help with greiving dog that won't eat?

Question

my husband, who was very close to our puppy, recently died in a car accident. myself i'm a mess but so is my puppy. he's losing weight, the vet said there is no miracle cure and said it will take time. i just don't know what to do, i have no joy left in me and just can't cheer up our puppy. he doesn't want to eat or play, has become very protective of me and cries when i leave him so i've been taking him with me everywhere i go.
the vet was of no help and made me feel stupid for taking him to the vet for this. i just don't know what to do. i say puppy but he's almost 4 yrs old and weighs about 150lb, he's a great pyr.
this is a very hard time for me so if you don't have a constructive response please do not respond at all...please!
however if you have anything that could help please, PLEASE tell us what we can try.

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your loss.

I think you are doing everything right. You and your puppy need each other now. You can be there for him and vise versa. Just continue to take him everywhere, he needs you, it's no differnt from a human grieving. You can email me if you ever need to talk to anyone!

Answer 2

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what you are going through.

It's true; it will take time for both of you to feel better. However, I think your Vet's response is pretty cold.

I don't know how recently your loss occured, but really, the best thing for you and your "puppy" to do is to continue on with your lives as best you can. He really does take his cues from you. Not only that but he probably feels responsible for you now and may be worried that you may never come home, either.

Honestly, exercise - and a lot of it - would be great for both of you. Good, long walks a couple of times a day, visits to the dog park, these are things you can do together to help you heal.

This is a pretty special circumstance, so if possible, contact an animal behaviorist to see what else they suggest for you and your dog. You've got to be able to leave him alone sometimes so that'll require some specific steps to make it easier for him.

And as tough as it is, if you can try to keep your voice "up" and somewhat happy (I know - so hard right now) then he will eventually take that cue from you.

Warren Eckstein is a genius with this kind of thing. Here's his web site: thepetshow.com
Even if he doesn't broadcast in your area, I don't see why you couldn't call in anyway and tell him about your situation. You could email him, too. He's really terrific and has had experience in this area (he lost his wife and then it was just him and his dog)

All the best to you and your puppy. I know you both will come out of this alright.

Answer 3

So sorry to hear of your loss. I think you need to seek grief counseling for you. You puppy is feeling your grief and I believe he is feeding off of you. My suggestion is get him back the to usual routine of course with your husband now being gone it will change some. But all the changes including you taking him every where can feed in his insecurities. He's needs to know that you are going to come back home. I'm just giving you my honest opinion, I'm not saying you need counseling in a bad way but maybe to help your grieving process, as I think it is affecting your puppy. I feel for you, and a heart felt sorry this has happened to you and yours. Hope I helped. Also maybe taking him for a walk or if he has a favorite game try to get him to do it if only for a short time once a day. Please check into another vet with better bed side manners.Don't get me wrong I'm sure he is grieving for his own loss too.

Answer 4

I had a pair of male chihuahuas and the 18 year old died. My 7 year old chihuahua was bereft for about 3 weeks. He refused to eat, couldn't sleep, he laid at the other dog's grave in the back yard for days. I just spent a lot of time with him. I talked to him and pet him. I let him sleep on a pillow near my head where I could continually touch him. I also took him with me every time I left the house so he was not alone too much. Like humans who are grieving, time is what heals the wounds. I think the dog grieved a shorter time than I did but at least we had each other. Just keep loving her. Give her a few more weeks. She will eat when she is hungry. I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

I am so sorry about your husband. Of course this is a terrible time for both of you, and you understand why he is losing weight--you probably are, too.

Water is more important than food. Keep checking for dehydration, i.e., grab the skin above his spine, pull up and let go. It should snap back quickly. If he is dehydrated and won't drink, then you have to give him injections to replenish fluids. You'll need to get supplies from the vet; ask the vet to watch you do the first injection.

Ask the vet how low puppy's weight can go before he needs to be syringe-fed. This is so unpleasant, you'll feel like it's breaking both your hearts all over again, but it has to be done. If you know somebody who has had to force-feed a dog, have her demonstrate.

The only treatment for death is new life. When my father died and I was staying at my mother's, every morning I made some excuse to put my baby in bed with her ("I want to take a shower", "I need to buy formula", etc.). Mom still cried, but she talked it out with the baby and I know it helped.

Perhaps if you took puppy to the playground in the park, or volunteered to foster a puppy waiting for adoption...

Answer 6

Dogs understand a lot more than we think they do. All the dog knows at this point it the person he played with is not there any more. Talk to him, tell him what happened, and that he can't come back. He will understand. Tell him him not eating won't help the situation, and there is no sense in him making himself sick, it isn't his fault. I bet he will respond.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now and that your puppy is missing your husband, but it is also picking up your sadness as well. I know it's not going to be easy but what you might try is taking the puppy to new places, walk him to a different park, find a dog park you haven't been too. This is so the puppy can associate good times with you as he did with your husband. Good luck I hope everything works out for you.

jf_14

Answer 8

I think the two of you need each other. Neither of you feel joy. That is normal and you can console each other.
I suggest both of you take your time with the grief. Likely your dog will recover much quicker than you.
Just hug him, sleep with him, talk to him.
It's a trite saying but time will heal you and your dog.
I've been in your place. Seeing the dog grieving just made my grief worse. We both got thru it together.
I took a lot of long baths and lots of long walks. It took a very long time before I was even close to my former self. It helped to have to care for my dog. Gave me a reason for going on.

Answer 9

i am so sorry for your loss!!your dog is grieving,too!your dog needs comfort,too!just as you do!your dog feels your pain and is crying on the inside,too!it will take time,but in the meantime,is there a child that would play with him?children can heal alot of things!
take your dog everywhere you go,till he's sure that YOU are going to come back....he's scared that he is going to lose you,too[just as a child would be]
also,if you can find another dog,maybe a friend's dog that you could walk together then when it's time to eat,feed them together,sometimes this works!
[i had a sick dog who wouldn't eat,and i brought my other dog,and fed them together,at first,my sick dog didn't eat,but then he started to eat,cause the other dog was eating.]
i hope this works for you!
sorry again,for your loss,and love that puppy more,cause your husband was very close to it,and your "puppy"needs your comfort and support,you can support each other!

Answer 10

My vet gives the animals that are recovering from surgeries, baby food. You might want to try buying some meat baby food and giving her that. It will take a lot for her being such a big dog, but I would try a jar and see. God Bless you and your puppy. I am so sorry for your loss. There is also this big tube feeder that is like a giant syringe if you want to try force feeding if it comes to that. Go to my 360 page and email me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck!