Sorry this is off-topic, but I just had a little incident here at our shop. I am here alone and a little while ago a kind of creepy guy came in and started getting "fresh" with me... telling me I should "display" more and that I'm a good-looking woman. When I told him I needed to call my husband he said "don't tell him I'm here!" and he comes and sits right by me on a stool... I was THIS close to pepper-spraying him (we have some handy just for such possibilities) when a couple came into the shop. I was never so happy to see people.... he gave them a dirty look and then left. My question is, ladies, would you have waited, or would you have sprayed the guy right when he started saying suggestive things? If he comes back I'm asking him to leave, and if he refuses I'll spray him and call the cops! My husband went around the neighborhood looking to see if he could spot someone who fit the description but no luck.
2007-11-03 11:06:32 · 17 answers · asked by Cheryl E 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He sounds dangerous!!! Be careful.
2007-11-03 11:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have asked him to not sit right next to you, but I think you did the right thing holding off on the pepper spray. But I would definitely make sure you're not alone at the shop anymore in case he or another creep comes back. And keep that pepper spray handy just in case. If the guy comes back, give him a verbal warning about the pepper spray if he gets close....and if he still doesn't listen spray away!!
2007-11-03 18:38:22 · answer #2 · answered by Pineapple Princess 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think I would probably have blatantly taken the spray out so he could see that I had it and said something like "my husband doesn't like it very much when other guys flirt with me" or something to that effect. If he doesn't take the hint and persists in his behaviour, spray away and kick him in an uncomfortable place while you are at it. Just remember tho, that when you respond aggressively he may become aggressive as well, and be prepared for that possibility. I think if you don't have a security camera in there it would be a wise investment for you, so that if you DO have a problem it gets documented accordingly. After all, you never know what kind of sick demented freaks are out there.
2007-11-04 02:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by robin s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use words first. I had a similar incident While Waiting at a Bustop about a year ago a young man was saying some creepy things to me and I just smiled and stood up and walked to the corner (about 20 feet away) he actually said "I didn't say you could leave" I Yelled back at him you aren't my husband, don't speak to me that way" he left me alone and a few days later he actually apologized.
Be clear with yourself first. Unless a man is your husband, father, or confesser they have no grounds to speak with you on anything personal. This is true on a biblical and Legal level as well. Telling an out of line man so can be frightening but also very empowering.
2007-11-03 18:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by rabidkitty 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What he did is way out of line. I wouldnt have let him sit by me. I would have probably pepper sprayed him. You cant be too careful. And he prob. wont be bothering you again if you inform the cops of this. I would have tried to tell him to leave, or ignored him, or tried removing myself from the situation as much as possible, and if he was relentless I would have pepper sprayed him and called the cops.
2007-11-03 18:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by Barefoot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have moved when he came in closer and if he continued to invade my space I would have said something along the lines of "back the ******* dude or I'm going to twist your balls after I pepper spray you"
And I would.
When you do or say nothing you are giving him the signal that he can do and say as he pleases because you haven't told him otherwise.
Stop being *nice* when you feel threatened be proactive and stand up for yourself.
2007-11-03 23:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I probably would not have sprayed him at that point, but I would have asked him to leave at the point that I NEEDED to call my husband and I would have proceeded in picking up the phone.
Coulda, Woulda Shoulda now though, so I agree with you, at the very sight of him next time, don't let him in. Ask him to leave and if he refuses, I would show him that you are armed (pepper spray).
2007-11-03 18:11:22 · answer #7 · answered by Indya M 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most women wait until it is too late. We are trained to be polite and that is often our undoing. Spray that MF and then kick him while he's down! (Sexual violence toward women is epidemic!) Then, call the cops, not your husband. You can call him once you are safe. You are a big bad Witch, don't let them ever think otherwise.
2007-11-03 19:06:49 · answer #8 · answered by Glee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are married and you are not interested in him. And that he is making you uncomfortable. If he refuses to leave you alone spray him and then call the cops.
2007-11-03 18:14:32 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would call the police now and just say that a suspicious person was in your shop and give them the description..you never know, he might be looking for a target and your phone call could save someone else.
Be safe..and keep the pepperspray close.
2007-11-03 18:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl S 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women are raised to be polite, men are usually more direct. So sometimes you have to be very direct with them. If it happens again, tell him directly that his comments and behavior are not acceptable and he should leave. If he does not leave, spray him and call 911.
2007-11-03 18:22:09 · answer #11 · answered by leslie b 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋