She has had a pretty crappy past and because of that does not trust anyone. I have lied to her a couple times, but only about small things. I know that is terrible, but we have gotten through that. Her friends and her are in like competition with each other, trying to be the best looking or what ever. On halloween, one of her friends dressed like a real slutt and she thinks that I enjoyed it, when in reality i just thought i was disgusting and i the only one i care for is her. She thinks i am just saying that and that if i really did like her or something that i wouldnt tell her. but in reality, i love my girlfriend and only her. thanks for the help.
2007-11-03 07:18:09 · 18 answers · asked by brunzy23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She's VERY insecure so there's not much you can do to prove yourself besides, be as open as you can. Complement her all the time to boost her self esteem [not only in private, but in front of her friends to make her feel like you are completely in love with her no matter who's around] Just make her feel like a queen. Look at her all the time like your madly in love with her. Tell her how you feel about her. hug her & kiss her for no reason at all. If she asks why just say it's because u love her. Simply make her feel like a queen and if you love her as much as you say you do, it wont be that hard to express your feelings to her.
And as far as the lies..... It's the little things [lies] that count. BE HONEST. And if you practice good judgment before you do stupid things, you wont have anthing to lie to her about. good luck!
2007-11-03 07:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by SimplyMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one. Actions do speak louder than words but if she has some serious trust issues then even actions might be taken as something you're just doing to fool her. You just either need to slowly show her that you are not like the ones from her past and don't lie to her anymore :). Or if you don't want to deal with that or can't tolerate being doubted and mistrusted whether it's reasonable or not then just end it.
And who knows, maybe she's lying to you saying she thinks you think that way when in reality she's really happy to hear what you say. I've had that happen before, whole happy on the inside - mean or angry on the outside. It's kind of annoying as it's childish.
2007-11-03 07:28:27 · answer #2 · answered by hurin2020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. This is your girlfriend's issue, not yours. The only thing you can do is never EVER lie to her again. Tell her that it hurts you when she thinks you're being dishonest when you're not. This competition between her and her friends is really unhealthy. I used to have a very good friend who constantly competed with me about everything. Eventually it ruined our friendship.
This seems to me that your girlfriend's friends are trying to get your attention. And it's all the more satisfying if they can rub your girlfriend's face in it.
I don't know what the answer is here, but I do have some recommendations.
1. Counseling for her so that she can deal with her inferiority issues and feelings of worthlessness.
2. Counseling for you two as a couple. I know you love her, but I don't see this working out without professional help.
3. Moratorium on having her friends over. It sounds like she is in a fragile state right now; she shouldn't have to defend herself from these onslaughts.
Best of luck; I'll be thinking of you both.
2007-11-03 07:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw man. It's good to hear that there really are good guys are there. Well since I have been in your gf's shoes before. I think that the best thing you can do is simply not lie about her to anyone and not lie about other girls to her. Seems like you won't need to avoid things like that cause you're not a cheater. It will take time. She has to see that you are patient with her and don't get mad about how she feels. Be understanding. Damn, I find it hard myself to know what would make ME feel better. Good luck. Of course don't check out other girls, or even compliment girls on tv. Anything that would make her feel "less" than another girl. You don't have to buy her anything just do things that show you care. Like little kisses on the cheek or ways that show you enjoy her company. Or just check her out once in a while. She'll like that.
2007-11-03 07:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by Quentpoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lying, even about small things, will set you back big time. Trust is an hard thing to gain and can be lost in a second. If you truly love her, tell her every day. SHOW her everyday how much you care about her and make her feel like shes the only one for you. If you truly do care for this girl, she'll come around.
But I advise against lying to her again, ever, no matter what.
2007-11-03 07:24:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, hun;
A girl can easily mistrust anything. However, if you want her to know that you are not lying and being truthful, pull her aside and let her know. Also, it may help if you grab her hands and look into her eyes. If you keep physical contact with her while telling her this, she'll feel more comfortable with you.
Also, try telling her that you're sorry for making her worry. If you do so, she'll know that you care about how she might have been feeling at the time.
Good luck!
2007-11-03 07:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by Meep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a hard thing to gain and a very easy thing to lose. She has trust issues, so you need to be patient with her to help her get past them. It may take time, but if you stick with it and do things for her to help make her more comfortable and trusting in you, it could pay off in the long run. Good luck!
2007-11-03 07:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can feel her pane cause its hard for me 2 get close 2 people. i would try 2 tell her an if that dont work then try 2 tell her how u feel. that ur the only one 4 me an i wouldnt tell u this if it wasnt true. even though you lied its part of life an she shouldnt hold that against u. an she seems very posesive.
2007-11-03 07:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is hard
okay
uhm
try this:
lets say u go to a cafe and invite the slutty friend there.
KNOW that ur gf is there but pertend that you don't know her
tell the friend that u dont like the way she was dressed and she just messed ur whole relationship up then make it loud enough so ur gf will hear u
sorry im REALLY drowsy so i can'r really germinate any ideas into my head
hope i helped still
and
good luck =)
2007-11-03 07:23:06 · answer #9 · answered by i have aquestion... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to really gain her trust is to be a trust worthy person dont just tell her that your telling the truth, show her that you are. by doing something nice like take her out to dinner and talk about important things not just how wonderful u think she is
2007-11-03 07:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by Bella and Edward 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋