A woman came on here asking what she should do for her situation. She did not mention physical abuse, although he could have been doing that too from what else she mentioned (sounded like rage, alcohol, something else, or a combo going on). I suspected it is possible that if he was not already that he would soon from it. I just wanted to punch his face or get a baseball bat to him.
My husband used to abuse me physically and is on medicine currently. I am still having trouble with getting over that & all the people who believed him over me (like that I deserved it or that I was doing bad). I have already tried counseling & etc. & antidepressant in the past when we had money & now I just don't see much point with me taking medicine unless it will make me forget completely. Counselors may be okay to talk to though as long as I don't go through the same but I am wary of them too.
Is it so wrong & immoral for me to feel so mean towards other people's spouses when they are being abused?
2007-11-03 16:09:39 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
And it was definite mental, emotional, and verbal abuse and I think it was damaging to her spirit the way he made her feel about herself.
2007-11-03 16:10:36 · update #1
C.C. Curious . You are the best!!!!!!!!!!!. Ponder and take your decision . What you decide , I'm sure - will be the best.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-05 01:09:50 · answer #1 · answered by Eliot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CC ... work it out whatever way you need to. Anyone who has never been in an abusive situation doesn't have a right to judge. And I'm not talking about just somebody who got into a slappy b*tch-fight once or twice. I mean the kind of abuse that you get used to being afraid of. I mean the kind of abuse that makes you flinch when anyone raises their hand next to you.
My husband was 6' 8" and used to grab my skull like a basketball and squeeze and laugh at me as I tried to get free. That's a HORRIBLE form of abuse - where your abuser tortures you and humiliates you at the same time. I fantasized about squeezing his head and punching him in the face too. If you don't try and take your power back by standing up to your tormentor, even vicariously, you'll always be a victim.
Do what you gotta do.
Stay strong.
.
2007-11-03 16:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, its not immoral for you to have that feeling. Its natural. Its the fact of acting on that feeling. From your post it sounds as if you have alot of hard feelings against your spouse for the things he put you thru still. You need to let go, and let God!! I know thats easier said than done but ultimately God and time are the only things that heal all wounds. I think you feel so strongly about others in the same situation is that you sympathize with them and can relate. Its a good thing you are feeling compassion for others, just dont let that compassion turn into anger or get a foothold. I undersatnd that you have sought counseling, but have you ever sought spiritual counseling for this matter?
2007-11-03 16:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by kim 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you still have a lot of anger toward what your husband did. Are you going through counseling together? Has his behavior changed? If not, why are you still with him?
I was also an abused wife. Through a lot of hard work, I'm over it. We're not together anymore, but I can say I have truly forgiven him for what he did. You sound like you're still beaten down in more ways than physical (I know that it starts emotionally). You really need to keep seeking counseling so you can get through this. With or without him.
2007-11-03 16:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by Linnie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a normal reaction to want to hurt someone who is hurting others. My husband used to be physically and verbally abusive too. I think when we realize that we fight "not flesh and blood, but principalities and powers of darkness" it makes it easier to pray for the person who is abusing. I don't believe in counselors so much. The only time I have healed has been when I have kneeled at the Cross and unloaded everything on my Savior. And when I finally surrendered everything to Him.
2007-11-03 16:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by Discerning 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The feelings aren't wrong, they're just feelings. Following through with it would of course be wrong (in my opinion). Deep down you know that violence is not the correct response to violence, unless it's direct self-defense. If there is domestic abuse going on, the best way to deal with it is to get out of the situation, by finding a safe house and contacting the authorities.
2007-11-03 16:21:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are right, it does damage one's spirit among other things.
I deal with abuse pretty regular and it's futile to get angry and resentful; it does not heal me or the situation.
Let the Lord comfort you; He is the only one who really can; and He can heal your wounds.
We have to forgive people. We've all done wrong in the sight of God and apart from His grace, we are all without hope.
I encourage you to stay with counseling. Try to get Christian counseling if you can. It will be more helpful. Also you might try to find a support group.
2007-11-03 16:26:40 · answer #7 · answered by goldyyloxx 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that abuse from you would be no better. You do not want to become what you hate. Lean on God, and take your meds if needed.
I feel bad for you that anyone would think you deserve to be abused.
Sometimes it is more for a persons mind to except that someone they know and like, could be abusive.
You do need to forgive everyone. I've had much trouble forgiving in the past. We have to forgive the way God forgives us.
It is so hard. I have to ask God to help me to forgive people.
And then I start praying for them.
It works, it sets you free, and you actually do forgive and forget.
Sorry so lengthy. I just want to help. I don't think it is right or moral to want to hurt someone. I think when we don't go to God first, that's how we feel. I think you want to help that person and yourself. You do not have to hurt anyone, and you do not have to be in control.
Give the control to God, and you will see how much you will be healed. God Bless!
After reading one other response, I want to add that I have been abused, and had to have surgery, from it.
I'm hoping you choose God's way.
2007-11-03 16:25:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What this man is doing to his wife IS wrong and immoral to many people. You should not feel guilty for being angry at a man for hurting another human being. Please talk to this woman and try to get her to get help and report the abuse. Nobody deserves this and it is for nobodies good her staying in this relationship. I congratulate you for getting out of such a bad situation and hope that your recovery goes fast and well. Good luck to the both of you and God bless.
2007-11-03 16:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kisses & Hugs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The police never do anything.
I say pray and get a baseball bat just in case.
Moses Killed an Egyptian because he was outraged
at the treatment of slaves. Was that immoral or righteous anger?
2007-11-03 16:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh honey, I am so right there with you! I have to learn to let it go sometimes, but heck yeah, it makes me mad! Sometimes I'm just about ready to take the 2 hour drive to go kick some a$$...and I have to stop myself and remember that my friends are intelligent women and have the right to make their own decisions...even if it means staying with the man I'd really like to maim.
Oh, and if that is a sin, I should have a first class ticket to hell by now. Good thing hell doesn't exist!
2007-11-03 16:23:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋