I've heard some conflicting things about how men feel about sex. Men are supposedly good at separating emotion from sex and can have sex - and GREAT sex- without emotion or love, with someone they can't even stand. But then I hear stuff like that guys are bad at communicating their emotions or love for a girl, so they do it through sex to show their affection and adoration (I'm not making this up, I read it in Cosmo, a very reliable source of course! hah). Which is it? Can you really not feel any emotions for the person you're having sex with while doing it? Men are so good at separating sex from emotion, but are you good at combining them too? How does that work? Forgive me, I'm a lady who can't imagine having "hollow" sex, maybe it's just hormonal? lol. Just trying to understand men a little better. =)
2007-11-03 19:27:30 · 11 answers · asked by nightmare hippie girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, and I have had sex, have only a couple times felt like I was "making love" because the guy turned out to be a jerk who didn't love me, but he sure loved *having sex* with me! And I think that's why I wondered, cuz there were times where it seemed very deep, connected, and wonderful on both our parts, but the relationship itself...not so much...Beh.
2007-11-03 19:39:59 · update #1
Also, sorry for generalzing. I was just asking if there was anything to back up the generalizations (which had to come from somewhere to begin with, so there's gotta be some truth to some it it). I do want your guys' individual and differing opinions and experiences! Sorry if it came out as looking for just a general "rule of thumb."
2007-11-03 19:43:15 · update #2
Ah yes, Cosmo--if you don't like what you're reading, just wait a month, and they'll tell you something different. :)
My personal experience: I've never had sex with someone I didn't like (I think that's called "rape" in non-consensual situations). I'm not even sure the equipment would work satisfactorily, but that's just a guess.
I've had great sex in a friends-with-benefits situation, and I've had so-so sex with a woman I loved, but generally speaking, the best sex came with women I loved. That's probably because I consider sex an important aspect of a relationship, so, naturally, I'd pick women with whom I'm sexually compatible.
But here's the thing: After climax, the light goes out, for a while, anyway. The hormonal surge that led to a terrific roll in the hay goes whoosh, and I'm truly spent, emotionally as well as physically. Now, if I'm in love, then the love stays with me, and I can easily do all the cuddling stuff that women find in short supply. But if I'm not in love, I just want to enjoy the whooshing. I certainly hope my partner is enjoying it too, but it's less likely that I'll want lots of post-coital affection. I should also say that, as men differ, each man's experience will differ with each sexual encounter, even with the same woman.
So, to answer your specific questions, (a) yes, sex is a way of showing affection and adoration (good word!), and (b) I feel emotions for the person I'm having sex with, but how much emotion, and how much stays with me after the whoosh, depends on how I feel about the woman.
Great question!
2007-11-05 01:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by grizzie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are we talking about, Sex or Making Love?
Over the years even some girls like take me home and get the heck out sex.
But in making love, there is so much more feelings, so much more forplay, and so much more devoted sexuality.
Its just not men that are like this. Women find it a great thing to have sex and get that fix, and still have the single life and no mate worries.
Until you have made love, real love, then I dont know if you could understand.
I am with you, I cant have sex, but I will be the first to admite to making love.
2007-11-03 19:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by vicwhit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Currently I'm 14 and I've had sex and I found during sex I didn't moan I just breath heavier and start to feel good gradually while my girlfriend was having loads of orgasms and moaning a lot but on a scale of 1 to 10 I would say sex feels really really good
2016-01-20 10:40:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know how it hurts most times when you break up with someone, and over time it gets a little easier. Well if you want to know if guys have emotions during sex think about all the guys that try to get back with their ex's that they broke up with for a reason. They remember the emotions they had for that person in bed.
2007-11-03 19:36:55 · answer #4 · answered by Daniel R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nightmare
It is easy for people not just men, but women to, to have sex with multiple partners, they just do it and go home. You can almost never tell who you are hooking up with until the next day, it is a long term thing or just a one night er. The one night er will tell you what he thinks you want to hear just to get you, the long term one will show you as well as tell you what he thinks of you and showing you what he is like, players are fast and careless the other will take it slow and easy for you.
Players,hook up no strings showing you romanceTo be's will make you feel good and romantic.
So what ever you are looking just take it slow and easy, not all of us are on the fast track.
Take care....cya....
2007-11-03 20:11:31 · answer #5 · answered by tmin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's comepletely psycological state of maturity. For those who can seperate sex from emotion are those who have a mindset that relates women to disposible objects of pleasure. For others they can't help feeling some emotion, to them it's sex on some kind of level, but this is usually something that doesn't happen with a one-night-fling, with f*ck buddies, or if it's just to have something to go to bed with. So both generalizations are true, but only to some extent.
2007-11-04 23:36:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it really depends on the guy to tell the truth some people try to show the emotions that way but me i show it both ways to my gf im romantic and nice to her write her poems and every thing else to try to see her beautiful smile i dont care what my friends think but i love her shes my world my love and ill do anything to just see her smile shes my one and only true love i wont ever get rid of her so my answer is that it really depends on the guy and the personality i dont date someone or kiss or any of that if i dont like someone (no i dont cheat) i just dont find it right to use them so i only want to spend time with people i love and respect.
2007-11-03 19:34:18 · answer #7 · answered by chongo89478 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
guys can lie to show manliness. sex is a bonding factor physically mentally and emotionally. but women are more likely to "express their feelings" then men. simple as that
2007-11-03 19:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've made LOVE to alot of ladies, ubut been in LOVE with only a couple!! Its a matter of convinious, for both!!
2007-11-03 19:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow..I saw sex in the headline...said Cool ..clicked it and then saw the essay question.....jeesh
2007-11-03 20:36:43 · answer #10 · answered by Mark P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋