"if a guy doesnt ask you out, he doesnt like you"
i made it up cuase i figured that guys are sooo confusing. girls always think a guy likes her and he doesnt. they always think a guy is flirting and to him hes not flirting. i think us girls should llive by this rule
2007-11-03 16:27:21 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a rule that MOST women believe and many romance advice books will give. It seems to be the dominant idea. And yet IT IS WRONG. It assumes that every guy who likes you KNOWS HOW to ask you out, at just the right moment in just the right way.
Guys are often BAFFLED by women. The more he likes you, the more "frozen" he may feel around you. That is, the more intense his emotions may be -- surprising even himself. He may be going about his business 100% in control, and then suddenly overcome with a wave of feelings he does not understand when he sees you. (I am speaking from experience as a guy!!!! Yes, this is a real scenario from real life -- often!)
He might be planning to ask you out, and then come near to you, and suddenly draw a blank and forget what to say.
He might be late for something and unable to talk to you when he sees you.
He might be looking for you many times and NOT FIND YOU when he is planning to ask you out. (Note: This is especially bad because women spend most of their time in HIDING at home, talking to their girlfriends about why no one asks them out. If they go out somewhere, women wait for 10 seconds before deciding nothing is happening and go home.)
You might be surrounded by friends. It is almost impossible for a guy to approach a group of girls to ask one girl out without ending up humiliated. Your "friends" will usually not help, but will be jealous of you. Most guys don't want to approach a girl in a group. So you may need to sit and read a book alone somewhere if you want a guy to have a chance to ask you out.
He might not want to ask you out when his friends are around, in case it goes badly and he is embarrassed, or because they will be PESTS and not leave him alone if they know he is interested in someone.
Unfortunately, many of your sisters are downright rude to guys, and so a guy might be thinking "I really like her, but why bother? It's not worth it. I have been treated so rudely so often, that it's not worth taking a chance."
2007-11-04 01:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not a good rule. I've had a few guys tell me (like 2 years later or when I would have a boyfriend) that they liked me before but were just afraid to say anything. These guys were attractive and pretty outgoing. You could always try asking him out. Some guys find that as a turn on. :)
2007-11-03 16:31:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not really. That's too simplistic, and doesn't allow for any variety in the personalities of men.
The status quo for how dating goes puts all the pressure on the guy to make the moves, and this just isn't fair to those shy or unconfident ones. I had just such a discussion with my brother after that God-awful book from the sex and the city writer came out.
2007-11-03 16:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by emily_brown18 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i lived my life based on rules like that, i may as well bury my head in the sand for the rest of my life. don't just assume things!!
u have to remember that guys find girls just as confusing as girls find guys confusing. most times, if a guy doesn't ask u out, yes, it more than likely does mean that he doesn't like u. but perhaps there r other reasons that a guy isn't able to ask u out. maybe he isn't asking u cause he's not sure if u're interested in him, and isn't sure if or how he should approach u. maybe he feels u're not making urself available for him. he's making assumptions about u and u're making assumptions about him, so no one has any idea how to start a relationship with the other person. it happens all too often.
personally, the way i see it, don't make assumptions but go and find out the truth--straight out ask him if he's interested in dating u. it's how i got my hubby!
2007-11-03 16:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because it is possible that he is shy. If you think he's interested then give off signs that you are available and interested to make it easier for him to approach you. My rule that I live by is never chase a man. I have seen people do it and it has never turned out well. I don't believe women should be the aggressors and I don't like passive men.
2007-11-03 16:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutly not. Like everyone else said, guys can be shy. Some guys can just go out and ask anyone out, but some guys, especially if they really like a girl, are nervous to ask her out. Especially if they have had bad luck in the past.
2007-11-03 16:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by Eli O 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont live by that rule - it could really make you miss out on the love of your life just because he thinks you dont like him and thats why he never said anything
Girls stop being so chicken Take chances you only live once its not the end of the world if he dont like you there are plenty more fellas out there just keep trying you have nothing to lose - only something to gain. Happy lovin'
2007-11-03 16:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by innocentkitty2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't live by any rules. And that rule is stupid, because some guys are too shy, or don't think you like them back. There's so many different reasons to why they wouldn't ask you out, but they could stilll like you.
2007-11-03 16:35:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no no no. do NOT live by that rule! i have a huge crush on this one girl, but i don't have the 'stones' to do anything about it!! just educate yourself. guys that flirt with you and end up not being interested probably saw you as practice. KNOW how those guys act, and learn to avoid them. guys are NOT hard to figure out.
2007-11-03 16:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, No, No ... please don't live by this rule.
I like a girl in my neighbourhood. We are in the same college and in the same department. She never talks to any other boy but me. I am sure she likes me. Even I like her. But I think I'll never be able to ask her out or even approach her. I am just oo shy.
If you think that someone likes you, just go and approach him. Someone has to make the first move. In the worst case, you will be rejected, embarrassed and you will lie on you bed and cry for a few days.
Nothing worse than that can happen. Make up your mind that you are prepared to face that and go ahead and ask guys out.
2007-11-03 16:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by Protik Maitra 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋