I am 38 weeks and will be delivering any day now. My babies Father has not told his parents because he is afraid that they will stop paying for his tuition for college. If you ask me, I think thats just him trying to by the cheap way out of things. But My question to you is, should i tell his parents myself, since he isnt going to, or should I let him wait til he graduates and then tell his parents? I feel as if I owe it to my unborn son to let his other grandparents know about him. After all, they may never find out, and I dont want my son looking at me like i didnt try. HELP!!
2007-11-03 07:35:07 · 19 answers · asked by Chaunetrelle H 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Personally, I think it is wrong that he doesn't want to step up and take responsibility for his actions. You have to change your plans to have the baby, why should he get off like he didn't have any part in it? I understand that his parents are paying for his tuition, but is he sure that his parents would have a negative reaction? Also, if he is close to graduating, it may be in the baby's best interest if he completes college and gets a degree to help financially. However, if he isn't a senior, then that is a whole other story - that would be wrong for you to try to do just about everything on your own, especially since you implied that he is trying to find the "cheap way out of things."
Another way to look at it is, would his parents be mad if they didn't find out - if you kept such a huge thing a secret? I think most parents would be angry at that alone - more than they would be if they found out now. I think you should tell them. Obviously they haven't seen you to know that you are about to have a baby any day now. If you know where they live, do it in person. It is too big of an issue to say over the phone or email. Maybe they won't react as bad as you think . . . or maybe they will . . .you'll never know unless you try. Usually how we picture the worse case scenario, in reality ends up never being as bad as we think. Like you said, at least you can say you tried - and you really should. At this point, you have nothing to lose if he doesn't want to take responsibity or hide from his parents what he is ashamed of or embarrassed of. I'm not a mother yet (though I look forward to the day), but I know a beautiful baby is nothing to be ashamed of, even if that baby was an accident. Good luck with everything.
2007-11-03 07:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by crazypelo77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your baby's daddy is a little immature. He needs to tell his parents that he will soon be a father. I cant imagine why they would cut off his tuition at a point where he will need to be able to get a good job to support his son. They most probably will be surprised but need some time to get used to being grandparents. He should not deny them being able to be a part of this child's life from birth on. If they choose not to be involved, then at least he has done the right thing. Its time for him to grow up and start acting like an adult. Sometime we have to do difficult things in life because they are the right things to do.
2007-11-03 07:48:01 · answer #2 · answered by Diane M 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The babies father sounds a little selfish, immature and in denial if you ask me.
I can't imagine anyone waiting this long to tell their parents. I don't care what the reason is. I also can't imagine he thinks they won't figure it out after the baby comes. What is he going to do, hide you and the baby from his family? Is he planning to leave you? I mean, something is definitely up here. I'm surprised you've waited this long with such a tempting topic.
I don't have any good advice for you because I obviously dont know the whole story. All I do know is what I said in the first sentence is most likely true.
Good Luck.
2007-11-04 05:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by sweetypie9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him how serious you are about his parents knowing. why is he so ashamed of you being pregnant?? I can understand that he's afraid of his parents not paying for his tuition anymore, but his parents should be proud that you didn't just whimp out and get an abortion, and that you are actually giving them a grandchild. that's a touch situation... I'm guessing his parents have never seen you because they would have seen you pregnant and known then, so you're not really in the position to be telling them. If he doesn't tell soon, I think you should wait until the baby is born and then tell them, because he will be so happy with the baby he won't be so worried.
i hope you can figure out what to do! I'll be praying for you :-)
2007-11-03 09:21:07 · answer #4 · answered by Noelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ive been in your shoes and it wasnt fun but i sat him down and told him how unfair it was to our child and his parents i also told him if he didnt do it i would he didnt and it wasnt until i followed through with what i said i would do that i found out why. i am so cautiout in my realionships that i told him that i wanted to see his divorce papers which he brought to me and showed me they were real but he forgot to mention that he had remarried the same woman and was now separated from her again what a fool i was. anyway i was in the travel agency one day and i knew what his mother looked like i asked if she was mrs so and so and if this guy was her son [didnt want any more mistakes] she said yes to both and at that point i interduced her to her newest grandson and laid him in her arms she was so happy after being slightly shocked and told me he couldnt deny this child as he looked just like him needless to say he wasnt very happy but that was too bad his mother was so happy to have a new grandbaby that was 17 years ago and i have never regretted it and neither has my son his grandmother and finally his father as i had the guts to do something the coward couldnt seem to do good luck but be prepared for his reaction and grandma might not want to open herself and her heart untill she knows this baby is his so i hope u dont have a problem getting a paternity test, especially if he is that afraid of his parents reaction
2007-11-03 08:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by Dale T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever met the parents? Do they know about you at all? If they do, the blow would be easier. He should be telling them, of course. If I were in your shoes, I would tell him that I understand he doesn't want to tell his parents, but that he NEEDS to tell his parents. They can't NOT know about their grandchild, that is just wrong. If he still chooses not to tell them, then I would. I would want to know if I had a grandchild out there, no matter what I thought of the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy/relationship. Good luck. A tough thing to do, I know.
2007-11-03 07:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by Christine 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
i would that is his responsibility too...and if they get mad at least you can tell your child that you tried. I would not let a jerk like that get away with something like that. Don't make it that easy on him...He helped you make that baby and now he doesn't want to take care of it? Teach him a lesson...it's not fair to you that you have to raise the baby alone...who cares if his dad stops paying for his tuition..maybe he will learn to be a man.
2007-11-03 07:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Natalie's mommy ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell his parents, since he is acting like he is scared to tell them himself. Your child's father is acting like a fool, putting his college tuition over telling his parents. In my opinion, you guys should have told them months ago, instead of waiting until you are almost due, to tell them.
2007-11-03 08:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by kat_kris2001 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend he needs to tell his parents. your already going to have the baby right, so the damage has been done and what can they do? He's been going to school still right? kept his grades desent? I don't think his parents would even think about taking away his tuiton, exspecially beause he's going to be a daddy!
2007-11-03 07:42:42 · answer #9 · answered by tricksy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is up to him to tell them. Make him aware of this, if he is going to be a father and in a "grown up" kind of relationship then he cannot rely on mommy and daddy to take care of him forever. His behavior is immature and selfish
2007-11-03 07:44:59 · answer #10 · answered by lizards 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋