Help? My sister in law is a fundie churchie type who loves to bash?

Question

liberals. You know the type of hate mail and lies that circulate the internet. The problem is that we are liberals. My son-in-law is in the military and he and my daughters are also liberals.

This sister in law recently sent them (my daughter & husband) some nonesense posting about how liberals are betraying the military, undermining the troops and aiding terrorists! Yes, she sent that to a liberal, military family.

My daughter was so mad, she didn't know what to do. My problem is that my family has been through quite a bit of hell over this war, and these hate mails really hurt and add unnecessary stress to an already difficult situation.

Now she, and all my husband's family, are begging us to come to a get together and I just don't feel comfortable going. I don't know if she's being intentionally cruel and hurtful, but I can't just not say anything anymore . I don't want to confront her at the reunions and ruin it.

It is ok that I just not attend?

Answer 1

If you want to see other people don't let her stop you from attending. don;t give her that kind of control in your life.

I would just ignore her. If she tries to engage you I would simply tell her you wish to speak to someone who walks the walk of a REAL Christian American (ie love and freedom of thought and difference of opinion) and not someone who talks a twisted talk and then walk away and enjoy yourself with your the members who are really your family.

Answer 2

It is perfectly okay for you to not attend. In fact, I'd encourage it. Perhaps she'd even get the hint that you're not happy and you won't tolerate comments like that towards your family. Saying that your family is aiding terrorists IS being cruel and hurtful, whether she intended it that way or not--and sometimes, actions speak louder than words. I'd say you should let your sister know that she hurt your feelings in whatever way you're comfortable with, and then quit attending her cook-outs, family get-togethers or whatever else. Perhaps she'll get over it, and maybe the both of you can eventually discuss your political differences civilly. If not, perhaps it would be best if you didn't see each other too often. I know I wouldn't talk to my brother if he accused my family of being terrorists because we're liberals.

Answer 3

i have the same dilemma... but in reverse... my family is liberal with only one family member now among them that used to attend a liberal leaning church.

when recently they decided.. after years of not inviting me to family time events. they extended the hand of family fellowship.

i was curious and gave the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they had changed in their attitude towards me....
but there had been a significant clash [tag team put down against the facts i gave concerning a subject that was not personally toward them, but meant as giving the side of the story that they obviously had not heard].

i had lived among them and developed a habit of keeping quiet when they took turns giving out their opinions on things. then later in life i discovered that i have a right to give my views and opinions just as they allow for themselves.

because i had exercised my right to speak.... i thought i'd not be hearing from them again... until i got another invitation. and i am now wondering if i should attend again.

i am wondering why they invite after what happened the last time. should i go and keep my mouth shut when they air their one sided views?
or should i instead enjoy a quiet pleasant day with other relatives who do not censure (harshly or otherwise) those that they invite.

i hope that you can make a decision that is most comfortable for you.
.

btw... 3 of my brothers were in the military. 1 Navy.. 1 Marine.. 1 army.

alot of what is heard on the internet is inaccurate.... even news media reports about what's happening over in Iraq concerning the American troops there.

if i was to take it out on anyone... i would take it out on the media.
.

Answer 4

While there is a very small bit of validity to some of the complaints regarding liberals as hurting the military boys with some of their talk, (normally some little bit of truth to stories), she is way out of line. You al need to tell her it really hurts you to hear that stuff. You need to lay it all out there for her, and ask her to stop as it hurts the family at large.

Whatever you do, do not avoid going to family functions. Seek support from other, like minded family members and go.

God bless you and everyone in the military as well as you as your family.

Answer 5

I wouldn't attend if it's going to cause that much drama. If you do, just tell her that only insecure people have to put others down to make themselves feel better, and never speak to her again.

Fundies usually have big self-esteem problems, and that's why they're so drawn to the absolutism you find in fundamentalist religions of all sorts. These sorts of absolutes provide security for very insecure people.

Tell her exactly why you don't feel comfortable going. It's best to air these feelings, especially when someone sends you harassing mail.

Answer 6

edit: I wonder if "The Queen Has Spoken" commends soldiers if they also happen to be Liberals who think that we should get the hell out of Iraq and that we never should have been there in the first place? My husband is one such soldier.

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Family or not, religious or not, this woman does not sound like a very nice person. If you don't want to go, then don't.

I would also start sending her liberal e-mail. Lots and lots of it.

Answer 7

The best button on the keyboard is called Delete.......

go to the reunion and just not talk to your sister in law.....

In general I agree that the liberals in congress Are Betraying the Military... by demanding an exist date from the war.

We have a 100% voluntary military,. And I commend each every man and woman who is in the military..... And their famiies for the sacrifices they make for our country and governemt.

Answer 8

Yes we had a similiar problem. You aren't going to change her minds so it is better to stay away from her. I would have my husband tell her that she is welcome to her opinion but that she is hurting your child by sharing it and to keep it to herself.

Answer 9

Nothing like a hypocrite.

Answer 10

just tell her god doesnt like hypocrites