according to the torah?

Question

are the jewish people only supposed to befriend other jewish people?

Answer 1

No. There is a tendency among some Jews (especially the more observant ones), to associate primarily with other Jews, but there are reasons for this. One is that certain religious precepts render such friendships difficult. We're only allowed to eat food that is kosher (fit for consumption according to Torah Law). The laws of kashrus (what makes foods kosher or not) are very complex, and suffice it to say that we can't eat at the vast majority of restaurants or houses. I can't even eat at the houses of most other Jews, because the majority of Jews do not keep kosher. So if we're invited to a meal or some sort of party involving food at someone's house or at a restaurant, well, we simply can't partake, and under any normal circumstances, we can't even set foot in a non-kosher restaurant and risk giving the false impression that we eat there, or that it's okay for a Jew to eat there. (There's a whole concept in Jewish law called "maaris ayin," based on the problems inherent in a Jew doing something that's not itself forbidden, but that would give another Jew the impression that something that is actually forbidden is not.) So like I said, we can't partake. And it's nothing personal, but unfortunately some people do take it personally (non-religious Jews especially, because they're more inclined to think that we think that we're somehow 'better than them,' G-d forbid). This isn't everyone though. I have this one former boss, not Jewish but definitely a friend of mine (no Torah violations here), sweetest lady in the world. The office where I worked had a small in-office party to welcome the new employees and interns. So, cake was served, but of course, the cake wasn't kosher. My boss happened to know what a heksher (kosher certification logo) looked like, so based on that, she got a bag of those fancy Peppridge Farms cookies, which are kosher, with me in mind so that I wouldn't feel left out.

Okay, so let me try to give you the bottom line. A Jew is supposed to have cordial relations with his or her non-Jewish neighbors. Obviously in a time and place where Jews are actively persecuted, this is not possible. Thank G-d, America today, and the West in general, is not currently in a phase of anti-Semitic persecution. We still get honked at on the street, yelled at, spat at, and have our synagogues and cemetery's defaced by hooligans every now and again - but the folks that pull this kind of crap are thankfully in the minority. This is about as good as things get for us. Sorry, I keep getting sidetracked - you may not have meant to, but with your question you actually stumbled upon a very complex issue.

So, a Jew should have cordial relations with Jew and Gentile alike. But between the Jew and non-Jew there should also be a respectful distance. Wine made by non-Jews is not kosher, partly because of wine's original role in pagan sacrifices. Nowadays of course, most non-Jews aren't bowing down to idols and offering libations. But the law was kept, in part to prevent the type of fraternization that leads to intermarriage. Friendship isn't forbidden in the Torah, but intermarriage is. The reason is simply that a marriage between a Jew and non-Jew isn't spiritually possible. The souls aren't compatible the same way the souls of a brother and sister aren't compatible. It doesn't say anything negative about either - they simply can't marry. And when a Jew and non-Jew do start a family together, the end result 99.999% of the time is that their descendants will not identify as Jews.

The mission of the Jew is to serve as a "light unto the nations," to follow an extremely stringent moral code so that a non-Jew could look at the Jew's behavior and say: "Surely this is a wise and understanding people!" Of course, many of us are not living up to the standard. But that is the standard. As such, it makes sense that Jews should interact with and in some cases befriend non-Jews. In establishing such a friendship, and in being a good friend and living up to the Torah's ideals, a Jew ends up representing, positively, the Jews as a whole, their Torah, and their G-d.

So, to sum up, and, you'll probably wish I'd just cut the rest and said this:

Jewish people are not forbidden to befriend non-Jews according to the Torah. They are however, required to disassociate themselves from idolatry in all its forms, and they are forbidden from intermarrying (marrying a convert to Judaism, though such a person wasn't born Jewish, is totally okay), and therefore, discouraged from the kinds of socialization that lead down that path. Furthermore, there is a tendency among some Jews to associate primarily with Jews based on a common historical, cultural, and religious heritage. Other Jews just "get" us, if that makes any sense.

I hope this answers your question.

Answer 2

No, of course not! I'm Jewish and I have as many non Jewish friends as Jewish ones!

Answer 3

I'm alarmed by some of the awful answers you got here. Jews are free to form friendships with people of all other religions, why wouldn't we be? Judaism maintains that everyone, of every faith, is totally equal.

Answer 4

hmmm..not really...they were supose to keep to thier own kind
most of the time, but they had some limited relations to other peoples.

Answer 5

Their god exercises favoritism so what do u think?

Answer 6

I THINK SO THEY GET KILLED IF THEY HAVE FRIENDS IN OTHER RELIONGS ITHINK DONT GET MAD @ME IF WRONG...