My twins are about to leave home for college and I don't really know how to cope with that..My eldest daughter who graduated from highschool in 1999 get's angry everytime I talk about them leaving home..I do have two more children still in elementry but still It won't be the same without them. I live in Florida and they are going way to California.. what are ways to deal with this?
2007-11-03 20:29:16 · 12 answers · asked by La Femme Fatal 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
practice non attachment! Realize your happiness doesn't come from them but from your own mind. Or, transform your mind to love the fact that they're able to have such an opportunity to learn. Whatever happens, don't try to controlling...
Another thing, attachment is one sign of selfish tendencies, don't let it grow, you'll regret it when you're older.
2007-11-03 20:35:13 · answer #1 · answered by Tom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been through your situation, but I've heard that one of the biggest problems someone like you has to deal with is the extra time not being spend on your kids.
You still have younger kids at home, so maybe you can put more time into being involved with their lives - be a room mother for their class, or a den mother for a scout troop. Or try to find something to do for you: take a class, find a new hobby, get a job, get in shape, etc.
The main thing you have to realize is that just because you're kids have left home, doesn't mean they don't still love you and need you. But hovering or holding on too tight can make them all the more anxious to bolt.
2007-11-04 02:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try opening a Myspace account. I have kept in touch with my 22 year old son for years with this. The phone is a pain because I am on swing shift and he always calls when I am sleeping. I used to give him $ anytime he asked but now since I told him they were loans that I expected to be repaid someday he hardly ever asks for $. Plus you can always get in touch with them at your convenience.
Good luck,
Bill
2007-11-04 02:38:48 · answer #3 · answered by William A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be happy that they are going to california for college and not to prison. Be proud of them. Of course you are going to miss them but you will adjust. They are not going to be gone forever. You can talk to them on the phone and keep looking forward to them coming home.
2007-11-08 02:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by luciousgreeneyedlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to realize that moving away is a part of life and growing up....that's why its important to show our loved ones how much we love them, while you are still together...dont feel too bad...at least you know that your kids are on their way to building themselves a good future...besides, this isnt goodbye...you can still keep in touch by phone or by email...then make it a must for them to go home during holidays or semestral breaks...
i know it will be hard in the start...but this is something that has to happen...one way or the other, sooner or later, you have to give your kids the opportunity to spread their wings...we as parents on the other hand, have to learn how to let them go...because we love them, we have to...
2007-11-04 02:39:00 · answer #5 · answered by geisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats life, things change.
You wouldn't want them to stay children, forever, would you? Did expect that they would never grow up?
I know its hard. Mine have all flown the nest, I have been through it.
Whatever you do, don't lay a guilt trip on them. Sounds like you've done well up to now. Don't blow it.
2007-11-04 02:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Ravenfeather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try patting yourself on the good job you have done with them thus far that enables them to take the next step towards adulthood
that reflects well on YOU
and your younger children too!
OK so it wont be the same but you aren't losing any of your kids by letting them fly the coup - you are letting them gain whilst also keeping house against their possible returning
2007-11-04 02:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by Aslan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know that you have done your job well! Kids are only borrowed to us for a short time to teach how to be adults on their own. If they can go off to college or begin an independent life, it means you did your job and it is time to let go and let them fly!
2007-11-04 02:37:26 · answer #8 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wish them well and tell 'em to call home often. And be grateful they're leaving and not trying to move back in! I have one kid....she's 22 years old and has moved back home twice. She's still here.... ........
2007-11-04 02:40:03 · answer #9 · answered by Brenda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry the best part is when they get good jobs and tell u to retire early because they will be your income
2007-11-04 02:32:13 · answer #10 · answered by steam3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋