why do i feel like this?

Question

im 30 years old i have borderline personality disorder as well.
this was my previous question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Anvv4CZ80k8kBn_S1YoFb0vsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071104022716AAt1e7x

i feel tainted and branded in life because of my situation and circumstances...i feel tarnished and labelled, like people are staying away from me.....are being told to not get involved, are being told they cant help me.......
also because of the bpd i feel im stigmatized now.
ive never made friends in life or ever had a relationship....my main connection to the outside world is the ' internet '.
ive made 1 or 2 friends, but most ive met on myspace or yahoo answers reject and abandon me...or seem to lose interest in me.
i feel that is because i have a negative stigma attached to me..or their being told they ' cant' help me or ' cant ' get involved..& there obeying these commands.

im lonely, live alone in a one bedroom apartment & i feel ostracized like everyones staying away.

Answer 1

Dear Ghost, I really think you need to see another doctor because you sound like you need more help than you're getting. I also think you need to give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up for being sick and not being able to do everything 'normal people do'. You need to realise that having limitations is not permanent and will change as your circumstances improve.

For most people, friendships they make on the Internet aren't the same as 'real time' friends, on line pals are novel and are simply convenient. Once they get bored of you or you say something they like or whatever, they drop you and move on, often forgetting that it is a real person on the other side of the monitor with real feelings. So if it's at all possible, I think that you should work on finding ways to make freinds outside the internet too...

Answer 2

Look around you this minute and look outside your window. That is real. Internet is a fine escape and a way to express yourself, however you will only get the help you need where you are. Look into joining a support group for BPD sufferers in your area - talk to your doctors and mental health nurses about mental illness support services in you area. That way you will be going somewhere where there are real people and some may become your friend. I hope you will find someone soon that can visit you or for you to visit them as a friend or more. The feelings and closeness you make on the internet have no basis in reality. Remember that the next time you find yourself getting attached to someone online. I know I tried it once and met the person and found I did not have the same feelings for the person in reality. You need to interact with people in real time to have a real connection, which is what you are trying so hard to find. I hope you find it.

You feel like you do because you are not getting the real interaction of one-on-one interaction where you feel the emotions and reality of the person's care and interest in you. Our bodies and minds need to feel and see that connection in real time, otherwise it is just in your imagination. Imagination is not concrete. Actually touching someone and feeling their energy is concrete.

Answer 3

I understand how you feel. I really do. People avoid you because they're scared. You have a "mental illness", and when most people think of that they think of psychos in hocky masks.

I understand feeling lonely and ostricized, too. You know, before I was diagnosed (rapid cycling bi polar with psychotic features, PTSD), I had big plans for my life. I was despondant and almost suicidal, because my life did not turn out the way I planned it. I wasn't a "success". But then, something wonderful happened. I embraced my diagnosis and I redefined success. Because as a human being, I am a success. My spiritual beliefs give me comfort and shelter, and that is a success. I raised two wonderful kids by myself, and that is a success. And I notice and take pleasure in everything around me. I can honestly say that I have a wonderful life and I am a very happy person. How many people can say that with a straight face? I don't want you to think I never have problems, because I do. But the dips (or crashes) make me thankful for the rest.

I know your life is not turning out the way you planned and I'm sorry for that. You deserve better. But like it or not, this is your life. I suggest making a list of postive things about you and your life. Then make one for your goals, both short and long term. For example: I cannot hold a job because of my illness, but I take great satisfaction in volunteer work. Start with little things. Give your flat a deep cleaning. Pets are wonderful for everyone, but especially for people with mental illness. If you can hold a job, put money (every last cent) into your immigration fund. If you can't hold a job, it will take longer, but it can be done. You know what you need more than anyone else. As you start marking off things on your lists, you will be able to feel more confident. I strongly recommend exercise every day--it will make you feel better. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

I understand what you are meaning ang it is not good to feel that way i think you may need someone to talk to about your problems and what not you know what i mean? People who feel this way always let it get to them that they end up doing something bad to themselves. You need to be stronger and get out there if you don't have any friends and assuming no kids b/c you said you never had a relationship you need to make that first step in making you life more better not more difficult. Theres a long life ahead and don't let it go to waste enjoy it till the end. I do but i also have a family so that kinda keeps me busy all day. Go clubbin or something have a good time. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 5

this only happens when you allow it to happen. it sounds like your waiting for someone else to make the first move, in whatever case. your quite rightfully just being respectfull to not be too pushy towards others. start joining hobby groups, like photography classes, because people interested in art often feel alot of emotion so you can relate and share stories (and bond). go out to clubs, there is no social standing there, its just happy people looking for a good time and meeting new people. join a gym - you surprisingly meet great, positive people there that would influence you in a positive way, its great! and dont be scared about not looking good enough, everyone is there for the same reason! sometimes its hard to begin, but once you've started you just easily flow through on it. just take a risk, you never know what great things will happen!

Answer 6

Because God made you the way you are. And if you are not happy with yourself how can you expect others to be happy with you.

You must have lots of good things about yourself, things you can be happy and proud about.

But if you are feeling depressed, I suppose no amount of words can change the way you feel, but a wish come true fills the heart with joy.

Still I think you need more of an expert opinion than I can contribute.

Wishing you well!

Answer 7

There is a group with some wonderful people in it. Go to google groups and look for Borderline Personality Disorder & Family.
There are some good people there that were also diagnosed. I'm sure they can help you. Good luck!

Answer 8

Hi I really feel for you! People can be really horrible and ignorant sometimes. They just dont understand do they? I am sure you are a really lovely person and can offer great friendship to someone who could just be patient!!
I do have to say though from reading your question that I get quite a negative vibe. It seems that your confidence and self esteem are quite low and that effects how people react to you. Have you tried going to your doctor explaining how you feel and asking for help (I knowdoctors arent always helpful but try and persist!), I get the impression that you dont want to stay in this situation forever. You aren't worthless, you just need to realise that yourself! You can be helped, please just keep trying and asking for it. But you must want to help yourself!

Answer 9

You are right so time you made a plan to get out of your mess.
Nobody will help you.
Omega must help Omega
The world only loves successful people
Challenge your thinking

Answer 10

you are depressed. when you get this way then take a walk. soon you will feel better. haveing friends arn't all that easy. get yourself a pet if you can. they are always there for you. when your down take a walk