myself, my husband and our 5 month old son live live in arizona near my mom and dad. We lived in chicago by my inlaws for a while, then moved here about 10 months ago.
My husband and my mom and dad dont really get along that well. He hates spending holidays with them and i could either take or leave holidays with them. But this year we hit financial hard times, he told his family (before we had found jobs here) that we would all come out for christmas to chicago and spend it with them, not stay here with my family. But things got financially bad and i had to find a fulltime job. I have only been there for 2 weeks and have no vacation time or time off around christmas. He got extremely shitty about it and told me "i guess you will have to stay here and the baby and i will go spend christmas with my family" "he is not spending his first christmas here with your family" "it is not fair that my family is always on the back burner" etc... then he asked if i cared..
i said if you have your
2007-11-03 18:26:02 · 7 answers · asked by jordy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
heart set on it then that is fine if you miss your family that much, however, i will sure have a hard time spending christmas away from my little boy.
is that wrong?
This is pretty segnificant to me, its his first christmas and as supportive as i want to be it would totally suck to sit here alone and working through christmas while he gets to spend his first christmas taking pics and stuff 1500 miles away.. i would just have to hear about it over the phone.. that would probobly make me sad..
i need peopels opinions..
2007-11-03 18:28:14 · update #1
Bottom line-the family of *FIRST* priority in all situations now is YOU, YOUR HUSBAND, AND YOUR SON. *Together* you are the most important family...then come the inlaws and the outlaws and the various extended family relations. Sit down with your husband and talk to him about this-sometimes it takes a while for guys to realize that they are appart of a different family-their own family with their wife-once they have children.
Then put your foot down. Your son should spend his first Christmas with YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND together. It's too bad that you don't have Christmas vacation time and can't get back to Chicago for the holidays, but life happens. If his family wants to see you let *them* hop a plane. If you're not going to be around, or you don't really care to see them, there's no reason to make your husband go to your family's house either. Just stay in and have Christmas as a family-YOUR FAMILY-your husband, your baby and you.
P.S. We live next to part of my husband's family and far away from my family so I know how it is! We just make *anyone* who wants to see the kids come to *us*. If they do, great. If they don't well then they're bummin.
2007-11-03 18:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can kind of relate to your situation. Only the distance of my family is 300 miles from where my husband and I live which is where his family is from. Anyways holidays are always hard because he wants to be here and I want to be there. We take turns going here and there for different holidays. I dont have children yet but I know that you will 100% regret not being with your baby for his first Christmas. You really need to get this resolved and quick. Your husband doest seem that he is being very supportive though either which is not a good thing. It is very hard to start a job around the holidays especially when you need to go out of town. The only advice that I can really give you is dont let your baby go anywhere your not going to be especially for the firsts. You will regret it hun!
2007-11-03 18:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by ~*Erin*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about a compromise? Let your husband and son go see his family before Christmas or after for a week, they can celebrate together no matter when they are there, and make sure they are home with you for the actual holiday.
You can have a special time with just the 3 of you on Christmas!
2007-11-03 19:55:22 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my Gosh!! What a jerk! Seriously though, you aren't the selfish one, he is. Unfortunately you have to work on Christmass. If you take the time off, your boss will most likely fire you.So of course you work because you need your job to provide for not only yourself and your child, but for him as well! What does your man do for you? He decides to take a trip to Chicago(with your son)and spend Christmas with his parents. That child is just as much yours as his! If spending the holidays with his parents means more to him than spending them with you,fine! But DO NOT let him take your son with him. You are his mother. YOU DESERVE to be with him on his first Christmas. Not your husband(who's priorities are screwed up) and his parents. The most that you should compromise on in this situation, is to invite his parents to spend the holidays with you in Arizona. If they decline your kind offer, you at least tried. That's more than they can say! Good Luck and Stand Strong!
2007-11-03 19:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Mir 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's no selfish. It's actually quite insensitive and mean on your husband's part. YOU and that baby are his family now and you all should come before his parents. this is your child's first christmas and he wants to take him away? That's horrible! Your husband needs to explain to his family that you all simply can't afford to come out for the holidays. It's time that the 3 of you start forming your own family traditions at holiday time instead of relying on being with other people. You never know....his parents might actually fly to AZ to be with you all!! That's what happened with my husband and I. We couldn't afford to fly to be with our families for Christmas so my parents are flying out here!
2007-11-03 18:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell hubby to grow up....you and the kid are his family. He can just wait until you have the time to go with them to visit. He is wrong. Hey...tell him to go alone if thats what he wants....the baby stays with you.
2007-11-03 18:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly no ur not... he is... he cant make up both of your minds... he needs to let you speek ....and its technically your baby u had him... so u should dicide where the baby goes... not him.... and i wouldent want my baby away from me... on there first chirstmas..... so tell him the truth and that he cant do what he wants to do with ur guyz baby without discussing it
hope i helped
2007-11-03 18:32:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lina-Marie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋