My mom died last Nov. 11.And it's really sad because that days coming up.But my dad is on Eharmony.com?

Question

and on Match.com but he wont tell me or my brothers that he is.We know becuase we've seen him on it before but he always says he is going out with some of his buddies when he is really going on a date.And I don't want him to get re-married.I am so sad because Nov. 11 is 5 days after my b-day and it just puts a whole damper on my BIRTHDAY..what should i do?
nobobdy in my family really likes to talk about my mom that much and i feel like i am losing our memories together....how can i remember her?

Answer 1

wish him the best and have a great birthday!

Answer 2

My Mother died Oct. 11. her birthday was Nov.22. And, my dad and hers anniversary was Nov 10, so I have alot of memories this time of the year.Your Dad is lonely and need companionship that he can't get from the rest of the family.You will never lose your Mother's memories. She lives in your heart, doesn't she? Maybe you can start a tradition of setting off some balloons at her gravesite every year. Those that want to attend can. If you are all alone, it will be your memory.Put a small remembrance in the paper for your Mother. I do that. Take care.

Answer 3

No one has forgotten your Mom; I'm sure the topic is not being talked about simply because it is too painful for people to handle emotionally.

They seek distractions -- a means to escape. Anything to take their mind off the subject.

Obviously you are not the only one suffering this. It appears the others in your family have taken it worse than you have. I say that because you are willing to confront the loss head on; but the others in your family aren't able to yet.

Give them some space. They may need more time than you.

Your father can't run from it forever. He may try dating on the online sites; (also another means of escape)... But sooner or later he will have to come to terms with it in his own way.

Until then, just be patient, and remain strong.

Answer 4

Well, first and foremost, let me start by saying that I am deeply sorry for your loss. Second of all, your family may not be ready to deal with the aspect of her actually being gone, so talking about it really may be difficult. And i completely understand. But just as long as you know that your mothers memory will forever be in your heart, then you will always hold that connection with her. No matter what happens. Its okay to be hurt still, and its perfectly okay to remember her. Think about the good times you had on your birthday with her. Smile, dont frown. As far as your father goes...everybody deserves happiness. And im pretty sure that he hasnt forgotten about her. After all they were married and im pretty sure that he will always love her. So, please keep your head up and if it bothers you that much, talk to your father about it...Im sure he wouldnt mind. Share your thoughts, your feelings, and your fears. Everything will work out fine.

Answer 5

The memories will forever be alive in your heart and in your mind. You will never lose those memories. I understand that you don't want your father on those types of websites, I am going through that too with my mother. And these guys that she meets on there just treat her like crap and are worthless. Your father is greiving in a very different way than you are it sounds like. Trust me when I say you'll never be "ready" for your father to be remarried.

I suggest maybe talking to a counselor that can help you deal with some of the feelings you are having. Or maybe reading up on a couple of books if you don't like the counselor idea.

I hope you try to enjoy your birthday the best you can and keep your chin up, I'm pretty sure its what your mother would want for you.

Answer 6

Your dad is a grown man and can do whatever he wants to and if he wants to start dating again then there is not really anything that you can do. Your dad may never again get married so don't worry so much about that. You will never forget your mother no matter what happens in your life. You will always have her memories. I lost my mother on Nov. 7, 2003 and I will never forgive my family for the things that they did to her.

Answer 7

Losing your mother at any age is tough. When you are young it is especially difficult to adjust and the first anniversary is an especially tough reminder.

Many people like to visit the gravesite on each anniversary and take some of your mother's favorite flower along. Many others will go to a favorite place both liked to visit. A place where both were happy. Many others will go to a quiet place and talk to their loved one. They aren't going to answer, but it is helpful to many to vocalize what things are happening in their lives, especially the good things that are happening with your life.

Your father is dealing with his own loss and grief. He is likely lonely and stressed with having to do all of the things he and your mother did together, alone. He also has needs and desires that you and your brothers cannot fulfill. I'm sure that he misses your mother, but please realize that by dating other women, he is not disrespecting the memory of your mother. That will be with him for the rest of his life.

Answer 8

I'm sorry you lost your mother, but your dad cant spend the rest of his life alone. And just because he is dating doesn't mean that he will get remarried, he may never get remarried. As far as remembering your mom, get photos and make a photo album or scrap book of things that you did together. And some day you can share them with your own children so they can know what kind of woman she was. And I am sure your dad would also like to see what you make.

Answer 9

First of all, I'm so sorry about your mother. Second of all, if it makes you feel better to talk about her, you should, regardless of how everyone else feels. You have every right to talk about her, remember her, smile about her, cry over her, anything you want. Don't let others make you push her aside. Now about your dad... Just as losing a parent is a terrible, horrible thing that no one should go through, losing a spouse is a terribly painful thing. People deal with their pain in a lot of different ways. Some people throw themselves into work, some try to drink their problems away, and some try to surround themselves with others in order to dull the pain. I know it's got to be so painful to watch your dad date, but it may be the only thing that takes his mind off of missing your mother. He obviously doesn't want to hurt you or your brothers, since he's keeping it a secret, and that should mean a lot. You should tell him how feel - that's it hard on you, but you should also try to be supportive. Just as he and your brothers might have a hard time talking about your mom, but they should be supportive of your need to talk about her. And as for your birthday, go out with friends, invite them over, have cake and ice cream, and try to enjoy yourself. It's what your mom would want.

Answer 10

First off I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is never an easy thing. I can understand where your not wanting your father to remarry comes from. But at the same time it is a very selfish thing! If this makes him happy then you should support him! He didn't lose just one person he lost his best friend, his soul mate, his confidant, and his companion!!!! Where you have him to turn to about your mother he has no one to turn to about his loss. By him dating does not mean he will forget about her. I bet he thinks about her every day and before every date. In order for you to remember her, buy a bottle of her favorite perfume so you can remember her scent, keep pictures of her up in your room. Create a scrapbook where you write down memories put in pictures and add items or things that your mother loved. So when you think you can't remember you can turn to those items for reminders.

Answer 11

Get together old pictures and some of her things. You can put together a scrap book and since you feel you cant really talk to anyone about her then whever you want, you can just pull out the book and remember. Also you have to let your dad move on. He cant sit around and be sad forever. Let him try to find someone he can be happy with. Im sure your mother wouldnt want him to be lonely. Anyway, take it easy, your \mom is watching over. Try to celebrate her life, instead of mourning her death. Good luck w everything!