Is it ok to sleep at hotel when visiting my relatives?

Question

I'm 23 and invited to my cousins for thanksgiving, he always has me sleep on a box like sofa with an open door, everyone walks by and stares at me.
Then his wifes family i dont get along with, their rude and drink too much.
I prefer to have thanksgiving dinner, take sightseeing alone, then sleep in my hotel and leave in the morning,
is this ok?
I told my cousin my plans, he was hysterical and insisted i sleep at his house, he forced me for one hour on the phone that i must sleep at his house, i explained how uncomfortable it is, he says its only one night.
i persisted i didnt want to, he hung up the phone on me,
i called him back and in a low voice he said go stay at the hotel.
im also driving 5 hours.
should i cancel all together since hes so rude?

why is he mad?

I'm a woman and i dont want to sleep on a box with 30 people walking by and looking at me in my underwear and also his wife slams drawers at 7 am to wake me up

i explained this to him and he wouldnt hear it

the 30 people are mostly his wives relatives who come over very early the next day and alot do sleep over in private rooms

Answer 1

I don't see the problem either. I have a lot of friends who do that because they want the freedom to come and go and do other things. Not just hang out with the relatives. I'm not sure I'd cancel out entirely but if I were you I'd stick to my guns and get the hotel. The freedom to come and go and do what you want would be worth it.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with staying at a hotel when visiting relatives. In fact, in may cases, I have preferred it that way, and people who are truly caring and understanding should not have an issue with that. I think your cousin is upset at the fact that you do not feel comfortable staying at his place, and that it somehow reflects on him personally. In your case, you might want to consider alternate plans at this point- simply because your being there is going to be an awkward situation regardless of where you end up staying. If you decide to spend Thanksgiving with people other than him and his wife's family, tell him the exact reason why- with no ifs, ands, or buts. Perhaps, in the years to come, it may get him to clean up his act. And if he drops you, then he's not worth the effort.

Answer 3

You have the right to stay where you want and frankly a hotel is almost always better. Accommodations at family's homes aren't always comfortable and people don't usually take offense. I find it a little strange that you cousin is so vehement about something so inconsequential. Even more the reason and choice to stay elsewhere. With all this said, it doesn't sound like Thanksgiving is going to be very pleasant especially after a 5 hr. drive.

Answer 4

I don't think there is any other family who enjoys having family sleep over. I would be SO happy if people who were visiting me stayed in a hotel. If they feel insulted that you don't feel comfortable sleeping in plain view in the middle of the house, they are probably taking it out on you that they are embarrassed by their lack of accommodations. Just go for Thanksgiving, stay in a hotel, and don't worry.

Answer 5

He probably dreams of family holidays full of merriment and togetherness (like we see on TV) and think guest sleeping over is essential. The unfortunate reality is that he doesn't have a comfortable place for you. His wife doesn't seem too pleasant slamming drawers. I'd stay in the hotel.

Recently I stayed on my MIL's couch, they stay up late, watch TV and play folk music loudly. Also her boyfriend gets up every night and eats and drinks straight from the fridge. Gross, I couldn't eat their food after I learned that. Their house is small and you can't get anywhere without walking by the couch, he'd often step on my blankets. And they never closed their bedroom door so I could hear them snoring and smell their old people farts. LOL.

Answer 6

What the heck is his big,fat problem? I would love it if my husband's visiting relatives stayed at a hotel. Explain to your cousin that you really don't want to intrude, and you'd be much more comfy at a hotel. Where does everyone else stay? Who are these 30 people traipsing in and out? Are they all staying at his house?

Answer 7

Your cousin was rude to flip on you like that. Simply tell him that you would be more comfortable at a hotel, and that's it. You can try muttering something about your sleep schedule, and how you don't want to disturb them by going to bed / waking up early (or late).

Answer 8

It's more than okay.

Rather than talk about comfort (which potentially insults your host), I might have come up with something a bit more diplomatic.

"This is really embarassing, but I've been having nightmares lately and I get kind of loud. I don't want to freak everyone out in the middle of the night."

It saves his feelings, you are covered, and life is good.

Answer 9

We always get a hotel when we go home for the Holiday's, no biggie, less stress on everyone. But may I suggest if you do sleep on the box...wear pj's and not your underwear. That may be what's pissing his wife off.

Answer 10

It is definitely ok to stay at a hotel. Thank them for offering to let you stay at their home, but tell them you will be more comfortable at a hotel. Don't be rude, but stand your ground.