First off, I'm in my early 30's. Met a guy at a coffee shop; we hit it off - ended up talking for two hours - it was so comfy I felt like I was talking to my best bud. This doesn't happen much for 30 yo's, especially being TOTALLY MUTUALLY attracted to eachother. Well, we set a late date cuz we wanted to see eachother even tho we had other plans that were already set. My plans involved playing poker with my girls and drinking. By the time he got to my place, I had more to drink than I realized. We had a great time but 2 good of time (we stopped at sleeping 2gether) I called the next day saying how humiliated & sorry I was & he said he couldn't pursue the relationship because of what happened. And that he couldn't start from the beginning after so much had already happened. Told me how gorgeous I was & it was a hard decision but he just wasn't that kinda man. I wanna write him an email tellin him please gimme a 2nd chance and we could pretend nothing happened.....WHAT DO I DO?
2007-11-03 14:51:07 · 26 answers · asked by JosieJo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey...move on. While you guys had a great coffee shop chat, it's not like you have invested days, weeks, months or years in this guy. Don't go chasing him, he should be chasing you. Don't go after guys, make they go after you. You'll end up with a better relationship when the guy is head over heels with you.
If he cannot accept a party nite out, he's not your type. There's nothing wrong with getting together with the girls and having some fun. He's being very judgemental of you, versus looking at it like, she likes to have fun with the gals. It's not like you have a drinking prob, we all have a little too much sometimes. But, it sounds like he is uptight about this (for whatever reason). If he's so uptight about drinking, guess what, he's gonna try to change you and tell you to never drink. You don't want that. You should be able to have a few drinks from time to time, even if it's just 1 x per year.
Move on, there's a guy out there that will appreciate you for who you really are. This guy isn't giving you the chance. Since you never really got stated with him, there's nothing to be bummed about. He's not your guy. Just chalk it up as a fun nite out. He was just out to get some and move on. You just ran into a bad seed with a very charming and convincing game face.
2007-11-03 14:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by Susan N 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well u probably shouldnt have called him the next day acting all humiliated. Always act confident, even if you are not inside. As for this guy, he is just as much to blame for what happened as you are. It takes two to tango. I think it is just his cop-out. Maybe all he was looking for was sex anyway. I know it hurts and is hard to overcome. But really try to move on and not waste anymore time worrying about this loser.
2007-11-03 15:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should bother worrying about this guy....who appears to be a man who judges you harshly despite his own participation in whatever went down....
and if you truly had more to drink than you realised i am sure that he noticed, and so he therefore took advantage of a drunk woman....is that a class act guy there?
he says that he isnt "that kinda man" but he is exactly "that kind" a judgmental jerk...and yu shouldnt throw yourself on him or beg for more of his BS....
2007-11-03 15:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by blackcheri32 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should do nothing. You messed up and either he will forgive you or not. Why should you continue with some one who will not forgive anyway? Blue (the cat) says that is not a building block for a relationship. Forgiving some one for a mistake is a important item. It comes under the list of are we humans??? Chuck him out. Blue says there is always another Tom in the world. Get some one who will take "I am sorry" for real. He is not your man.
2007-11-03 14:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by fnbug 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd let it rest for a week,see if he simmers over being alittle to quick to judge!
But if he does call I would be careful of any drinking before ,during,or after.
I can't imagine he wouldn't ,after you seemed to hit it off so well.
If he doesnt' ,he may be to judgemental.He did you a favor!
Good Luck!
2007-11-03 14:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by need2know 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh how sad. I mean it seriously. The bad part is he played an equal part in the fooling around and now he regrets it! Was it the drinking part or the almost sex part that bothers him? I say approach him again in a sober/non sexual way.What do you have to lose. If he can't get over it then... Good Luck!!
2007-11-03 14:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lesson learned. He's already said that he didn't want to pursue the relationship. Don't make yourself look desperate by calling him constantly. If he reconsiders I'm sure he'll call you.
2007-11-03 14:55:54 · answer #7 · answered by dormi22 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it was the effect of booze that got you the way you were and that your not that kinda woman...
Altho, its no excuse, but booze does effect us in the wrong way at times...
If he doesnt respond or isnt interested... There isnt much you can really do...
Good Luck
2007-11-03 14:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by Inquiring Mind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use this as a learning experience and move on. You made a choice to drink and this is the consequence. You lost a good guy.
Maybe this should be the incentive to stop drinking.
2007-11-03 14:55:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
he who `cares the lease..... wins! ( lex and terry radio show) it is not your fault....he was the there too! He is the same as you! Don't let him put a guilt trip on you!!!!! Remember just because he is a "guy" doesn't mean if you had sex that it is your fault!!!! It was the moment! and it was the both of you! Good Luck!!! Remember it is not you it is him too!!!!!!!!
2007-11-03 15:01:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋