Christianity & my Father...?

Question

Ok, here's wut happened...

I went to an ice cream party my friend invited me 2 2night. The party was orgunized by a christian orgunization/youth group. But my dad is Jewish (my mom is Christian, & i am being raised Jewish.) I believe heavily in my faith, & i DON'T beleive in convertion of any kind. I had so much fun at the party & many of my friends were there. I new that there would be something Christian about the party, & they ended up speding 5min. talking about Jesus and stuff. I was very respectful and polite during this time, i sat there and listened. It didn't influence me to convert and become Christian. My father wasn't happy i had fun at the party, when he was driving me there he was "making fun" of me almost by saying stuff like "if it's at a church we're leaving!" etc. It was very hurtful, since many(most) of my friends are Christian & my mom is Christian. My mom understood that i was not influenced by the party & was happy i had fun. But my dad...

was faking his happiness that i had fun & started insulting me by saying the group was stupid & nonsence, & distastful. I was hurt, my friends are part of this youth group and i had fun at the party. If i came back from a Jewish party like that my father would be EXSTATIC!

My questions are....

1. How would you feel if were my dad in his position? (if ur Jewish daughter had ogne to this party & had fun)

2. Do u think it's true that the difference b/w Jewish groups & christian 1s are that Christians invite other religions & Jews wouldn't invite any1 but their own?

3. Do u beleive in converting other ppl 2 ur relgion? Do u think it's right to do that?

4. Do u think they really were trying to convert me? (only 1 of the adults new i was Jewish, plus my friends)

5. Do u think it's wrong that they invited non-christians & still did Christian/religions "stuff"?

6. How would u feel in my position? (i had fun, that's all, i don't care about the religious difference!)

Answer 1

This is a truly heartfelt set of questions. I'l answer each one as someone who is a father, a Christian, and someone who respects diversity (seems like you also do).

1. How would you feel if were my dad in his position? (if ur Jewish daughter had gone to this party & had fun).
I would feel happy for her, I would have to remind myself that I chose to marry a Christian and should be glad my daughter is following the faith that makes sense to me. I believe he should have been more sensitive.

2. Do u think it's true that the difference b/w Jewish groups & christian 1s are that Christians invite other religions & Jews wouldn't invite any1 but their own?
I think that is a reasonable guess. Part of Christian culture is to reach out to people who do not believe.

3. Do u beleive in converting other ppl 2 ur relgion? Do u think it's right to do that?
I believe in both the freedom of speech and the right to determine your path. Evangelizing ultimately is harmless if done respectfully and without imposition. I sometimes share my beliefs, but only with someone interested in hearing. I also listen to the beliefs of others. If taken with maturity, it is a way to grow and learn.

4. Do u think they really were trying to convert me? (only 1 of the adults new i was Jewish, plus my friends).
Convert, as in, that was the only reason they wanted you there?.... No. But, this did seem to be a Christian event for the purpose of Christian sharing and possibly influencing non-Christians to consider Jesus as God.
If you have Christian friends, accept that some of them will want you to convert... that is because they think it's in your best interest and they care about you. HOWEVER, once you've made it clear that you are not interested in becoming a Christian, they should respect you. My guess is the party is one way of showing that being a Christian is good, and they probably hope their own example raises some interest. You didn't seem offended, so I have to believe it was not overdone.

5. Do u think it's wrong that they invited non-christians & still did Christian/religions "stuff"?
No, it's not wrong, because guests can choose to attend or not. Whether they are respectful depends on how they approached it. One test would have been to be yourself and share a little about your beliefs. If they listened respectfully as you did, then it was no harm. And ultimately, they should be able to be themselves, as should you. You did not sound uncomfortable, only your Dad.

6. How would u feel in my position? (i had fun, that's all, i don't care about the religious difference!).
I would have had the same response. For example, I once attended a Ba'Hai' event that was a lecture. But, I knew that part of the purpose is to raise everyone's interest in the religion. I attended, enjoyed the company, ate, and took from it what I wanted without feeling imposed upon. I think you have a very mature attitude.

Final advise: Reassure your father that you are sound in your Jewish faith. Tell him it hurts your feelings that he doesn't have more trust in your judgement. Though acting out of concern for you, he was being somewhat petty considering he married a Christian. Kind of a double-standard. Take care.
DP

Answer 2

The point of church youth groups is to grow up young Christians in their faith, and to provide them opportunities to invite their friends along as a means of sharing that faith and perhaps opening thier eyes to the religion that they believe is true. Having a good time with them should be what you have, and there is nothing wrong with that. But just know that your friends care about you and want you to make the right decision about spiritual matters. If Christianity is true, then it is the fulfillment of the Jewish hope, and it should be spread far and wide to convert people in false religions to the truth. Now, you say you just sat and listened, and that is all your Christian friends can ask. But the question is, if what they are trying to share is the truth, would you not convert to the truth because you already made up your mind that conversion was not an option?? If your dad is getting rude about them, doesn't this say something about the depth of his spirituality? If he doesn't want his kid accepting the messiah (a very Jewish concept) then you might ask him why? What is wrong with these Christians? What is it about the Jewish religion that allows just about everything except this Christian thing? If anything, I'd say you and your dad ought to have some talks and do some studying.

Answer 3

1. I would have no problem with it. obviously your father has no problem with other people and their beliefs seeing as how he married a christian woman. Sounds a bit odd that he would make a big deal about this.

2. No i dont. Ive had several jewish friends and i had been invited to several of their ceremonies. I was even given a prayer book and torah for my birthday one year.

3. I do, if they are willing to listen. I see nothing wrong with wanting to spread my belief and happiness to someone else. The one thing i will never do is force it on someone, or get violent over it.

4. Well I think it all depends on how the church handled it. Some church talk about God and invite people to accept him, or to attend the church and learn more. I have yet to see a church kick someone out people they arent believers, but than again there are some ignorant church out there.

5. No. It is a church organized activity and they have the right to endorse their beliefs at the event, just like any other sponsor as the right to promote their product at concerts and such

6. I would feel hurt also but I would try to be a little bit more understanding of my father also. I can see how he could be hurt by those actions but i wouldnt let it effect my relationship with him

Answer 4

you are right on the mark. All your questions deserve to be discussed with you mom and your dad and you.

Here's what i recommend. invite your folks to the kitchen table. YES! Take the initiative. You are not a child any more - you are an intelligent young adult -- so it you want them to NOTICE that you have to draw their attention to it.

Make some tea ahead of time. YOU are inviting them to sit down and have a cup of tea and talk.

Print these questions out, Put a copy at each place.

Say "Guys, I want to Stick to the questions in this sheet. No blaming, no shaming. I just think its time we had a heart to heart talk about what it means to me when you react the way you did the other night."

This next point is very very important: be sure that whenever someone says something, someone else (mostly you, at first) REPEATS it back, so everyone is sure they understand each thing that is said. At first you will all hate doing that but after 10 minutes you will love it. It feels SO GOOD to be heard and understood and listened to., It will also SLOW DOWN the emotional roller coaster and let you focus on the issues, not the anger.

You can even put that on your sheet as "rules of discussion: no interrupting, no personal attacks, everyone gets listened to."

Good luck, write if you need more tips or encouragement.

Answer 5

1. I am an atheist who follows the Buddhist philosophy. My daughter studied many religions and always had friends from various faiths. I encouraged her.

2.No, I think that is stereotyping a religion, which is what you accuse your father of doing. I go to many Jewish functions at friends' homes.

3. Buddhism is a philosophy, not a religion and trying to convert is not one of our beliefs. We see the value in many religions.

4. If they were telling you how great it was to be a Christian or saying there was something wrong with your beliefs, then yes they were trying to convert you.

5. It was a church sponsored event. The fact that you are Jewish is not and should not stop them from doing Christian things. However, if you felt uncomfortable at any time, you had every right to leave.

6. I'm glad you had fun and that you can see beyond the differences of your religions.

Answer 6

Ballerina, Your father is apparently being true to what he believes. You know the truth about his faith Is he a practicing Jew? Does he walk the walk of a righteous Jew? And what about your mother ? Is she a practicing Christian? Whether they are righteous or not it still places you in a difficult situation . You must decide what you believe. I am what they call a Christian Zionist, a Christian who believes that God will make good his promises to Israel as well as to the Christian Church . I believe there are only 2 true religions in the world . Judaism and Christianity. Christianity is also originally a Jewish thing. All the original Christians were Jews and Jews wrote the entire New Testament with the exception of Luke and Acts. If you have friends that are Christians , it is highly probable that they will try to convert you as this is a command of the Jewish Messiah Jesus Christ. One thing to remember is that both Jews and Christians worship the same God, Jehovah. So I can tell you that if you seek Jehovah God with all your heart , He will reveal to you if Jesus is his son or not. This is a promise God makes in the Jewish Scriptures by the Hebrew
Prophet Jeremiah . It is a promise to all, to the Jew first and also to the Gentile. In Chapter 29 verse13 Jehovah God speaks thru Jeremiah saying: " And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." So Ballerina seek God and I can guarantee you that if you do so with all your heart , He will reveal himself and his truth to you. God bless you . I am praying for you .

Answer 7

I really don't see a reason why anyone should be mad at you. You had fun and that's the point. If you become Christian or not is your choice and you shouldn't let it get inbetween your social life. I don't thinking forcing people to become a certain religion is the right choice but if someone asks me and is curious about my religion I'm going to answer it as a Christian (since I am one)

Answer 8

Dad is just feeling a little insecure honey, don't let it get you down.

I don't like my kids being around the Christians that much either.

A lot of them are very hurtful and say thing like you are going to burn in hell if you are not a christian.

These people ar poor examples of a christian to be sure but a parent does not want their child to be hurt.

Love and blessings Don

Answer 9

Life is hard enough without having to live with the brainwashing your parents are putting you through. Neither religion represents the truth. Your parents should have agreed to a game plan before having you. Their confusion and intolerance should be an indication of what is true and what is wrong. Your dad sounds intolerant of anyone who is not Jewish and that is only going to make your life more difficult. He probably won't change. Let his words go in one ear and out the other.

Answer 10

Well, we are all children of God, whether we're Jewish, Christian or otherwise. Your dad is exhibiting a religious snobbery. You didn't go to a party with Satanists or devil-worshippers, but he is acting almost as if you did! It's sad people still do this, though in their hearts, they claim to be religious. I mean, have you heard the saying that, "God don't make no junk!? Well, your father should show the respect that you did, towards others of other religious affiliations. This is a vast, big wide world and there are many people and manners of thought and religious denominations out there. It's the small-minded man who sits and points fingers at others who are not of his own belief. The same as those who are against those of color, or those of a different ethnic background. Differences in others scare some people. Your dad feels threatened by the diffferences of others. Perhaps it's a way of his for getting back at all those who are prejudiced against those of the Jewish faith. There is a lot of hatred for various groups by wrong-minded, intolerant people, all over this world. But your father is not making the situation any better by acting out of hate or spite. That kind of behavior just furthers the problem. He is contributing to more prejudice by acting with no respect or understanding towards those of other faiths. It's your dad's way of trying to protect you and keep you on his side. It's not a very intelligent way to get his message across however. You'll probably have to wait until you become more mature yourself. One day you'll better understand where your dad is coming from. But he should rather be leading you by being positive, than by acting negative, as he is. Wars, of any kind, are built on that type of mentality. One group trying to establish superiority over another. When the reality is, that we are all equal, all creations of the Creator, God, Allah, Yahweh, or however one refers to our Source. We're all different expressions of the same Deity. Perhaps, one day you'll be able to teach that to your own father. His mind at present, is closed and not open to understanding. Be patient, your answers will come in time!