Do you have close relatives you've never met, haven't seen for ages or know you'll probably never see again

Question

How does this affect you?

I have a half brother I haven't seen since I was 4, almost 17 years ago. I adored him and he meant the world to me. Then one he was just 'gone', no goodbye he just left. I understand why he did it but it still hurt.
I know he's married, I know he has kids. I think he lives in my state but I don't know where and I have no way of getting in touch with him.
I thought about him for the first time in ages today and it's got me feeling distinctly blue.

He doesn't want to be found by certain people so he's gone out of his way to stay hidden.

Answer 1

Well for a minute there I thought you were talking about me. I guess your situation affects me greatly b/c it gives me an insight into what my little sister might be thinking.

I grew up with my mother and only saw my father maybe 4 times a year. Well he had a daughter when I was about 11 and the last time I saw her was ten years ago when she was four or five. He and I had a falling out and I never saw her again until recently when I found her on myspace of all places.

I wanted to reach out and say who I was but I remember how I felt when my father tried to re-enter my life at that age. I felt like it was much too late to try and start to be a family now. I figured my little sister would feel the same, especially considering the "great" things my father had to say about me and my mother's side.

You make me reconsider that thought, although I doubt I could reconnect with her without going through him. That's what keeps me from doing it. Maybe your brother feels the same. I don't know why he left, although you do. Maybe he wants to get to know you but is afraid he'd have to revisit the same things that made him leave in the first place. Maybe you need to figure out a way to make yourself accessible without exposing him to the issue he's avoiding.

Answer 2

Yeah i have some relatives that have either just moved to or are living in different states now or have moved back to my state from being in the military and I haven't seen them in forever. I just went to a wedding in GA and seen some of my family members that I haven't seen since I was 12. It sucks but what can you do. Yeah I think about them but it will probably be a long time til I see them again at a reunion.

When a death in the family has happened and you go to the viewing you know that you will almost be certain to see your all of your relatives that you haven't seen in forever. You finally catch up on everything and then when its over you all go home and don't hear from them until a reunion or another funeral. It sucks big time. I'm assuming that this has happened to most of you and I think I'm not the only one, am I right?

Answer 3

I have a half-sister that I haven't seen or heard from since I was 7 or 8, and two half-siblings I have never met, or even knew about until a year ago. I get irritated by all of them, but for different reasons. My half-sister hated me simply because I existed, though she was nice to my face. I'm irritated with my father for not telling me about the other two, and for not keeping track of them. Their mother(s) obviously didn't wish to keep him in their lives, but I feel like my dad could have done more.

Answer 4

I have hundreds of cousins I'll never know or meet. That's disappointing, but not as bad as your situation.

I perceive that your brother might be in some kind of danger if he whereabouts were known? If that's the case, the most loving thing you can do is let him stay lost. It's natural to miss him if you cared about him, but there's nothing you can do to fix the situation. Life is sad, sometimes.

Answer 5

Yes, an older brother and a younger sister. Haven't seen for a very long time. They live in different states. Makes me feel very sad.

Answer 6

I have an uncle whom I have not seen for 40 years...Daddy's only brother. He hated my Daddy and doesn't even know Daddy is dead. (Daddy died in 1973.)

My only close relatives are my first cousins, and I doubt I will see much of them when my Aunt Barbara dies (She is 90.)
I wll be totally alone except for friends at that time.
It CAN be sad if you choose to dwell on it.

I try not to think about it. I choose to try to think that I get to "choose" my family now.

Answer 7

my grandma - i don't even know if shes still alive.
my father - haven't seen him in 9 years
my half brothers and sisters - i have only seen them twice.

I just don't think about it because i have my family here. But i still want to see them

Answer 8

I have some that i've never met, and others i wish i never had met! :) The ones i want to talk to i do. That easy. I think you should find him, it's not hard. Put your mind to it. Bright Blessings to you and yours!

Answer 9

Phone book, electoral register? Good luck.