he said he loves me and is still not over her though but that this doesnt affect us.. meanwhile it does, its affecting my feelings and our relationship. he said shes messed up, a wh0re and that he doesn't want her back, but hes still in love with her. he said he just wants to be honest so its either hide it from me or let me know about this. his exact words were" but u gotta know that there was a girl before you and i dont think ill ever be over her" im like crying i really love him and i don't wanna leave him but i know hes gonna have feelings for her always. he said hes sorry he put me though this and that he didnt ask for it and i just have no idea of anything my heads too jumbled if that makes sense so someone please make sense of this situation and point me in the right direction..? <3thanks.
2007-11-03 18:31:47 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think he will forever love her. Feelings for past flames fade over time and if you two are able to keep your relationship happy and generally good, that will certainly expedite that process further. He wonders what could've happened and what he's going through is entirely normal. In my opinion, you will find that if you guys are able to maintain your relationship, all this will past. Don't grow to resent him for being honest with you, and make sure he knows that you appreciated him doing so. Good luck!
2007-11-03 18:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by Peter W 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have been there I know its hard but for me it just got to much for me to wonder if it was her he would rather be with. Everyone needs some time to get over someone. I know you love him but try to take some time apart and you both can think about what you want. I did that and my relationship is better for it and it apparently scared him enough that I know now that I am the only one in-fact he said that. We have now been together for 5 years. This may not be the case but you need to take a step back from the situation and evaluate it because it is so hard to think straight when your inlove! Good luck girl!
2007-11-03 18:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by D&R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all this is normal for a man, and women too. He should have spent sometime healing, but some men like to move on to the next and the next and the next, with out healing.
Having a women is not healing, is the first point.
It takes time to get over anyone in your life. It is called memories. If your involved more then it is even harder, kids even harder let. You can't love some one and stop that love totally, it will go to the back as the new love builds but it is all ways their.
A guy can for get who he sleeps with by name, but a women can for years, why? emosional and phyical connection, with the guy it is just phyical tell it is true love, then it hurts for years, like the loss of a Father or Mother, a Wife or Husband, a boyfriend or girlfriends is less but stll part of us and our lives.
Step back and let him talk, talking helps guys to get over it and after a while you will be able to say yes we talked about that, I remember now, you said it fell good but hurts still, is it any less yet?
time and love, to of the greatest gifts we have to share and give.
2007-11-03 18:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by John M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not a surprise. Breaking up with someone, you do not get over it easily. But remember, he must love you for a reason. Yes, you do not fall out of love with someone. But remember that this is not your fault. You have an opportunity to make new memories that will last. He has that opportunity as well with you.
Clear your head and make a decision: are you going to let this effect your relationship or will you make the best out of it?
2007-11-03 18:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similiar situation. He's not worth it dearie. Pls dump him. What kinda idiot says,"but u gotta know there was a gurl before u". He's insensitive and has a rock for a heart. He doesnt want her back but he still loves her? Are u sure u wanna spend the rest of ur life with this man? Gosh..he is not even able to make up his mind.
2007-11-03 18:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he said he doesnt want her back but y is he inlove anyway??? what are the reasons y they broke up? its good to be honest but ask him to the point who he loves most now. Its really difficult to forget but sooner or later hopefully he will get over it.he says bad things to his ex which means he still hates her and therefore loves her still... just ask him directly.. and when he answers he loves you more than her well good for you, if not, then its better to end the relationship this early. It hurts at first but doesnt it hurt you more to continue going steady with him knowing he's still inlove with her? and that u cannot think of any other reason but he's just using u to forget her... :p God bless u in ur decision.
2007-11-03 18:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by chesny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortuantely he still cares for his ex and has not fully severed his relationship with her. Give him a deadline say a week to rid this emotional baggage which is hampering your relationship. He has to decide whihc is more important the past that he had with his ex or present and future with you.
If he let his past dominate him then I am sorry to say that your future with him won't be so bright.
2007-11-03 18:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to say this but he may be using you to fill the void he was left with when he broke up with his ex. He may say he loves you but he might just be using you as a substitute for his ex. He needs to get over his ex and decide if he really loves you. This isn't something you can really do or help him with, its just something he needs to do to get his priorities right.
2007-11-03 18:37:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh god, that happened to me once...and u know what happened? He got back with the ex! regaurdless of what she did... But ur guy may not be this way at all! It depends...does he try to contact her like calling,texting,emailing,im'ing her???? If he still talks to her alot then he wants her back... IF NOT...Then maybe he is just confused and stilll hurt from her...but within time he'll sob it up and be totally over her!!!!!! Best of luck...MEN ARE CONFUSING!
2007-11-03 18:36:53 · answer #9 · answered by x_farrah_x 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if hes never gonna be over this girl........
get out of this situation as fast as you can girl
hes not worth it
your just asking for heartache.........this boy is going to hurt you
get out of there
go find someone whos really gonna wholely love you and only you
im sorry cuz i know how hard it is to love someone so much and know that you shouldnt and you cant.......
i hope for the best for both of you and im sorry you had to go thru this......its so hard....=[
i hope it all works out......
2007-11-03 18:46:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋