I need help, I don't know what to do someone I care for may be getting emotionaly abused!?

Question

I am 16 years old and the girl I care deeply for just turned 18 but has to stay in her home to finish high school, because she is home schooled. I will admitt we are in a relationship and that is why her parents are doing what they are doing. Thats why I don't know what to do I'm afriad no one will help her and us because of what we are together anyways. her parents are confining her to her house, strictly limiting who she talks to and interacts with (about 10 or less people not in her family) no one else they go through all of her belongings and everything on her computer on a regular basis. I don't know what to do I know that this is emotional abuse but I don't know what I can do!!! I'm just a kid! nobody listens to kids and the fact i'm homosexual makes it harder to get help. I want to get her out of there safe I don't want her crying herself to sleep anymore. She tells me she has to stay there to finish school but what they are doing to her is wrong. please somebody help us

She is 18 but they have done this for the past year so she is extremal insecure and she can't leave they also have her in a fored relationship with a 20 something year old who they forced her to have sex with when she was only 17. she won't do anything and I don't know what we can do....

Answer 1

A difficult situation indeed! by staying in their house, she accepts their rules. Go to the Computers and the Internet section, and find out about encryption and computer privacy: I use an alphanumeric password: it may be possible to set up multiple accounts & passwords, so they can gain access to all but one. Or multiple email accounts with Yahoo, Gmail, Myway, Hotmail, etc., keeping one of them secret. Or learn a simple code: the plus 3, minus 3: (could be between 1, and 25) each letter is like the numbers on a 26 character dial: you move up , say 3 to code: CAT becomes FDW; deduct 3 to decode. Or letter substitution QWERTY = ABCDEF (moved along several characters, and possibly reversed (even more secure if 26 letters are put into a hat, and drawn out randomly: none should match). By changing codes regularly, only a master cryptographer, with a staff of computer genii, could crack it. You may have to continue the relationship in those hours when she is not at home, until the domestic arrangements for you and her change, which shouldn't be too long. In teens; section 13, there is something about homosexual lifestyles. Use the WebFerret search engine, your own, Yahoo search, the Google and Wikipedia websites, and lesbian groups at Myspace, Yahoo, and Google: others may have more to offer. She should see her school counselor, practice daily, and when needed, one of the relaxation techniques on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, and give the EFT a good tryout. Try emailing [e-mail] and possibly www.drdrew.com may help.

Answer 2

That was definitely a serious online shout out to the nation! Look its unfortunate that you had to go through abuse. It really is. I hope you can recover from this and learn to have a real relationship with someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated and actually love you. Men and women who are abusive often times were abused themselves. Or they were around it or they suffer from anger and impulse control issues. Some are just straight up sociopaths with no conscience. Its unfortunate that guys like that are out there. But they are. In your case the best way to deal with the trauma of abuse is to get help. Talk to a counselor someone trained to help victims of abuse to recover. You might even find free help at a local battered woman's shelter.

Answer 3

Why are you two in a "relationship"? I think you are too young to know what you want yet! Not because you may be homosexual, because when I was 16....I sure as heck didn't know what I wanted......I thought I did, but the older you get , you realize things aren't as easy as that! You are still a baby, you have alot to learn and alot to give! Be careful, and don't get hooked up in something that might not be so easy to get out of later......I know, we all do that at some point in our lives.....I am just saying , you are young and you need to get out and have fun with your friends.....before you know it your youth will be gone! Not trying to lecture.....maybe give you some helpful advice! Take care and remember You are NO 1!! I feel some thumbs down coming on now!!! LOL!!!

Answer 4

her parents are doing what they feel is the right thing for their daughter, and that does not constitute abuse. If she is 18, she can legally leave their house and strike out on her own, the school bit is an excuse kiddo, if she really wanted to leave, they could not legally stop her.
she knows she needs an education, she knows that if she is going to get anywhere in life, she needs their help to get a start...you should know that too. so get realistic, your friend is there because she knows she needs to be there. when she is ready, she will get out and not before. If you think it is all on her parents, you are a fool, and you are falling for a line. She probably enjoys all the sympathy she gets from you with her stories, but that is all they are, stories. At 18, if she wanted to leave, she could. The bottom line, she doesn't want to screw up her life by trying to get out before she is ready, and she is using you.

Answer 5

If this girl is 18 yrs of age isn't she considered an adult? What state does she live in? In our state at 18 we are considered adults and we make our own decisions. If she is being held hostage in her own home get in contact with child protection and have them check into this situation. As a parent yes we want the best for our children and yes we can go to extremes. Take Care.

Answer 6

Hi

I understand what you feel. I know it's hard and I wish you both strength to overcome this problem.

I'm sorry to say but it's her call not yours. The best you can do is fight for your love and convince her to do the same. It's devastating that the person we fight for "may" not fight back for you. I'm not saying that she will "not" but she also has priorities, and if her priorities are her family then I don't think you could do much about it but to compromise with the situation.

You're still young and a lot will still be learned. But for the meantime be creative and think of solutions on how you can "compromise" with the situation. Make sure you will not get caught because it will worsen the problem.

Good luck and I wish you both the best :)

Answer 7

Its important that she gets her education but in most states 18 your legal age and dont really have to stay where you dont want to stay and thats the law.Maybe she has no other place to go,or no money and that happens to many young people.As far as the emotional abuse goes she needs to let them know how she feels and what it is doing to her.If that doesnt help she needs to seek help in finding away to move out on her own.The law is the law.

Answer 8

her parents need to chill out, and she should just get a good job and move out. Maybe u can help her.

Answer 9

She is over 18 her folks do not "own" her any more......