys looking for a good girl like you but you'll never meet them if you give up now and say that your life is through. so just hold your head up high and realize only the strong survive.