Birth Control options question...serious answers only, please!?

Question

My husband and I have a two year old daughter that was a preemie. I had every complication that you can think of during my pregnancy and can't even fathom having another NICU baby (plus the cost has put us in a real financial strain) and due to my age (I'm 32) and my blood pressure, I'm at high risk for a heart attack or stroke while on the pill, so my husband has been scheduled for a vasectomy, which he's fully willing to do, on Nov. 16th. Now I'm having second thoughts. I've been thinking about what if something happens, God forbid, that our daughter would die and then we can't have more children. I'd rather take the chance of accidentally getting pregnant again than not being able to conceive at all. What are my best options? I can't use condoms due to laytex allergy and I don't beleive in the IUD. Any serious input would be appreciated. Thanks!

Answer 1

You may think i am out of my mind but my husband and i only use the pull out method. Have been for 6 years now. (We only have one child whom is 6 years old)

The pull out method has worked for us but the one time we did not use it i got pregnant which was in 2005 but i miscarried.
We have used it even since then and i have not gotten pregnant or even thought i was pregnant.
I believe he must be a master at it at knowing exactly when to pull out and i am telling you i have been thrown off of him a couple of times (lol) but see we don't know for sure if we want anymore kids or not.

Before i had my son i was on the depo shot which i loved. It worked so good and i never had my period which was something i did not miss.

I am almost 28 years old and i have one child, i am sure i would have more if we were not careful.
People claim that the withdrawl method doesn't work but it does for us. I also keep track of my ovulation dates (which i know can be guessing) on http://www.mymonthlycycles.com

Don't they make latex free condoms? You could use spermicide everytime.
You know all of the birth control out there and you know what it may do to you, this is something you will have to decide.

I am scared to have another baby also cause my pregnancy was horrible. I had pre-eclampsia, threw up from 2 months until i had my son at 35 weeks which he was healthy and did not require special medical attention in the hospital (He got out the same day as me -had a c-section)
I only gained 11 pounds during my pregnancy.
I got my medical records not long ago about the birth and found out i have a uterine septum that can cause miscarriages and pre-term labor.
It is scary thinking if you get pregnant again it will be like the last time but it may not be but i sit and think what if though, you know?

Sorry so long, got me thinking... Hope you decide. Good luck!

Answer 2

Okay so pill, IUD, condoms and vasectomy are out...what about the new thing called a NUVA ring? Its a small ring inserted into the vagina for three weeks and then taken out when your period is due, then a week later put a new one in for 3 weeks etc....
It might be made of latex though.....

Or a diaphragm? Maybe the depo-provera shot or the implannon rod could be helpful to you.
You could also save and freeze some of your husbands sperm should you wish to try again one day......
or have you tried the Rythm method?

I seriously believe that unless you are both 110% sure about the vasectomy then don't do it. Its only been 2 years since your experience and you don't know how you will feel in another 2 years. Each pregnancy and experience is different and you may not have to go through all the heartache again.
My best friend had an horrendous experience with her first but is excitedly awaiting the birth of her second just over 2 years later. She believes that what is in the past, is in the past, and the future will hold more blessings and wonderful experiences.

As I said be 100% sure before you do it otherwise you might see your child in 10 years time, growing up without a sibling to enjoy, and regret what you did.

Best of luck, I think you really need to schedule an appointment with your doctor to make sure there are no other options available before you do something drastic.

Answer 3

You don't believe in the IUD?
I would seriously recommend it in your situation.
I use it, and it works great, I have no complications and the doctor recommends it more than any other birth control option.
I use the Mirena, unlike the copper IUD, it has a small ring of hormones, like the pill, only it has none of the complications.
It releases the hormones to just the uterus and ovaries, so none of it gets into the blood or anything (you can ask your doctor)
If you are worried about being able to "feel it" you can't, at all.
It runs a little on the costly side at about $300.00 if I remember correctly. But my medical covered a little over 2/3 of it so I only ended up paying about $93.00 for it, and it's good for up to 5 years.
Just don't decide on the vasectomy just yet, you may decide on children later on and reverse-vasectomies are extremely expensive considering they are full operations.

Answer 4

oh, you poor thing! that would be devestating! firstly, you really dont have alot of options open to you at the moment, there are a few new things that are out now that you could look into (would have researched it for you, too lazy, haha) maybe ask your doc? you could, however, let your hubby have the vasectomy but freeze some sperm beforehand. im not sure of the cost of this, but its an option. also, try to look at the bright side of life, im sure your daughter will grow up healthy, and i know your at that stage where you panic about everything (coz i did too, when my daughter [also preemie, with serious health issues at the time] was 2) but you find that you worry less over the next couple of years. go see your g.p, im sure he/she can help. :-)

Answer 5

from what I've heard the vasectomy is easier to reverse than having your tubes tied. At your age and all the risks I would come closer to adopting a child than I would to try and conceive again!!!


oh yeah I just remembered that when I had my tubes tied there is a new thing like a clamp that they can do to your tubes that makes it easier to remove (if needed) and conceive (if you ever want to) and if you don't want to have it taken off then it just stays there forever! I just had mine cut and tied cause I though "yeah buddy this thing will fall off the same day my baby leaves for college then there I'll be'' so it's just whatever you want! good luck

Answer 6

where i live most ob's suggest that the male have a vasectomy, it's the most simple surgery and is done as an outpaient mostly in the doctors office, its easily reversed too. there are also latex free condoms. i think you shold best be talking your options and concerns with your doctor though.

Answer 7

What about the new device called the nuva ring, it is like the pill, but a ring you put up near your cervix and it delivers low dose hormones directly to you, plus it is safer that the pill. I haven't used it, but I will be speaking to my Ob about it.

Answer 8

you are obviously giving this a lot of thought, and believe in the sanctity of life in embryos so have you considered freezing your partners sperm? this yould leave your options open for as long as you are still young enough to realistically consider becoming safely pregnant. Best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 9

it's complicated, but you can reverse a vasectomy, if you're pretty sure you dont want another babba, maybe it is an option still.

sounds tricky, good luck.