Ways to memorialize and songs about the death of a child?

Question

I ask this with great sadness and regret but my best friend’s 7 year old daughter died yesterday after a downhill struggle that began after a minor surgery in June. The surgery was supposed to relieve her of two of the minor medical issues she was having. It obviously did not do that.

Her mother is in a real loss of what to due for her funeral. Does anyone have any ideas of what to do to memorialize her? She wants to remember her little girl in a special way and can’t think straight. She doesn't want her baby to be forgotton. Also does anyone know of any songs about the death of a child to play at her funeral?

We are all in utter pain and shock and any help would be gladly appreciated.

Thank you.

If anyone is wondering exactly what happened, I gathered my thoughts:
In June she had surgery to correct a problem with her kidneys and to take out her appendix. She had post-op complications after. Mostly respiratory problems. She was put on a ventilator (a machine breathed for her). From June to October she failed to go off the vent 3 times. In that period she coded 5 times. In October she was in multiple organ failure and her body was shutting down. This Wednesday was found that she had pneumonia. Thursday it was decided that she wasn’t going to get better, and she was taken off of life support that evening. She given was oxygen so she could get through the night. She made it, but yesterday morning her oxygen levels started to get low, even though she was being given oxygen. She was taken off of the oxygen and everything. She kept breathing, even though it wasn’t doing any good, and slowly suffocated to death. Yes, all that for something that was supposed to make her feel better.

Answer 1

There are no words that can console you and your friend at a time like this.

A wonderful way to memorialize a child is to donate books (especially her favorites) to her school or church library. Put in a book plate that says "This book is donated in the memory of (child's name) who made a difference in many lives." and the date of her birth and death (or maybe just the years)

A wonderful song is Sherri Austin's " The Streets of Heaven"

Hello God, it's me again. 2:00 a.m., Room 304.
Visiting hours are over, time for our bedside tug of war.
This sleeping child between us may not make it through the night.
I'm fighting back the tears as she fights for her life.
Well, it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
She's much too young to be on her own:
Barely just turned seven.
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Tell me God, do you remember the wishes that she made,
As she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake?
She wants to ride a pony when she'd big enough.
She wants to marry her Daddy when she's all grown up.

Well, it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
She's much too young to be on her own:
Barely just turned seven.
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Lord, don't you know she's my angel
You got plenty of your own
And I know you hold a place for her
But she's already got a home
Well I don't know if you're listenin'
But praying is all that's left to do
So I ask you Lord have mercy, you lost a son once too

And it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
Lord, I know once you've made up your mind,
There's no use in beggin'.
So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways,
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven.

The streets of Heaven.

http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/sherrie-austin-lyrics.html

Answer 2

I am so, so sorry about your friend's loss. The first thing you could do is enlarge a photo of your friend's daughter. A nice school portrait would do. The funeral home should supply an easel.

You could also put together a collage. I've seen these displayed at funerals, and it's a nice way to remember the deceased. You can include memorable letters, drawings, photos. Anything that highlights who she was.

I think slideshows are also pretty touching if you or someone you know can put one together. The church/funeral home may have more information on this as well.

Last but not least, some songs. You don't necessarily have to play a song about death. You could play a song about a beautiful life. You could maybe try these:

1. She's got a way - Billy Joel (first link in player)
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=125697330

2. Goodnight My Angel - Billy Joel (video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraZEoRnkPc

3. Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSz16ngdsG0

4. Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRsJlAJvOSM

5. Sarah McLachlan - Angel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDkcJ-62uuY

6. Vince Gill - Go Rest High on That Mountain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRyKg5xMaXA

7. Garth Brooks - The Dance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jb9N5qhe6A


I hope these help. Once again, I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

Eric Clapton's song Tears in Heaven is a beautiful song for a child's funeral. He wrote this after the death of his 4 year-old son when he fell out of an open window. My husband and I lost a baby girl last Aug and I set up a memorial for her on a book case. There are pictures, angels, crosses with her name abd birthdate. My sister made a bear at the Bear Mill (Like Build-A-Bear) and the adoption papers have our daughter's name on them.
There are websites where she can put her daughter's name on a online memorial wall. www.angels4ever.com. There is a wall for older infants and children. She can create a free webpage and place the link along with her daughter's name.
I just wanted to add that Josh Grobin's song "To where you are" is a wonderful song. My husband's uncle passed away a few years ago and this was played at his funeral.

Answer 4

Wow, I am really sorry. Have the funeral and invite the child's close friends.At the funeral, instead of focusing on her death, focus on this child's life. Sing some of her favorite songs and share memories of the child before all this happened.

Also you and the child's mother may want to plant a tree or something like that in her name, at her school or somewhere, so no one will forget the child.

Answer 5

These are songs that at different times help me through the 5 Stages of dealing with the death of my daughter.
Songs-
Maraih Carey/Boyz II Men – One Sweet Day Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live
Boyz II Men- It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday Tim McGraw – Please Remember Me
Avril Lavigne – Wish You Were Here Jo Dee Messina & Tim McGraw -
Avril Lavigne- Remember When Bring on the Rain
Avril Lavigne- Goodbye U2 –Sunday Bloody Sunday/
Linkin Park – In the End -Beautiful Day
Linkin Park – Given Up -One
Linkin Park – Numb Eric Clapton – Tears In Heaven
Anna Nalick- Breathe Just Breathe Led Zeppelin – Stairway To Heaven
Snow Patrol- Chasing Cars The Cure – Just Like Heaven/
Nickelbak- If Today Was your Last Day The Psychedelic Furs –Angels Don’t Cry -Pictures Of You
Boyz II Men – End Of The Road Steven Tyler – I Don’t Want To Miss A
Rascal Flatts- What Hurts The Most thing
Carrie Underwood- Jesus Take The Wheel Moving Pictures- What About Me
Eric Clapton- Knocking on Heaven’s Door Stevie Nicks - Landslide
Steve Winwood - Back In The High Life Again REM- Everybody Hurts
My Chemical Romance – Helena One Direction- Story Of My Life
Green Day – Basket Case RedHotChilliPeppers-Scar Tissue
Green Day Boulevard Of Broken Dreams Alabama- Angels Among Us
Green Day- Wake Me Up When September Ends. . . If Ever You’re In My Arms Again
Green Day – Brain Stew/ Jaded Harry Chapin-Cats In The Craddle
Kenny Chesney – There Goes My Life SarahMcLachlan-In The Arms Of An
Tim Mcgraw – Don’t Take The Girl Angel
Tim McGraw – Live Like You Were Dying

Answer 6

Photo slideshows of happier times, at my friends sons' funeral their were memory things provided. Who ever wanted to share their favorite memory of the child w/ the family wrote them down on the paper and they were all collected in baskets for the family to read afterward.
Our school also had a balloon release in his memory on the last day of school.
My heart goes out to all of you, the death of a child is the hardest for any parent. Losing my friends son is still not real to me sometimes.
Butterfly's are a wonderful way to remember someone you've lost, it's said that when a butterfly lands on you it's an angel kiss from them.

Answer 7

They can be. Music is and has often been linked to emotional matters and many of the great writers of history have spoken of it as such. I also find that music is often good at arousing feelings in the listener, even when one cannot personally identify with the words of a song or the thematic content. For example I can think of the song "Forever Autumn" (which is included in the "War of the Worlds" musical) and appreciate the feelings of sadness and longing just from the tune, even though I've never lost a lover (or had one to lose). I frankly don't have a song at the moment, though I have a tune in my head...

Answer 8

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Ways to memorialize and songs about the death of a child?
I ask this with great sadness and regret but my best friend’s 7 year old daughter died yesterday after a downhill struggle that began after a minor surgery in June. The surgery was supposed to relieve her of two of the minor medical issues she was having. It obviously did not do that.

Her...

Answer 9

I am sorry for your friends loss. The loss of a child is the worst I hear. I hope I never have to experiance that ever.

There is a song called Jesus has rocking chairs in heaven. It is a country song and for the life of me I cannot remember who sings it, but it is a popular song to sing at childrens funeral for eight years of age and less. Children at that age still like to sit in thier parents laps.

Six years ago, a little boy at our church died after a minor surgery on his eyes. No one is really sure what went on, but they sang that song at the funeral, he was three.

They decorated the room he was in, in his favorite movie charcter, which was Toy story. His favorite charcter was Buzz light year. When they moved his tiny coffin in the sanctuary of the funeral parlor, they put a buzz light year comfiter over him, and they put his favorite stuffed toy in his arms. It was sad and touching at the same time.

The most beautiful thing of all I think is all the laters and cards family and friends wrote and put in with him. They were gathered by the family just before his barrial. We had never seen anything like this before in our lives. I had never been to another childs funeral other than a new born child.

I hope that this helps. Again I am sorry.

Answer 10

im so sorry 4 the loss god is with u at this horrilbe times
this is a great poem 2 me

funeral blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead,
Put crépe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought that love would last forever: 'I was wrong'

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

this is a great poem