Fetish For Older Men- But They Never Reciprocate?

Question

I’ve always had a special thing for MUCH older men. I’m 25 and really find men in their 40's to late 60's, attractive. It's almost like a fetish, except I don't NEED the man to be much older- it's just a special touch or thrill. Most of the men I find myself attracted to fall into this category. It’s really upsetting me because I am always attracted to these men & they are never attracted to me. It’s so frustrating to have this unfulfilled desire for so many years. I don’t like many people- period- and when I do, they are usually older, and they either find it taboo to be with me or they just don’t want me for some other reason. I thought older men were normally attracted to younger women, but the only ones who appear to be attracted to me are horribly sleazy. Aren’t there any older men who are decent guys, but are attracted to younger- but legally adult- women? I am starting to think the problem is me. Maybe I’m just so unattractive that at 25, I can’t attract men who are 65. *Sighs*

I think that even if the older men I crush on were interested in me, they might be afraid to express that attraction for fear of being rejected or thought of as “dirty old men”- and I’m afraid to let it be known for fear of rejection and looking like a silly child or some Lolita. If we both liked one another, it might still go unknown. I know this whole thing sounds like such a small issue, but it is really starting to get to me. I don’t think I can just choose to not like older men and I can’t seem to find any quality ones who would want anything to do with me in this area. I would also like to point out that it is NOT a money issue. People always seem to assume that is why younger women want older men. Money is nice, but it isn't why I’m attracted to someone. To me money is about business not attraction. I can be attracted to poor older men just as strongly as rich ones.

Answer 1

i think it's a struggle for anyone to find someone who is equally attracted and compatible, regardless of age difference

Answer 2

Embarrassing disclosure: I also have a thing for older men. I completely know what you mean. I'm in my early twenties also, and like guys my age, but there is something attractive about an older (late thirties early forties) guy. I think its the sense of maturity, of protection you get from them. It can be about money, but not always. Its a frustrating thing, because you can't really have a long term relationship with an older guy, especially if you want a family and kids. Maybe you should just go for it, have a short term fling, get it out of your system. lol. Just wanted you to know you're not alone. Good luck.

Answer 3

I also have thing for older men. I'm 18 and I am really attracted to men between 30 and 40. I understand the feeling!

Answer 4

Attraction in a true sence has no age. Sense time begain women and men have been attracted to the younger of the other sex. Me I am 53, single and have not found that attration. When I do, I dont believe that age will be a priority. But the mental and physical attraction brought together into one heart.

Answer 5

First, it is okay to have fetishes. in case you act on them or no longer is under your power. I even have this component for (properly no longer significant) yet anyhow I even have this fetish. i purchase porn that shows this actual act and depicts it. I nevertheless date human beings and characteristic favourite sexual relationships I purely use the porn as an outlet. the different component is that older adult men are not that undesirable and you're 19 so it would be ok. i in my opinion pass with the fetish porn and shop myself aroused that way. (i'm as we talk) If the lady's into my fetish then i'm going to do it, yet maximum arent and that i hit upon myself with the porn returned. sturdy success and msot of all have relaxing. life's too short to no longer.

Answer 6

I can't speak for all men but I think some are afraid that any relationship will end as you grow older and seek someone more your age. There are alot of older men who like younger women, look at many of the older actors! I myself like younger women, but they tend not to like older men. My problem is that I tend to be a bit picky on appearance. I'm not really turned on by heavier women (no offense intended) even though I'm a bit jolly myself. Its my eye that's evil, not my heart. I'm open if you are...got picture? lol

Answer 7

You talk about being interested in older guys, but you don't give anyone a way to contact you - by IM or email. I'm 41, relatively attractive, keep in good shape by playing basketball regularly, but I have no idea if 20-something girls like me unless they are overt about it.

Feel free to email/IM me if you want to chat more.

You are unique, but that is fine.

Answer 8

I think they're just not that into you. If I saw a 25 yr old woman hit and me (I'm 50 btw), I would jump at the opportunity.

Answer 9

Well contact me I am 58 and women say i am attractive or handsome. but that is up to the woman to decide. I like younger women and seem to relate to them very well. but when I say anything to the affect they act like I am a monster so it would be nice if they told me they like older men agent logan at y hoo for reply.

Answer 10

I think the reason it goes unreciprocated is because they see you in one of 3 ways.
#1 You are too young & it would look ridiculous, which it usually does.
#2 You are too young & you would have NOTHING in common which is most likely true.
#3 You only want a sugar daddy, which again is most likely true.